Just one week after the Boy Scouts of America excitedly announced the upcoming performances of Train and Carly Rae Jepsen at the 2013 National Scout Jamboree, both acts have announced their decision to drop out over the organization's ban on gays.

Here's a mashup that, on paper, seems like a terrible idea. And yet, it works. Who knew early 90s industrial rock meshed so well with last year's biggest pop song? And with the news that Nine Inch Nails are going on tour this summer, maybe we can look forward to an opening act from Carly Rae?

Invincible as herpes, Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" has topped Village Voice's Pazz & Jop year-end critics poll.

This week, the music industry looks something like Christmas. It's not that the new music releases are gifts, per se (quite the contrary), but there are so damn many high-profile albums after a relatively dormant summer. This kind of flurry is usually reserved for the holidays. And what's more, together they give as full of a picture of the state of label-based pop music in 2012 as any recent concurrent set of albums. Really, all this week is missing is a neo-boy band. Let's explore:

The Village Voice's new set of rules for defining what makes a one-hit wonder is brilliant and essential. Carly: maybe.

"Call Me Maybe" is a smash hit pop song by Carly Rae Jepsen that has been covered an obscene number of times. (Margarita Pracatan, Cookie Monster, and a Corgi have all given their takes.)

Picture this: Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse sitting in a theater lecherously reviewing Carly Rae Jepsen's music video for "Call Me Maybe" MST3K-meets-Beavis-and-Butt-head-style while Pop-Up Video bubbles let them know Carly is old enough to legally lust over.

This week's New Yorker contains a profile of Scooter Braun, 31-year-old manager of the Wanted, Carly Rae Jepsen and, most importantly, Justin Bieber ("For a reason that Braun can't explain, most of his acts are from the British Commonwealth," writes Lizzie Widdicombe).

What do you get when you mix up dirty gangstress Khia's infamously foul-mouthed ode to oral reciprocation "My Neck, My Back" with Carly Rae Jepsen's cloyingly infectious coquetry anthem "Call Me Maybe"? W.R.7's "All You Ladies Call Me Maybe Like This" — and a very weird boner.

I don't know what's weirder: That Steve Kardynal enjoys freaking out Chatroulette users by wearing a bikini while lip-syncing to Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe", or that there are still people who use Chatroulette.

In a surprising turn of events, it seems singer Carly Rae Jepsen, who has been on a denial spree regarding fake nude photos and a fake sex tape that have appeared on the web in recent weeks, has concurrently been trying to keep real X-rated pics from being posted online.

Margarita Pracatan is at least 60, extremely Cuban and quasi-known for her wacky covers of pop songs. They are irreverent not just to their source material, but to the ideas of melody and rhythm. On Friday, she performed her one-woman show, Stranger in the Night, at New York's Laurie Beechman Theater under the direction of Zach Udko. It was one of the wildest entertainment concepts I've ever witnessed. For over an hour, Pracatan stood in front of a pidgin-English PowerPoint presentation and discussed her love of money, her hatred of marriage and her frequenting of hotel bathrooms with her riffs on pop songs like Lionel Richie's "Hello," Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream," Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" and Maroon 5/Christina Aguilera's "Moves Like Jagger" interspersed. Before singing "Jagger," she told the crowd, "You can sing with me, 'cause I don't know this song." Every time she stepped up to the keyboard, she regarded it warily, as if it were her first time ever setting eyes on it. I believe that her "Teenage Dream" rendition linked to above uses the wrong preset beat. Oh well, incoherence is her aesthetic.

Twee indie duo Jack Conte and Nataly Dawn — AKA Pomplamoose — have apparently resolved to lay waste to the World Wide Web and bring an end to civilization as we know it.

As anyone who has been online for a minute knows, a meme isn't truly a meme until Sesame Street spoofs it.

"Corgi Rae Jepsen" stars in what must surely be the very last "Call Me Maybe" parody because the Internet has officially reached its nadir and will subsequently be disconnected.

On next week's Billboard Hot 100, dated June 23, Carly Rae Jepsen's diabolical ear candy "Call Me Maybe" at last assumes the No. 1 position. The song was practically preordained as the song of the summer, and wouldn't you know, it happens hit No. 1 on the first chart of summer proper. Everything is going according to the universe's plan.

Now this is crazy: Colin Powell and CBS This Morning co-anchor Gayle King take advantage of a commercial break to bust out the chorus of Carly Rae Jepsen's insufferably infectious "Call Me Maybe" while Charlie Rose watches on.

Sorry, everyone, but you'll never escape this song this summer, so you might as well force yourself to watch every single goddamn daily cover released of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe," because at least it changes things up a bit.

Carly Rae Jepsen's pop hit "Call Me Maybe" is the kind of song you love or hate — or, perhaps more accurately, totally love and crank in the car when no one else is around, but then talk about hating in public. I don't know your life.

An unemployed electrician from Green, Ohio, embarked on a quest last Friday to set a new record for the world's longest individual fist-pump.