Like any retiree, Calvin Klein has a lot of time on his hands, and like any retiree he gets to indulge in his hobbies. Apparently his main one these days is going to glam parties with his ex-porn star boyfriend Nick Gruber in tow. Here's the sad display the duo made this past Saturday at The Standard when they attended hotelier Andre Balazs' Halloween party at the swinging club atop the hotel/exhibitionist hotspot.

Not only did Ashton Kutcher pose for the cover of Details' September issue, he also edited a special "online only" version, out today. Turns out Hollywood's prettiest boytoy is one compromised whore of a magazine editor, directing most of his recommendations and profiles to tech companies he's invested in, with nary a word of disclosure. It's shameless even by Condé Nast standards.

Today isn't only the day Elvis died. It's the day another pop legend, Madonna, was born. She was spotted celebrating today in London with her kids and her new 24-year-old boyfriend. Boy, he really does fit the mold.

Of all terrible naked pregnant poses, man hand bra is my least favorite. The problem is that, when a man puts his hands on his wife's tits, he automatically makes a grabbing motion. See how Nick's fingers are tensed, his thumbs outstretched and gripping? That is the source of the awkwardness. This is not an elegant nude. This is a virile man getting to second base with a lady he recently knocked up.

Recently departed IAC chairman Barry Diller only has 57 Facebook friends, mostly CEOs and moguls. He defriended two people yesterday, including one of his pretty boy travel companions, Bryan Fox. But one comely gay made the cut. Meet Arturo Diaz.

The Post's totally superfluous Page Six Magazine comes out tomorrow with a cover story about Madonna's former boytoy Jesus Luz. The problem is no one wants to hear him talk. And when he does, he sounds like a fool.

Credit where it's due: Barry Diller knows how to vacation. The IAC boss is tightfisted at headquarters, but his holidays are plenty decadent. There's the corporate jet; the giant boat; tropical beaches; and a set of young blonde twins.

What has anti-gay activist George Rekers been up to since it was revealed that he hired a male escort for a European vacation? First, he wrote a letter denying everything. Then, he spoke with the escort and... didn't deny anything.

It's been quite a ride for Jesus Luz, the Brazilian model most famous for serving as Madonna's arm candy since the two met in Rio last December (and bonded over their shared enthusiasm for Kabbalah, apparently). A year ago Luz was making $500 a day as a model. These days—and like several other people better known for their connections/last names, not their musical abilities)—Luz collects a tidy sum to spin at clubs around town, and his modeling career has been given a big boost as well:

There's no use denying that we have had more than a passing interest in reality dating shows for just about as long as we can remember. From watching to Roger Lodge wink his way through Blind Date to finding ourselves hooked into all of the Flavor of Love franchises to our guiltiest moment where we watched a marathon of Shipmates, we had thought we'd seen it all from the genre. But today’s news that King of Television Ryan Seacrest has enlisted Hills boy toy/master nobody Brody Jenner to star in Bromance has officially ruined our ever-weakening belief in these shows doing anything other than harm to our souls. The premise, the challenges, and the overall stench of this upcoming MTV series sounds like, quite possibly, the worst idea in the history of ideas:

Angelina Jolie wasn’t kidding when she went on (and on) about über-husband, highbrow architect and sometimes-actor Brad Pitt’s obsession with home design in this month's Vanity Fair. As we noted on Tuesday, Jolie spent much of the VF cover story gushing about Pitt’s ability to design and teach her how to make the light look just right in all seasons (side note — are we the only ones who find this incredibly unsexy? Hell, it’s Brad Pitt. Nevermind). But on a recent jaunt to Switzerland, he dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars on in an effort to furnish upcoming Chosen Two Perfection Facility with furniture that is high on style but low on comfort. From scratchy aluminum rugs to chairs that do not look suitable for any variety of chair sex (wild or otherwise), we took a closer look at Brad’s shopping spree after the jump.