Here's an extremely simple rule for journalists wondering when to disclose that they're married to an influential government official: always. Always disclose that. This rule is, strangely, too complex for adult human Campbell Brown to understand.

In your profane Tuesday media column: the FCC's indecency policy is struck down, John King is an unpopular host, Playboy's future is cloudy, and Campbell Brown has a mere two weeks left on CNN—though she has our hearts forever.

What happens when sex fiend Eliot Spitzer and Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker get together on CNN at 8 p.m.? They make out. No, they talk about politics 'n' stuff! Introducing your new CNN primetime debate show.

The Weekly Standard's Bill Kristol is so excited that "patriot" Campbell Brown is heroically leaving CNN—because she can't compete with other TV blowhards—that he wants her to run against NY Senator Chuck Schumer. [Weekly Standard, pic]

Longtime anchor Campbell Brown has left CNN, due to no one watching her. But who will replace her? Disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, perhaps? "Nope. Nope," says Spitzer. But that's a double negative! So definitely Spitzer. [Washington Examiner]

Larry King sold his suspenders. Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta saved young Haitians. And Jessica Yellin made a terrible earthquake-related pun. Welcome to the strangest night yet of CNN's unrelenting prime-time Haiti coverage.

Talking for an hour over pictures of unspeakable destruction has got to be a grueling task. Tonight, CNN's Campbell Brown was nearly overwhelmed by two hurt kids in Haiti.

Heading up the renewed push for those controversial, clothes-penetrating scanners at airports is former homeland security secretary Michael Chertoff. His consulting firm represents companies who make the scanners, but you wouldn't know it from reading the papers.

On the morning he was arrested on corruption charges last December, Rod Blagojevich was the nation's biggest greaseball. So obviously, the national press was willing to say anything to land an interview. And we've got their emails to prove it.

The deluge of media e-mails to Rod Blagojevich's press secretary in the wake of his arrest, obtained from the state of Illinois through the Freedom of Information Act.

• Cablevision is planning to launch an entire cable network devoted to nothing but wedding shows. So now you'll be able to watch Bridezillas 24/7. Yay. [B&C]
• It may not be over for Vibe. Quincy Jones, who founded the magazine in '93, says he's looking into buying it back and keeping it alive as a website. [Ebony]
• Spin reportedly laid off 20 percent of its staff yesterday. [Gawker]
• Gannett Co., the largest newspaper publisher in the U.S. by circulation, is reportedly cutting between 1,000 and 2,000 jobs at the company. [WSJ]
• More bad news for CNN: MSNBC is now in front on weeknights and Campbell Brown's nightly show continues to plunge in the ratings, too. [NYT, TVBTN]
• CNBC's Dennis Kneale doesn't like it when bloggers mock him. Will acting like a nut on TV fix that? No, but it sure makes for amusing TV. [Dealbreaker]

Blow a kiss in Adriana Lima's direction. The supermodel turns 28 today. Others celebrating: Yankees star Hideki Matsui is turning 35. Deputy mayor Kevin Sheekey is turning 43. David Rockefeller is 94. Sports Marv Albert is turning 68. Real estate broker Michele Kleier is 66. Hunter College president Jennifer Raab turns 53. Kendra Wilkinson is turning 24. And George H. W. Bush celebrates his 85th birthday today. Weekend birthdays—including those of the Olsen twins and Donald Trump—after the jump.

• How is Twitter going to make money? With a reality TV series, naturally. The show will involve "putting ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format," in case you were wondering. [Variety]
• The primetime lineups for next year "are chockablock with shows meant to make recession-weary viewers laugh and feel better." How encouraging! [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Anderson Cooper as well as for Roland Martin, who has been subbing for Campbell Brown recently. [Page Six]
• Bravo's next Real Housewives installment: Washington, DC. [Daily Intel]
• Fox News nut Greta Van Susteren may not be around for long. Rumor has it her contract won't be be renewed and Megyn Kelly will replace her. [NYT]
• New York lost close to $5 million last year; with ad pages down 37 percent thus far in 2009, "losses are expected to be even higher this year." [NYP]
• A Russian investment firm has dropped $200 million into Facebook's bank account in return for a 1.96 percent stake in the company. [NYT]
• Ben Stiller's Night at the Museum sequel beat out the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise with a four-day pull of $70 million. [Reuters]

