Courtney Love scares Lindsay Lohan straight. Zoe Saldana gets "hot and heavy" with Bradley Cooper. A Kourtney Kardashian wedding is "imminent." Kristin Cavallari gets re-engaged. Do as Thursday gossip says, not as it did in the '90s.

Kris Humphries' stunning pattern of gas-passing is revealed. Jennifer Lopez and her boytoy escape to Hawaii. And Prince Harry is still partying out west. Saturday gossip rode Revenge of the Mummy, twice.

Scotty McCreery misses his cue. Brad Pitt wasn't always a tragically overweight, dumpy-looking urchin with a comb-over. Kim Kardashian exposes herself to The Poors and learns the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Today's Gossip Roundup is sitting on the couch with some turkeys, playing video games and eating pumpkin pie topped with mashed potatoes instead of Cool Whip.

J.Lo was getting dirty in public with her new 20-something boytoy. Oscar de la Hoya likes it in the butt. Bethenny Frankel's cocktail may not be as pure as she thinks. Robert Wagner thought Natalie Wood was messing around the night she died. Monday's gossip lost its virginity a long time ago.

J. Lo's new boy toy never wears his shirt. Justin Timberlake keeps his promise to a marine. Zoe Saldana is single. Sunday gossip is in a "bromance."