Donald Trump’s most recent expenditure report is a disaster perfectly befitting the campaign from whence it came. And of all the campaign’s various questionable spending decisions ($208,000 on hats), one recipient in particular stands out—mostly because it’s named after a fake advertising company from Mad Men.

San Francisco’s Crissy Field is a treeless stretch of grass nestled in the armpit of the Golden Gate Bridge. The setting is picturesque, but the location—foggy, windswept, inaccessible—sucks. This did not stop Senator Bernie Sanders from summoning his supporters there on Monday, for what would turn out to be the last night, indeed, the last few minutes, during which the Vermont senator still had a shred of an excuse to remain hopeful about his prospects.

Donald Trump, at least two snitches tell Bloomberg, got on a conference call today with his supporters to urge them to attack the judge overseeing two federal lawsuits filed against the entity formally known as Trump University. He also encouraged them to brand any reporters criticizing him for it as “racist.”

Florida Rep. David Jolly wants to take Marco Rubio’s seat in the Senate. Unfortunately for him, he also has a long history of ties to the Church of Scientology. Which is why his campaign has been hard at work scrubbing Jolly’s Wikipedia page of any mention to the elaborate pyramid scheme of a religion, it recently confirmed to BuzzFeed News.

After failing to break ten percent in tonight’s South Carolina primary—and blowing through millions of dollars thrown at his own Super-PAC, Right to Rise—Jeb Bush is formally suspending his presidential campaign.

Carly Fiorina suspended her campaign for president this afternoon, having failed to claim any delegates in the New Hampshire primary. This is good for the country, but also kind of sad, because there is so much that Carly Fiorina has left unsaid.

Last quarter, the Lindsey Graham campaign spent $44.17 at Hooters.

Last quarter, Bernie Sanders’ campaign paid $625 to actor and careless man Mark Ruffalo. We wanted to know... why?

For presidential primogeniture artist John Ellis “Jeb” Bush, distancing himself from the family name is only half the battle: He must appear to embrace the youngs as tightly as Napoleon appeared to embraced the plague-stricken poor. Fortunately, his website coders had a plan. The youngs love Bruce Willis, right?

Mark Harris could win North Carolina's GOP Senate primary next Tuesday. If so, he may easily become the state's next U.S. senator. And he could do it all with sketchy "love offerings" from parishioners caught on tape passing the hat at the church where he's a pastor.

Are you from Talladega? Do you like guns? But I repeat myself. The point is: Your conservative state representative likes guns. A lot. He's a big fan of big guns. With big barbecue smokers inside of them. Now, who are you voting for in November?

Via Copyranter, the tale of University of Calgary Hayley Wade, whose innovative campaign for Vice President of Student Life used this poster ("Great dick bro!") above urinals in the men's bathrooms on campus. She won. Mitt Romney, take note. [Copyranter]

The above image of Rick Santorum came to Gawker's tips line with the subject line "santorum pictures (REAL!!!!)"

Roseanne Barr came through on her summer promise last night and announced that she will seek the Green Party's nomination in the 2012 presidential election. She also revealed her official campaign slogan on Twitter: "vote for me, I'll fix this shit!"

Saturday Night Live and Suburgatory star Ana Gasteyer signed up for Twitter in August. She loves it — "it's a fantastic way to connect with your specific weird following," she told me — but there's a problem: Twitter won't verify her account. No matter what she does. (Update below.)

You're like, "wait, I thought he "suspended" his campaign yesterday so he could focus on making a new website." That's all true, but just because he quit doesn't mean his supporters suspended their adoration of Herman Cain.

As Governor of Texas, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry enacted a policy of providing in-state tuition for the children of illegal immigrants, thereby not completely alienating the country's fastest-growing populations. For this, he was roundly punished by the Republican electorate. But he has a secret weapon: America's favorite fascist Joe Arpaio!

Here's a sweet Australian ad for—well, I don't want to ruin the surprise (you will probably be able to guess what's going to happen anyway), except to say that the United States could stand to see more campaigns like this.

"The Romney campaign suggested that Gingrich was using the quote out of context." — Poor Mitt Romney, being misquoted like that! Too bad his campaign just said misquoting opponents is A-OK, as long as it gets people talking about Romney.

If you had any doubt that Michele Bachmann's presidential campaign is little more than a vanity effort designed to snag camera time and sell copies of her hastily written memoir, add this to the evidence locker: According to internal campaign documents, her own treasurer says she has no plans to field employees or volunteers in Florida, Texas, Michigan, or California, and the campaign hopes at best to raise just $30 million—a lot less than it generally takes to win a national primary.