• Is it finally over between Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson? Her mom and sister certainly hope so: The two were spotted with Sam at a police station yesterday to "look into filing a restraining order" against Lindsay, although LiLo appears to still be in denial, telling E! that they're just taking a "brief break." [Us, E!]
• Madonna was crushed to learn her adoption petition had been rejected by a judge in Malawi—"I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind"—but baby Mercy's uncle is now supporting her appeal, for whatever that's worth. [MSNBC, Sun]
• CNN's Campbell Brown had a baby boy yesterday. [HuffPo]
• Who does Scarlett Johansson have to thank for her new bod? Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently, since she reportedly introduced Scarlett to her trainer Tracy Anderson who put her on a "rigid diet." [Sun]

CNN is flailing, trailing even sister network Headline News this month. With Campbell Brown about to go on maternity leave, are they preparing to quit the "No Bias, No Bull" posturing?

It's been a rough few weeks for CNN. Ratings have falling fast, especially for primetime programs hosted by Anderson Cooper and Campbell Brown, news that came to light the same day Brown rather bizarrely confessed her apartment had been invaded by "toxic mold" in recent months. To make matters worse, this past weekend the Daily News revealed that Jeffrey Toobin, CNN's very-much-married legal analyst, has been having an affair with the daughter of former colleague Jeff Greenfield, and may have even gotten her pregnant, too. So how is CNN CEO Jon Klein responding to the bad news?

• More cuts at Condé Nast could come when Si Newhouse returns from his European vacation next week. Among the possible victims: Domino, Details, and staffers in the company's web division. [NYP]
• Berkley Books has cancelled plans to publish Angel at the Fence, a Holocaust memoir that the author admitted contains fabrications. [NYT]
• NBC is producing more webisodes to make up for programming gaps. [NYT]
• Ad spending in '09 is expected to drop to its lowest point since '03. [AdAge]
• CNBC's Conversations with Michael Eisner is no more. [NYP]
• An interview with CNN prez Jon Klein, who scored big ratings this year with AC360 and Campbell Brown's new show, but will also go down as the genius responsible for giving D.L. Hughley his own cable news program. [HuffPo]

It's really too bad that Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain decided to back down on his request for a $10 million bonus. If he'd stood his ground, just think of how much mileage cable news hosts would have gotten out of the story in the coming days. To your left, Campbell Brown's thoughts on the subject from last night: "Is it me or is this guy nuts?"

The other day, professional gaffe machine and Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell accidentally leaned into an open mic and said, regarding Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano's appointment to head the Department of Homeland Security, "Janet's perfect for the job, because for that job, you have to have no life. Janet has no family. Perfect. She can devote, literally, 19, 20 hours a day to it." Uh oh! Big mistake, Ed. You are guilty of singleism. Campbell Brown and Gail Collins are not happy!

Oh no, Keith Olbermann, The Left's Old Favorite Cable Person, is attacking Campbell Brown, The Lady Who Yelled At Tucker Bounds! They share a timeslot on competing networks so it was certain to happen. Clip below. Campbell is a fine interviewer who does admirably call bullshit when she hears it, but her show's self-congratulatory "keeping them honest" segments still invariably boil down to "both sides stretching the truth, as usual, what are you gonna go?" meaninglessness. And hey, she got some history wrong! In attempting to explain why a single party controlling the legislature and the White House is bad, a terribly annoying bugaboo repeated only by media people and minority parties and not so feared by voters who vote for single party rule, Campbell explained that the last time this happened was in the 1970s, with Jimmy Carter. Hah. That's not true! Nor was it in the 90s, with Bill Clinton. It was, as Keith explains, in the 2000s, with the current President, Mr. Bush. Keith doesn't explain that Campbell's point about all of those situations being disasters is actually borne out by the evidence, but whatever. Unified Democratic government also brought us Vietnam and Civil Rights, for those keeping score at home. Mixed bag, right? Click to view