• Kanye West and Lady Gaga's "Fame Kills" tour has been canceled. Was it because of Kanye's little incident at the VMAs? Because tickets weren't selling? No one's saying, although the name of the tour was pretty prophetic, wasn't it? [TMZ, NYDN]
• Kate Hudson isn't a huge hit with Yankee players' wives and girlfriends: "Kate acts like she and Alex [Rodriguez] are married, and no one gets it," said a source. "It strikes them as odd, and it seems suspicious." [MSNBC]
• Lauren Conrad has admitted she can't act. Really. "I think my acting is offensive!" she says. "I'm an awful actor, I'm not super comfortable with it." This it all very true, of course. But points for honesty! [People]
• In a new series of ads for her line of leggings, 6126, Lindsay Lohan can be seen modeling with a stripper pole. Naturally. [NYDN, Daily Mail]

Being a movie star — or motherhood — makes Sarah Jessica Parker look sleepy. TLC learns its Gosselin lesson. Quentin Tarantino loves sequels. And Katy Perry teaches us the power of tit-pics. TGIF, you attractive devils! It's your gossip roundup!

[To keep from getting orange smears on her white dress, Britney Spears snacks on a Michael Jackson CD at Target yesterday. Image via X17]

To increasingly impoverished Main Street, U.S.A., Britney Spears recently spent $3,000 on candy. Riot!

September 29th is a day that will go down in ginfamy (that is gay infamy) as the day that Mariah Carey, Madonna, Barbra Streisand, and Britney Spears battled for supremacy in gay hearts and minds. Who will stand victorious?

• The Kardashian girls continue to rake it in. Khloe Kardashian tied the knot with LA Laker Lamar Odom last night at a ceremony and reception was paid for by E!. (The event will be featured on an upcoming episode of E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians.) She may collect $250,000 more by selling photos of the nuptials. [People, TMZ, P6]
• After spending three decades as a fugitive on charges he raped a 13-year-old in 1978, famed director Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday while on his way to attend the Zurich Film Festival. [NYDN, ABC]
• One of Saturday Night Live's brand new cast members, Jenny Slate, dropped an F-bomb on the show. [YouTube, NYDN]

Michael Jackson saw rivalry in Madonna's eyes, Kelly Rutherford's husband won't be coming near her, and Jude Law's not the best father. All that and more in your Friday morning Gossip Roundup!

• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford got a temporary restraining order against her ex-husband, Daniel Giersch, saying that he harassed both her and her nanny, which, to add insult to injury, caused her nanny to quit. [TMZ, People]
• Randy Quaid, the actor who played Cousin Eddie in the National Lampoon's Vacation movies, may be more like his character than anyone thought. He was arrested near the Mexico border with his wife on charges that he bolted on a $10,000 hotel bill. The two have already posted bail, but not before hamming it up for their mug shots and scribbling a handwritten note to TMZ. Clark W. Griswold would be proud. [AP, TMZ, P6]
• She's been married to Keith Urban since June 2006, but Nicole Kidman is still known as "the lady who used to be married to Tom Cruise" by at least two Starbucks baristas, and she's not happy about it. [P6]

RobPatz and Frowny Face ain't going nowhere. Jude Law kept his dick to himself for a night. John Travolta would rather not do your movie publicity. VH1's toning it down. Britney Spears: casting villain. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Chace Crawford eating on a bench in the West Village ... Anne Hathaway walking with boyfriend Adam Shulman downtown ... Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell sitting with Jack Nicholson and Lorne Michaels at a Yankees game ... Beyoncé leaving Bar Pitti with Jay-Z ... Matt Lauer walking solo ... Tina Fey shooting scenes for 30 Rock in Rockefeller Plaza ... Blake Lively walking around on the set of Gossip Girl ... Jerry Springer arriving at his hotel ... Rihanna visiting a doctor's office on Long Island ... Britney Spears carrying her son around in Midtown ... and Whitney Port leaving Sant Ambroeus in the West Village after having lunch.

