NEW YORK - Wall Street is roundly rejecting news out of General Mills (GIS) indicating that it will roll out “Tiny Toast,” its first new cereal product in 15 years, later this month. The cereal bowl shockwave could have destabilizing effects throughout the global breakfast economy.
Late at night, you may sometimes find yourself being tugged in two directions by the small and insistent hole growing in your stomach. Maybe you want a sweet treat before you lay your head down to sleep. But maybe you want something more substantial—not just the goodnight kiss of a morsel of chocolate, but what Taco Bell has accurately termed/branded the “fourth meal.” Thankfully for us all, I recently discovered a solution.
If you have always wanted to have a confusing four word conversation with Jay-Z while he laughs at you, now is your chance: He is currently responding to fans on Twitter. And laughing at them a lot, via the hashtag #mylaugh. The vibe is kind of weird. Sort of like if you and Jay-Z ran into one another at the grocery store and didn't really have anything to say to one another, but still wanted to talk.
So, says here that Lucky Charms' new advertisement is targeting not children, but "adults who as kids grew up with Lucky the Leprechaun and are apparently running back to him in search of some feel-good nostalgia." I guess the General Mills™ corporation just likes throwing away money these days, because all of the adults I know have been eating Lucky Charms this whole time.
Don't let anyone tell you what isn't art. But I'll tell you what this art is: delicious. Ernie Button is a Phoenix-based photographer who has been thinking way too much about his breakfast table recently. He's constructed landscapes, both natural and manmade, using Arizona backdrops and cereal foregrounds. And he's named it Cerealism, a term which is so obvious it doubles back to being clever.
Have you noticed that all your Frosted Mini Wheats have been tasting really rusty lately and that any time you eat a bowl your tongue gets sliced to ribbons and your mouth fills up with blood? Nothing new there but, in an odd coincidence, the Kellogg Company has issued a voluntary recall of 2.8 million boxes of frosted and unfrosted Mini-Wheats, due to "the possible presence of fragments of flexible metal mesh from a faulty manufacturing plant" in the cereal.
Sugar cereal! Plan B! Nocturnal diabetes! Elderly presidents! Breast cancer! Parkinson's dancing! Bedbug breeding! Marathon hearts! And America's most and least healthy states, revealed! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—grrrrreatly!
Whether you're a child, an adult desperately trying to cling to the bygone symbols of childhood, or simply have a poorly developed palate, the fact is, you love Cap'n Crunch™ brand breakfast cereal, despite all of the good reasons not too. Well, good news, corn syrup fetishists: contrary to published reports, your beloved cartoon-clad corn byproduct nuggets are not disappearing.
These futuristic cereal boxes use metallic-ink-based circuitry to light up and animate the packaging. They can even communicate with nearby hand-held devices to let stores know if the cereal has been expired. If these don't get your attention nothing will.
Nothing like waking up to a horrible smell that makes you barf in the morning. Kellogg's has recalled 28 million boxes of Apple Jacks, Corn Pops, Froot Loops and Honey Smacks because they stink.
Charming ad in today's NYT: a 100 year-old Times front page, with a Corn Flakes ad at the bottom. 'Statue of Purity For Times Square,' says one typically laughable old-timey headline. How unlikely!
