Even the stripper-obsessed can find love! "[Drew] Carey, the new host of The Price Is Right, got engaged to Nicole Jaracz, a recent graduate of culinary school, on Tuesday, said his spokeswoman, Christina Papadopoulos." We wish the couple a strong marriage, and an even stronger prenup—otherwise Carey's looking at paying out in powers of ten for every year they manage to make it last. [cnn.com]
As much as we'd like to see our favorite celebrity marriages succeed, the sad truth is that the majority of romantic unions featuring one or more paparazzi-targets will end in crushing disappointment, as the two slowly come to realize that the disparity in their per-picture asking prices has wedged a permanent rift between them. Still, like so many other blatantly obvious yet unspoken Hollywood truths, that fact is never actually addressed. Instead, we get familiar clichés like "irreconcilable differences," and publicist mainstay, "the two remain great friends"—all of which makes the former Mr. Uma Thurman's candidness on the subject at a recently taped episode of Shootout all the more refreshing:
TMZ.com has scored a major find in the Anna Nicole Smith three-ring tragedy circus: A sworn declaration by a woman named Laurie Payne, who befriended Smith in 2005 in the Florida Keys when they were introduced through a common acquaintance, Smith's friend-with-benefits G. Ben Thompson, a real estate developer from South Carolina. The declaration contains several bombshell revelations, among them that Larry Birkhead is indeed the father of Dannielynn, and that Payne had witnessed Smith take "a rather high dose" of Xanax, in addition to having herself "personally administered" Anna Nicole pills from a bottle unsubtly marked "Methadone" during the pregnancy. An e-mail allegedly sent from Smith to Payne also came attached to the declaration:
The Us Weeky blog has further details regarding Larry Birkhead's lawsuit against Anna Nicole. Birkhead isn't just claiming paternity—he wants full legal custody of the child, as he alleges that Howard K. Stern is enabling Smith's methadone addiction (the fatal key ingredient in her son's death), and that the reason she delivered in the Bahamas was to avoid tests that would reveal the baby had methadone in her system as well:
Call them Vaughniffer, call them Vaughniston, call them Brangelina, But Not Nearly As Hot And Without All The Charity Crap, call them Hey, Brad, I Can Fuck My Co-Star Too! Brad? Brad?!, call them whatever. Us Weekly is reporting that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston are engaged (shouldn't the Jen Says Yes line go below the VINCE PROPOSES! line? Where's our spoiler alert?) after a year of conveniently timed courtship occasionally marked by the suspiciously public performance of pantomime of sex airplanes and sessions of man-on-man cardio work. The Us blog mentions that Vaughn proposed on the private jet ride on the way back from Joe Francis' Mexican resort—nothing solidifies a relationship like nine glorious days at the Compound That Drunken, Jailbait Titties Built—and that "Vince almost cries whenever he tells the story of the proposal," an egregiously emasculating statement for which his publicist should immediately be fired.
As Nicole Kidman's attends to the final cloak-and-dagger preparations for her quickly approaching wedding day, her Cold Mountain co-star and confidante Renee Zellweger has been doing everything she can to dissuade Kidman from making the same, pretty-boy-in-a-cowboy-hat-espousing mistakes she made, says website FemaleFirst.
