The Expendables—starring your favorite '80s-90's action stars— topped the charts last weekend. But which member of the cast is tops when it comes to the number of people he's killed on screen in other movies? Amazing infographic inside.

The actor and bald person is releasing his scent all over America's face. His musk has been infused into cologne, body wash, and deodorant, and this Thursday you can buy it all. Hopefully it's Moonlighting-era smell, not Color of Night.

It's Helen Mirren day, apparently! Here's a trailer for RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous), an action comedy about retired CIA agents who are, of course, drawn back into the game when shit starts to go haywire. Look at that cast!

Bruce Willis knows what Bruce Willis is good at: promoting and acting. That's basically it! Notice how "choosing a vodka company to become a partner in" isn't on that list.

Who's shilling vodka these days? Bruce Willis, as well as Spike Lee. Also, ad agencies can't find enough "creatives," and all the "creatives" that they have are stereotypical pricks. These things are all related, if you think about it.

It's easy to make fun of celebrities for being in dumb commercials and embarrassing themselves. Like Seth Green for Nerf. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger in Japan. But to find celebrities acting well in their natural habitat in a commercial is hard to find.

The trailer for The Expendables (née My Big Fat 90's Action Movie) debuted today and features Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis and a panoply of other names you haven't heard since Demoliton Man was tearing up the box office.

O Meo my! It's true! Because their movie Shutter Island just did so well again this week, the longtime pair has agreed to make it official. To celebrate their nuptials, they'll next be making a romantic comedy with Katherine Heigl.

There was something that was just a bit... off about Bruce Willis' appearance on Good Morning America today. He was attempting to promote Cop Out, but it seemed like someone slipped a Xanax—or six, into his morning coffee.

So Kevin Smith strikes gold with one good black and white comedy in the early 90's, and now the moviegoing public must pay for it for the next 20 years. Cop Out is just his most recent must miss.

• Christian Delouvrier, the French chef who earned four stars at Lespinasse and later put in time at Alain Ducasse and David Bouley's Secession, is now behind the stove at the more modest La Mangeoire on 53rd and Second Ave. [NYT]
• Ravi DeRossi of Death & Co. and, more recently, Mayahuel, will open a Cuban sandwich shop next month and a rum lounge the month after that. [GS]
• Scarpetta could be opening a Las Vegas outpost in the near future. [P6]
• Giuseppe Cipriani was hit with another lawsuit today, this time for allegedly underpaying his workers; a Cipriani rep says it's "categorically untrue." [NYT]
• The Box's Simon Hammerstein is taking his shtick to Moscow for NYE. [P6]
• A few more local NYE options, if you're looking for that sort of thing. [Zagat]
• Lists: Bon Appétit rounds up the 10 best budget dishes of 2009. [BA]
• The color of your liquor determines your hangover, apparently. [NYDN]
• Bruce Willis is the latest celebrity to own a piece of a vodka company. [WSJ]

Paris is back, bitches. Art Garfunkel: kind of a bitch. Ann Landers went to Scores with JFK Jr. Diane von Furstenburg's been drinking Pimp Juice. Sammy Sosa: white. Metal weddings: black. Michael Moore: fat. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup!

When it comes to comedy, there's no arguing with taste. And if what America wants in their humor is the smirking, manic, his-lips-say-wacky-but-his-eyes-say-death-can't-come-quick-enough antics of Vince Vaughn, then who are we to argue?

Sienna Miller walking her dog ... Rihanna getting out of an SUV ... Will Ferrell jogging near Union Square ... Matt Damon filming scenes for The Adjustment Bureau with Anthony Mackie in Brooklyn ... Paul Simon walking on Madison Avenue ... Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore leaving their hotel ... Kevin Bacon walking on 14th Street ... Bruce Willis arriving at ABC for an appearance on GMA ... Calvin Klein eating lunch outside at Sant Ambroeus in the Village ... Angie Harmon carrying her daughter on Madison Avenue ... and John Mayer leaving Gemma on the Bowery after having dinner.

Jennifer Aniston: now eliciting tabloid sympathy. Scott Rudin: still a dick, but a funny one who hates his mother. Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart: prisoners of the vampire kingdom, which needs to go. Winehouse: mess-y. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Demi and Rumer enjoy some male stripper action, Jessica Simpson angles for an American Idol gig, the fate of Michael Jackson's corpse remains a creepy mystery, Lady Gaga abuses men, Britney sports a new bikini, and Hugh Grant contemplates retirement.

Mischa Barton heading into an Equinox with a friend ... Ed Westwick talking on his cell phone ... Kanye West hanging out with a friend outside the Jamba Juice in SoHo ... Linda Evangelista walking downtown with a bottle of water in hand ... Justin Long and Drew Barrymore playing football in Central Park ... Allison Janney shopping with her mom in Midtown ... Tyra Banks on location at the Ziegfeld Theatre for Gossip Girl ... Hilary Duff crossing the street with a bodyguard ... Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler riding in a convertible while filming a scene for The Bounty ... Bruce Willis crossing the street on the set of A Couple of Dicks in Brooklyn ... and Whitney Port sunbathing in Central Park.

A peacocked network has been brutalized by the economy. Meanwhile, a Burbank studio stores away a billion dollars in their water tower. And back at the ranch, robots are learning how to come together, fight evil, eat, pray, and love.

Kim Cattrall standing in front of Le Bilboquet on East 63rd Street .... Jessica Alba going to dinner at the Waverly Inn ... Jennifer Lopez on the set of her new movie, The Back-Up Plan ... Stephanie Pratt shopping in SoHo ... Bruce Willis watching Paul McCartney's concert at the Ed Sullivan Theater with wife Emma Hemming ... Chloe Sevigny walking on Central Park West ... Jesse Jackson on Fifth and 48th ... Drew Barrymore leaving her trailer on the set of her new movie ... Pierce Brosnan standing on the set of Remember Me in Brooklyn ... and Edie Falco getting out of a car.

Bruce Willis, 54, and his new wife, model Emma, 32, recently did a sexy-pex S&M nudie pictorial for W magazine. Go there for more pictures. (Two might not be SFW).