A camel that bit, kicked, and smothered an American to death at a wildlife park in Mexico was reportedly upset that it hadn't yet received its daily Coca-Cola.

The Old Testament. It's been kinda important to much of human civilization going back a fair stretch. It's also a sham! Your cherished psalms and stories of ritualistic filicide are no longer any match for Israelis with radiocarbon dating equipment, sheeple!

Today we lost the dashing, dry-witted, über-talented Peter O'Toole, and his legendary performances are rightly being commemorated. But O'Toole had more than just acting chops — he had the charisma and the gravitas to, say, pull off riding into Letterman smoking a cigarette atop a camel, which he later fed a Heineken.

"Which camel, Monsieur Président? Oh, that camel? Ah, yes. We ate it."

We hasten this morning to bring you the very latest on the Penn Frat Party Camel Abuse Controversy. What's that? You haven't been following the uproar at the Ivy League that erupted after the Zeta Psi fraternity went to a petting zoo and rented a camel for its "Spring Fling" party? And how some people objected to the way that the camel was surrounded by drunken Greeks and petted to within an inch of its life?

Alas, just when we thought reality television could not become more exploitative or absurd they come up with this. Behold, little people, a camel, and a relay race.

This camel loses it when being tickled, as do his owners.

Another day, another cop tasering a camel.

[The War on Christmas has begun again in earnest! Christian activist group Faith and Action staged a live nativity scene outside the U.S. Supreme Court, just to show that they could. Click through for more photos. Images via Getty.]

A plague of thirsty camels has overrun a small, drought-ridden town in the Australian outback. The only way to survive: Round thousands of those suckers up and gun 'em down from choppers.

Are you aware that Camels are made from finer, more expensive tobaccos than any other brand? And that they stimulate digestion, taste great, and will make you a better swimmer? Failing to teach your kids to smoke Camels is virtually child abuse! All true, according to the R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company. We've compiled five of the most outrageous claims from classic Camel ads of the 1930s-50s, from the peerless archive at the Gallery of Graphic Design. Read them and be educated. Do it for your "T-Zone!"