Like Bombs Over Baghdad, Brangelina Breakup insanity continuous through the morning. Andy Dick's non-story sobriety. Johnny Carson: miserable bastard. Michael C. Hall: cunning cancer strategies. Sundance suckage, Susan Boyle rocks, Axl Rose doesn't. Presenting your epic Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup.
OH GOOD GOD THIS CAN'T. WAIT. UNTIL. TOMORROW. HUG LOVED ONES. DON'T STAND NEAR ANY WINDOWS. SHELTER YOUR THIRD-WORLD CHILDREN. GO TO CHURCH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Brad and Angelina appear to be breaking up. UPDATE: Perez offers dissent.
"Eat my panties off me," Mrs. Pratt rhythmically coos. Vogue threatens Anna Wintour's town car, Elin Nordegren invests in another house, Ryan Seacrest cries over Simon. Come, plumb the depths of Wednesday's gossip.
L.A. Dodger Matt Kemp squeezed Rihanna. Who's happier, him or the photographer who shot it? Vince Vaughn gets married. Gaga gets a new look. Jeremy Piven has a lobotomy scar? Tuesday gossip has room for argument.
Beyonce and Lady Gaga leak a clip from their forthcoming music video; Levi Johnston disguises himself as the Unabomber; at least one member of Congress thinks Carrie Prejean should run for office. Welcome to Tuesday's gossip.
Simon Cowell can't escape the coif, Bai Ling has a hungry pussy, Mel Gibson throws sticks and stones, and the Brangelina+Gosselin vortex will sink us all.
Brad and Angelina want to move to the Upper West Side, I'd prefer they didn't. Shirley Jones wants to get naked; same. Piven's a perv, Shatner's sad, Paul McCartney sucks, Stevie Wonder does blow! Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:
High profile press fight! People magazine editor Larry Hackett just sent out an internal memo blasting the page one New York Times story today about People's alleged shady dealings with Angelina Jolie. Specifically, the Times cited two anonymous sources "with knowledge of the bidding" for the photos of Jolie and Brad Pitt's most recent newborns—which cost People $14 million—who said that there was an formal agreement that "obliged" the magazine to offer only positive coverage. Of course, as Hackett acknowledges, their coverage was positive; but he strongly asserts that the magazine would never "purposely slant coverage as condition for acquiring pictures." And indeed, the Times may have oversold that angle in their story. There's certainly a difference between what Jolie asks for, and what a magazine would explicitly "promise" to do. Read his full memo below:
Several months ago, Brad Pitt fired his flack. His other half, Angelina Jolie, doesn't have a dedicated, full time PR rep herself either. The fact that the couple generally gets great press anyhow raises the obvious question: if Brangelina doesn't need a publicist, who does? The nuanced answer has to do with the changing nature of the celebrity media and the shifting balance of power among various types of Hollywood insiders. The blunt answer is, "Very few Hollywood people need flacks any more." Disintermediation is the new black! When you think of celebrity media today, think of two words: OK! magazine. Its entire business model is based on working *with* celebrities to come up with the nicest, most agreeable presentation possible. OK! is so celebrity-friendly it is edited by a former celebrity flack.
Like most other all-night diners in the vicinity, Defamer's Washington Bureau is positively churning with activity a mere 11 weeks from Election Day. Alas, with so many other outlets having beat us to the punch regarding, say, Barack Obama's fund-raising prowess, we're left to cover an arguably more urgent and immediate controversy affecting liberal firebrand Roseanne Barr and her outspoken conservative archrival Jon Voight. And while it seemed like fun from a distance when the comedienne first lobbed mud last Friday, a closer look today has us dodging sallies in every direction.In case it slipped by you last week, Roseanne got off a Jon Voight blast labeling the Oscar winner as both a "used tampon" and "frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu" whose anti-Obama screeds are the bidding of the Republican Party. But Voight's an easy enough target; Roseanne, who's known to blame her worst writing on disgruntled interns rather than 'fess up to blogging under the influence, then took aim at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie — and their kids:
You know the night is not going to go smoothly when your frazzled blonde waitress still hasn't brought your wine out, despite the fact that it's been 20 minutes since the second time you checked in on it. Thanks to this oversight, now your bladder is full from drinking water and you're about to eat the table because the only reservation you could get at this hot shit new place was 9:30pm. Welcome to Gjelina, a new eat local, small-plate, outrageously trendy restaurant which soft opened on Abbot Kinney on July 20. The chef, Travis Lett, did time at Tengu, and the general manager, Robert Schwan, comes from the stellar Japanese locale Wabi Sabi. Unfortunately, our first visit to Gjelina only got worse from there.At least the restaurant itself was nice to look at.
Uh-oh: parents do love other kids more. Especially if they're their real kids. A new study finds that foster- and step-children are "twice as likely to die" from unintentional maltreatment. This does not bode well for the children-of-many-colors of Brangelina! (Remember, it's their biological kids that commanded millions for magazine covers, not the ones she adopted as a single mom.) [Science Daily]
We hear that People is feverishly closing its upcoming issue tonight, so that the magazine can be on newsstands by Monday with its $10-15 million worth of Brangelina baby pictures. The spread, we hear, will be in the neighborhood of 30 pages. Babylicious!
