A Chicago woman was stalking a priest because god "told her" to marry him. Chicago is the new Florida.

Last week, voters in Maryland, Maine and Washington state voted for marriage equality and the gays rejoiced! After all, this was the first time that gay marriage had been approved by popular vote. But just like at the end of The Avengers, there's another villan hiding in a distant galaxy, in this case, it's Europe.

Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini, the former archbishop of Milan, died Friday — but not before giving a final interview in which he condemned the Catholic Church for not getting with the times.

Police in Woodburn, Oregon, say a local parish priest molested a 12-year-old boy and then chased after him in his underwear when the preteen escaped.

A Kansas City grand jury has indicted Robert Finn (pictured, at right), the city's Roman Catholic bishop, for failing to report suspected sexual abuse of a child by a priest in his district. "The indictment is the first ever of a Catholic bishop in the 25 years since the scandal over sexual abuse by priests first became public in the United States." Well, I guess we can put that behind us.

Reporter Brandon K. Thorp explains how his investigation into the "lavender mob" running the Catholic Archdiocese of Miami —published here earlier today—came to be, and why the existence of a lively and hidden gay subculture within an institution devoted in part to demonizing homosexuals is an untenable and corrosive hypocrisy.

John C. Favalora is a sallow old man who looks like the corpse of Dom DeLuise. He likes attractive young men to sit on his lap and allegedly treats them to trips in the Florida Keys. He was, until recently, part owner of a company that makes "all natural" boner-inducing beverages. He's also the Archbishop Emeritus of Miami.

The Vatican is teaming up with the Discovery Channel to create a show called The Exorcist Files based on historical Catholic exorcisms. That's just great. The church won't talk about priests abusing kids, but they'll talk about freeing demons.

There's never a shortage of people around the world claiming they've seen apparitions of Jesus and the Virgin Mary. But did you know that for a brief time in 1859, Mary hung out in Wisconsin? Well, it's true.

Police have arrested a man in connection with the May beating that sent 65-year-old retired Jesuit priest Jerold Lindner to the hospital—and the suspect, it turns out, is an alleged victim of abuse at the hands of Lindner.

Italian ice cream maker Antonio Federici has been ordered by Britain's Advertising Standards Authority to stop running an ad featuring two "sexualized" priests about to kiss "passionately." Last month the company ran ads featuring a pregnant nun (also banned).

In a lame attempt at being "cool," the Vatican's official newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano yesterday wrote, "Few people know it, and he does everything he can to hide it, but it is true: Homer J Simpson is a Catholic." Uh, ok.

Pope Benedict is heading to Britain next month! For the Pope's big blowout parties in Hyde Park and Cofton Park, the Catholic church issued a list of banned items: barbecues, booze, tween boys, animals, and musical instruments. Some party! [Guardian]

Using a hidden camera, an Italian magazine owned by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi caught three Catholic priests inside a gay nightclub and having sex inside a church building. The local diocese is now calling on gay priests to come out.

An Austrian Catholic priest got into trouble with the Vienna archdiocese this week after he listed his church's confessional on eBay. The listing said it could be used as a "one-person sauna, a small bar or a children's playhouse."

Pope Benedict, speaking to a crowd in Sulmona, Italy praised the 13th Century pontiff Celestine V, and was greeted by the faithful during "this time of harsh attacks and media provocation." The poor Pope just can't escape this unjustified persecution.

Shocker: An Australian Catholic priest today was sentenced to 20 years in jail for molesting 25 children between 1968 and 1986. In court he called himself a "mere scumbag paedophile." The same could be said for much of the Vatican.

Back in 2001, future Pope Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger—then the head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith—was given sweeping authority to handle church abuse cases. But, uh, he had that power all along—and didn't use it.

The US Supreme Court yesterday refused to hear an appeal from the Vatican regarding a child sex abuse case the Holy See claims is a publicity stunt. The Vatican's defense is that touchy feely priests are not its employees. [AP]

Belgian police on Thursday raided Catholic church offices in Brussels searching for evidence of child sex abuse by priests. The Vatican called it a "shock," because priests only answer to a Higher Authority. The laws of mortals do not apply.