Last week, the editorial offices of French satire magazine Charlie Hebdo were firebombed after the release of an issue "guest edited" by Muhammed. ("100 lashes if you don't die of laughter!" said the cartoon Muhammed on the cover.)

The Paris editorial offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French weekly satirical magazine along the lines of the Onion, were firebombed this morning after publication of an issue "guest edited" by the prophet Muhammed. Someone must not have gotten the joke.

Anonymous appears to be gathering steam for an attack to "destroy" Fox News on November 5th, for its propaganda against the Occupy Wall Street protest. As awful as Fox News is, this is a very dumb idea.

The Casa Monica Hotel in St. Augustine, Florida flies a big American flag out front so that people will regard it as a patriot-friendly lodging establishment. Sadly, that fluttering piece of fabric will probably disappear soon, because the hotel's new management hates American flags. Hates!

Community college student Marc Bechtol says he was pulled out of class and then banned from campus all because he disparaged his school's stupid branded debit cards on his Facebook. Marc Bechtol deserves a failing grade in Campus Brand Ambassadorship 101, otherwise known as An Introduction to Selling Out.

Surrendering to widespread outrage, Google has pulled the Android app "Is My Son Gay?" from its online store, single-handedly making the world safe for gay teens. Yay censorship!

America's public schools are mini Egypts, with their internet heavily censored by repressive dictators (The Administration.) But students and teachers have had enough! Give them Facebook or give them death!

The campus police at the University of Wisconsin-Stout deserve praise, bravery medals, and $100 gift certificates to their favorite steakhouse for ripping down theater professor James Miller's Firefly poster before it could murder any students. Oh wait—not praise and etc., but ridicule.

Chinese censors have suspended Super Girl, their nation's answer to American Idol, because the show's audience-voting feature was too Western and democratic for their Communist tastes. The hard-to-please, no-fun bunch also didn't like the show's potential to offend the Olds, its "vulgar" hosts, the songs, the dances, or the outfits people wore.

Actor Alec Baldwin was so incensed that Fox cut his joke about News Corp CEO Rupert Murdoch from tonight's Emmy Awards coverage that he's not showing up for tonight's ceremony at all. Fox's editorial decision made his bit not-funny, Baldwin says.

A Nebraska Cannabis Coalition activist who was attending Willie Nelson's concert at the Nebraska State Fair was told by state troopers that she couldn't wear her "Don't Panic, It's Organic" t-shirt because of a vague "fair policy" that doesn't even prohibit pot-themed t-shirts. Or pot-themed musicians, apparently!

Now that Wikileaks has been forced by circumstance to release the full, unredacted archive of its 250,000-plus classified diplomatic cables, we can see what the New York Times voluntarily redacted, at the request of the State Department, from the cables that it published. Among the things it hid: Muammar Qaddafi has a bisexual son, and a Reuters correspondent is a source for State Department intelligence.

Joe Biden is currently touring China, where his speeches are so long and boring, they are literally inciting violence. Or, so says the Chinese government, which has been trying to shove reporters out the door every time Biden calls for "openness and candor" in Chinese-American relations:

San Francisco subway system BART thought that cutting off cell phone signals last week would help it avoid trouble with protesters. Instead, it re-inflamed demonstrations and brought in the feds to boot.

It's not just the London police and Middle East dictators who try to curb unrest by clamping down on communications networks. According to reports, police in San Francisco are jamming cell phones to head off protesters.

Facebook's absurdly prude content standards sparked another twisted saga this week when the company censored, then promptly un-censored, the iconic cover of Nirvana's Nevermind. Facebook welcomes all your (non-sexual) baby penises!

Given that legendary country and western singer Dolly Parton's a vocal supporter of gay marriage, you might think that gays who visit her theme park in Tennessee would be welcomed with open arms. Not so, as one lesbian couple recently experienced.

In the Real-American stronghold of South Carolina, of all places, a 65-year-old woman has been accused of violating the state obscenity law by hanging a pair of Truck Nutz plastic testicles from the back of her pickup truck. What's next, a ban on the American flag?

One reason for Google Plus' explosive growth is its seamless integration into the other Google services everyone already relies on. But this might be its biggest downfall, too: If you screw up on Google Plus, you risk all your precious Google stuff being deleted forever.

If you felt a disturbance in the internet this morning, it was probably because Lady Gaga's YouTube account was briefly shut down due to copyright issues. It had something to do with her posting a clip from the Japanese TV show Smap x Smap? Anyway, she's back, so her "little monsters" can go back into their caves.