Here's what Grape Nuts is, really: wheat, barley, yeast, water. Here's what Grape Nuts is not: everything they told you it was.

60 Minutes caught golden Mer-man Michael Phelps with a box of General Mills' Honey Nut Cheerios—even though Phelps endorses rival Kellogg's! In his defense: that little bee is quite charismatic. [Ad Age]

The advertising industry's annual self-congratulation festival, the Clio Awards, just wrapped up in Miami. The superbrilliant "Grand Clio" award for integrated campaigns went to a series of ads for Shreddies, a cereal in Canada. The grand idea? They turned the square Shreddies 45 degrees, called them "Diamond Shreddies," then filmed focus groups of people ranking the "new" product. Heh. I can dig it! If you're going to try to sell the same old cereal, at least acknowledge that the entire affair is a big farce. Below, two clips from the campaign. And a rant from one clever YouTube user (of many) who picked up on a scandal: Diamond Shreddies are the same as regular Shreddies!!!

Are you someone who's been frustrated with your inability to display your affection for Kellogg's-brand cereal through the medium of "urban" fashion? Well your problems are solved, my friend. Because "Under The Hood," a hot new clothing line, is here to fill all your Kellogg's-brand cereal fashion needs—with a comically played-out hip hop edge! Behold the flavor overload of Froot Loops track jackets, Honey Smacks "Dig 'Em" jeans, and some of the most embarrassed models in the world:

Back in the 1930s and 40s, Kellogg's cereal was a steamroller. It didn't have all types of boutique designer cereals to compete against, so you were damn well going to eat it. And Kellogg's wasn't shy in positioning itself. It's not just something you consume; its products will cure constipation, calm your nerves, and give your man the PEP he needs to do you all night long, baby. Not to mention: single-serving Kellogg's boxes defeated Hitler. All that, and a 13-year-old girl in—I'm sorry—ugly clothes, after the jump.

From the mailbag, more about fun times in the Googleplex: "I'm a former Googler. That place fucking sucks. All the women are scary-ass clones. I was treated like a pariah because I didn't wear four inches of makeup and commute to work in flip-flops. The corporate culture is one of the most bureaucratic and uptight I've ever experienced. Don't buy the lie! Those fun-loving hippies are more corporate than Smith-Barney. P.S: People used to eat out of the cereal bins bare-handed. Gross."