Sienna Miller walking with Jonny Lee Miller after having lunch at Cafe Gitane on Mott Street ... Rihanna arriving at the Bowery Hotel ... Drew Barrymore on the set of Going The Distance ... Philip Seymour Hoffman riding his bike downtown ... Tom DeLonge pushing a stroller in SoHo ... Christina Milian arriving at her hotel ... Leighton Meester filming scenes for Gossip Girl near Gramercy Park ... Britney Spears riding in a pedicab in Central Park, and later taking a CitySights tour with her dancers ... Jennifer Aniston leaving her trailer on the set of The Bounty in Queens ... Stephanie Pratt going to MTV studios in Times Square ... Hugh Jackman talking on his cell phone while driving with daughter Ava ... Hilary Duff going to the Britney Spears concert ... Gael Garcia Bernal and Amanda Seyfried shooting scenes for Letters to Juliet in SoHo ... and Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her West Village townhouse.

• Is Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend, planning to move to New York? Possibly! [DM]
• A coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death was due to lethal levels of the anesthetic Propofol in his body, which may very well pave the way for prosecutors to file manslaughter charges against Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray. [MSNBC, People, NYDN]
• In other Jackson family news, Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with LaToya Jackson, which will air on September 11. Exciting, huh? [ABC]
• Jessica Biel is the most dangerous celebrity on earth—at least when it comes to computer viruses. People who seek out info on Biel online stand a one-in-five chance of visiting a site "designed to damage their computer." [Us]

Writer Fred Bernstein took his 7-year-old twins to P.S. 1 in Queens recently to take in a little contemporary art. The problem was that he missed the tiny sign at the entrance which warned that the galleries contained "graphic imagery," which meant he had to usher his sons out of the room when he realized one of the exhibits contained "a giant photo of Katie Couric delivering the evening news with her genitalia exposed." Really? No, not really. It's Couric's head attached to Britney Spears' body. But who knew the museum was home to such a cultural treasure? If you're not working today—or you are at work, but you have a boss who appreciates the boundary-pushing nature of contemporary art—the photo can be seen in all its glory here. [NYT/City Room]

Marisa Tomei sitting on a bike with boyfriend Logan Marshall-Green in SoHo ... Heather Mills walking home after a visit to the hair salon ... Drew Barrymore leaving Gemma after lunch ... Ali Lohan walking in NoHo with a male friend ... Kirsten Dunst hanging out with younger brother Christian in SoHo ... Rihanna arriving at a recording studio downtown ... Carolina Herrera eating a late dinner at Elio's last night ... Britney Spears taking her sons Sean and Jayden to see The Little Mermaid on Broadway ... Sophia Bush leaving Pop Yogurt in SoHo with boyfriend Austin Nichols ... Hugh Jackman walking with his daughter along the Hudson River ... Lindsay Lohan leaving the Bowery Hotel in the back seat of an SUV ... ... Amanda Seyfried eating ice cream on Houston Street .... and Frances Bean Cobain walking with friends on on 14th Street.

[Britney puts on an impromptu magic show while hanging out yesterday with her kids by the pool in Marina Del Ray. Image via Flynet]

Demi and Rumer enjoy some male stripper action, Jessica Simpson angles for an American Idol gig, the fate of Michael Jackson's corpse remains a creepy mystery, Lady Gaga abuses men, Britney sports a new bikini, and Hugh Grant contemplates retirement.

Two teenage celebrities might be getting married, and therefore: doing it. Robert Pattinson's life is invaded by aliens. Paula wants back on Idol, and I want back in the womb. Madonna, Sinatra, Spears, Spacey. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Brad and Angelina enjoy pool sex, Lady Gaga is a confirmed hermaphrodite, Constantine Maroulis gets beat up over Paula Abdul at Ciprianis, Patrick Swayze is recovering nicely, Britney looks good in a white bikini and Paris and Douglas Reinhardt reunite.

Gerard Butler rejects Kelly Bensimon, Adam Lambert's fans throw sex toys at him, Ashley Olsen is surprised she didn't end up like Britney, Ryan O'Neal gave his 11-year-old son cocaine, Joan Rivers hates Jon Gosselin and Madonna plagiarizes a poet.

IRS authorities are after Nick Cage, Clooney shows off his new lady-friend, Jude Law met the mother of his latest child on the street at 4am, Britney Spears has a new do and a Sopranos movie is in the works.