Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow trash Katherine Heigl, Joe Jackson confirms Michael Jackson's Norwegian lovechild, Britney mocks K-Fed's weight gain, Robert Redford dislikes Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Simpson has an expensive new reality show and Sienna Miller needs love.
Michael Jackson may have a secret child, Billy Joel gets a rebound girl, Ruth Madoff travels in ripped jeans and a baseball cap, Britney Spears' father pronounces his daughter completely sane and Sienna Miller goes off on an interviewer.
Jon Gosselin just can't get enough ass, the Bush daughters were unholy terrors for the Secret Service, some Russian guy is sending death threats to Britney Spears, Michael Jackson's doctor is in hiding and Cameron Diaz parties with Jude Law.
• The "unspecified medical condition" that led the police to take Mischa Barton to the hospital on Wednesday? She was placed under a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold, and she ended up missing the New York premiere of her new film, Homecoming, last night. [NYDN, P6]
• Britney Spears is dating her agent. But she's also spending alone time with her record producer, too. So she's keeping busy, clearly. [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel says she's hosting a new show called "Skinny & the City," but the woman who already owns the trademark to the name is going to see what she can do about that. [NYDN]
• Two people died in France after a set being constructed for an upcoming Madonna concert collapsed. It's all Madonna's fault, naturally. [People]
• Rubina Ali, one of the stars of Slumdog Millionaire, says she thought Nicole Kidman was "strange" after working with her on a commercial recently. [Us]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's relationship is on the rocks, reports the National Enquirer once again. But the couple has come up with the perfect way to rekindle the romance: They're hoping to film a sequel to Mr. & Mrs. Smith. [NE]
Mischa Barton was supposed to be in New York tonight to attend the premiere her of her new movie, Homecoming, which was directed by Morgan Freeman. However, she won't be attending after cops were called to her home last night.
• In news that will delight Jews the world over, it seems Britney Spears is thinking about converting to Judaism. She's been seen wearing a Star of David necklace and has found a rabbi to, like, teach her about stuff, so she's well on her way, clearly. [Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan hasn't been getting too many acting roles what with all her personal problems as of late. But she may have found a way around that: She's starting her own film/TV production company. [THR]
• Jerry Seinfeld's rep says he not facing money troubles. But he is doing commercials for "a bank in the boonies of Australia," which can't be a good sign. [P6]
• Mariska Hargitay is back on the set of Law & Order: SVU after a mishap earlier this week sent her to the hospital for 13 stitches. [NYDN]
• Publicist Ali Wise was arrested earlier this week for hacking into Nina Freudenberger's voicemail. But she may not be the only victim out there. [P6]
Lilo stole the formula for her spray-tan product and passed on a starring role in The Hangover, Britney Spears visits the Eiffel Tower, Mischa Barton's wisdom teeth are making her bloated and Megan Fox steps out in an Armani dress.
• Sharon Stone is denying reports she was detained by the police after she getting into a fight with a flight attendant on a trip to Salt Lake City. Yes, she says, she did get into an argument, but the cops who met her when her plane landed were just there to protect her from hoardes of "autograph seekers." That makes sense! [Independent]
• Count Alex de Lesseps is throwing cold water on the rumor he's reuniting with his wife, "Real Housewife" LuAnn de Lesseps. [P6]
• Beyoncé comes out on top of Forbes' new list of top-earning celebs under the age of 30. The triple-threat is estimated to have brought home $87 million over the past year. [Mirror]
Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.
Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf might be boning, Whitney Port has a new fake boyfriend, Britney Spears dyed her hair and is sporting a ring, Bradley Cooper put Jennifer Aniston in the friend zone and Leo DiCaprio's shoes got stolen.
• A second autopsy was performed on Michael Jackson over the weekend just as details from the first were revealed: Jackson was just 112 pounds when he died and his "emaciated body was riddled with needle marks and scars, and his head was virtually bald." In the meantime, his doctor, Conrad Murray, has denied giving Jackson any drugs right before his death and says he found a faint pulse when he first discovered him. Jackson's parents say they plan to fight for custody of Jackson's kids and for control of his estate. And plenty of people came out to celebrate Jackson's life at a couple of BET parties this weekend. And now you're all caught up. [NYP, LAT, WP, NYDN]
• Poor Jen Aniston. One minute she's happy and relaxed and supposedly dating Bradley Cooper and now Cooper says they're just "friends." [P6, NYDN]
Someone is shopping a tape of Leighton Meester boning an ex-boyfriend, Robert Pattinson gets hit by a cab, Jennifer Garner tries to breakup Ben Affleck and Kevin Smith, Susan Boyle goes bonkers again and Beyonce screws over a club owner.
• The owner of M2, the club formerly known as Crobar and Mansion, says he may sue Beyoncé now that she appears to be backing out of a deal to perform at the club for $200K. [P6]
• It's been nearly 10 months since Jeremy Piven put a deadly piece of fish in his mouth and the sudden onset of mercury poisoning forced him to drop out of a Broadway show and seek medical treatment. He's feeling much, much better now, he'd like you to know. And he's still sticking to that fishy story about fish, evidently. [People]
• During a recent concert in Manchester recently, Britney Spears shouted out, "What's up, London," a line that did not go over well with the crowd. [Sun]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a relationship advice book. The secret to landing sweet, charming men like Carson Daly and John Mayer: coming soon to bookstores everywhere! [People]
Leo the Great dumped Bar Refaeli, Britney Spears is banging her agent at William Morris, Miley Cyrus dumped her boyfriend and is after Nick Jonas, Lauren Conrad's new novel will be horrendous, and David Carradine bought lots of sex toys.
