A 28-year-old man was arrested for theft in Bra, Italy this week. The targets of his crime? Men's boxers, undershirts and jockstraps. Just kidding — what kind of a viral news item would that be? He was stealing bras, dummy.

Justin Bieber lost his virginity over the weekend. Well, his "having bras thrown on stage" virginity, anyway.

After testing positive for alcohol use during her house arrest following a neverending string of DUIs, probation violations, and an uncontested theft, Lindsay Lohan arrived in court today wearing her most conservative outfit yet: A blue striped button-down and black dress pants. But her bra showed anyway, in the gap between buttons. Modest clothes strain to fly off her body, like misaligned magnets repelling each other.