Fred Durst (Wikipedia entry "career" section: 181 words; "controversy" section: 1370 words) will produce and star in a sitcom for CBS about a "rock legend" raising a family. Working title: Douchebag. (Seriously.) Ashton. Durst. Who's next? Joe Francis? [Deadline]

A white powder—determined to be harmless—was discovered in an envelope addressed to Dancing With the Stars. Look, we all had to see the nipple, okay? But most of us handled it maturely and appropriately. By tweeting "groooosssssssssssss."

We criticized Details magazine for letting "editor" Ashton Kutcher turn it into a huge brochure for Kutcher's investments. But the actor doesn't always get a free pass from the media: After seeing this shamelessly self promotional laptop in Two And A Half Men, CBS producers banished it from the show.

Momentously eyebrowed useless old crank Andy Rooney has finally said enough. Just a day after CBS announced that the befuddled nonagenarian would return to his slot on 60 Minutes next week, they're announcing that next week will be Rooney's last appearance on the show. He's been there since 1978. About fucking time.

Last night was the second episode of Ashton Kutcher's run on Two and a Half Men, and while it was down from last week's boffo debut, it wasn't down that much.

So 28 million people watched Ashton Kutcher's debut on Two and a Half Men last night, and I was one of those people. And boy was it a harrowing experience.

I'll admit, I tuned into CBS' new comedy 2 Broke Girls last night with much trepidation. Here is a show about two mismatched waitresses in a Williamsburg Diner—on CBS. It had the potential to do everything wrong. Surprisingly I was won over, but it's still doing everything wrong.

We haven't seen much of Charlie Sheen since earlier this year—when we didn't see much that wasn't Charlie Sheen—but the former Two and a Half Men star stopped by The Tonight Show on Thursday ahead of next Monday's airing of his Comedy Central roast.

Is Steve Jobs dead? A lot of people on Twitter think so after the CBS web series "What's Trending" briefly tweeted that there were "reports" that Steve Jobs had died. They deleted their tweet about a minute after, but not before many of their 11,000 followers freaked out, sending the Steve Jobs death rumor shooting through Twitter.

The days will soon get shorter, the weather will get colder, and you'll soon have actual things to do at your job now. The end of summer sucks, doesn't it? But at least there's going to be all sorts of new stuff on television! Let's look at everything that will give us a glimmer of hope this fall.

Not 24 hours after David Letterman delivered a jittery Top 10 devoted to jihadist death threats did Craig Ferguson, host of the lead-out show he produces, The Late Late Show, receive a "threatening" letter containing white powder. Two staffers at CBS Television City who came into contact with the substance were held in isolation, but were released after a hazardous materials team screened it and found it to be benign. Both the FBI and LAPD are currently investigating the letter, saying only that it originated in Europe.

David Letterman returned to the Late Show on Monday, his first broadcast since word got out that a jihadist had marked him for death and demanded his tongue be cut out over a nonsensical joke about Sarah Palin.

Scott Wolf's girlfriend is getting into the escort scene. Also today: Game of Thrones casting news, a terrible idea for a remake, and Kevin Bacon has a face for radio and TV.

GLAAD, the spayed and neutered gay media watchdog, released its annual Network Responsibility Index, which charts the gay content of television networks. Guess what they found? The highest percentage of programming with gay and lesbian characters is targeted at young audiences.

After a drive-by shooting involving two teens, Chicago CBS affiliate WBBM interviewed a few preschool-aged criminologists who happened to witness the incident—including a four-year-old boy who had some pretty "scary" things to say completely misrepresent!

CBS has released a new poster teasing the revamped, Ashton Kutcher-packed season of Two and a Half Men, and there's something unpleasant about it. All the nakedness, perhaps?

In your finally Friday media column: Rupert Murdoch apologizes, Andrew Ross Sorkin gets a TV gig, the AP stylebook is wrong, Google encourages you to read, and Bob Schieffer is still among the living.

Yesterday came a rumor that Charlie Sheen, already fired from his hit sitcom Two and a Half Men for being Charlie Sheen, will have his character killed-off, off screen, at the beginning of next season. Interesting! How should Charlie Harper perish?

This morning, the anchors of the Early Show were caught off guard when the show accidentally cut to two men doing something.

Katie Couric is gone for good! The Scott Pelley era at CBS has begun! Try to control your excitement, ha. But hey, Pelley debuted last night, and signs are somewhat promising!