We know that Chelsea Clinton's wedding is in Rhineback New York at Astor Courts. But how much will it cost? Politics Daily has a ludicrously detailed article on the subject, but here's all you need to know.

You weren't invited to Chelsea Clinton's wedding. But don't feel bad: Neither was this guy—and he lent the Clintons his fucking airplane. But when you're Bill Clinton, borrowing a private jet is like borrowing a sack of flour.

Today we looked at a curious mystery: how did this enormous airplane end up in Brooklyn? The mystery didn't last long, though! One commenter figured it out.

Two Norwegian journalists were arrested yesterday for photographing the presumed site of Chelsea Clinton's nuptials. Police are now "working with the U.S. Secret Service" to secure Rhinebeck's Astor Estate which means—OMG!—the wedding's almost definitely happening there, after all.

[Hillary Clinton is speechless when presented with this gemstone mosaic of her and daughter Chelsea by Vietnamese Foreign Minister Pham Gia Khiem in Hanoi today. Along with a tablecloth, it was the country's wedding present to Chelsea. Image via AP]

"News You Can't Use" is pretty consistently the funniest segment on Morning Joe: hosts and guests alike take a break from political commentary and make fun of each other and, on good days, Rod Blagojevich.

Oprah and Obama aren't going to Chelsea's wedding—they weren't even invited. Is the location an elaborate ruse? Could Bristol Palin be trying to upstage her? A guide to the most perplexing wedding of the century.

Snippets of the guest list to 2010's biggest Democratic fundraiser, "Chelsea Clinton's wedding," have been released, and it looks like DNC operatives were able to squeeze in Barack Obama. And Oprah! Who else snagged an invite to this hoity-toity shakedown?

Lindsay's "fuck u" manicure was "a joke," but her Cato Institute-quoting tweets aren't. New Mel Gibson tapes apparently show him telling Oksana she "deserved" physical abuse. Ryan Seacrest's beard commits—with sexy photos? Thursday gossip speaks truth to power.

It's true. A waitress done up and punched her in the face. At least she's not Kristen Stewart, who fears her fans will kill her. Or at least she's not anyone else featured in this Friday gossip splooge.

Chelsea Clinton's wedding this summer won't have much to do with Chelsea Clinton—it'll just be a Democratic fundraiser for major donors. We'd say "poor Chelsea," but she's probably known her wedding would be like this since elementary school.

Daily Profile: Chelsea Clinton

Who: The only daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton, the former White House resident lives in New York these days where she attends Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health.

Larry King plans to fight his wife in court. Charlie Sheen's wife moves out. Kiefer Sutherland is ejected from a strip club. Kim Kardashian has a new boyfriend. Ricky Martin may make a porn. Friday's gossip readies for date night.

• Lots of celebs turned out for the Super Bowl in Miami. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were there (and were spotted "kissing, hugging and laughing," so if you were worried that they'd broken up, you can rest easy). Also on hand was Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (who were chased by photographers), Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, and John Travolta, who couldn't even be bothered to stay for the entire game. [DM, The Sun, Popeater]

• Is the cast of Jersey Shore getting a little overexposed? Just a little! MTV is now looking to clamp down on their efforts to "pimp themselves" at bars and colleges around the country and has informed them that they're each limited to two appearances a week and need permission from the network before accepting any gigs. [P6, NYDN]

• In other Jersey Shore news, Jenni "JWoww" Farley is planning to "enhance" her ginormous fake boobs "as soon as possible to be ready for the new season," you'll be pleased to hear. [P6]

Chelsea Clinton's gone to Haiti to sweat under the Caribbean sun and assist victims of the devastating earthquake? No, but she did host a spin class last night that doubled as a benefit, raising $66,810 from the likes of Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, who pedaled alongside the former first daughter at the event. Try and multi-task like that, George Clooney. [People]

John Krasinski and Emily Blunt hailing a cab around in Chelsea ... Cynthia Nixon running a few errands over the weekend ... Kate Hudson leaving her townhouse with her son Ryder and later walking with a cup of coffee in hand ... Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson leaving Bubby's on Hudson Street after brunch ... Chelsea Clinton leaving the Time Warner Center on Sunday afternoon ... Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell walking in Midtown ... Cate Blanchett hailing a cab with her two sons ... Ed Westwick shooting scenes for Gossip Girl on the Upper East Side and later going to lunch with Jessica Szohr ... Ben Roethlisberger getting into a car outside the Mandarin Oriental Hotel ... and John Mayer leaving dinner at Nobu.

• Tiger Woods released a statement this morning: "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. [TMZ]
• One thing that may have pushed Tiger to finally issue the apology: While Rachel Uchitel didn't want to cop to hooking up with Woods, two other women turned up to take her place yesterday. A 24-year-old waitress named Jaimee Grubbs appeared with tawdry text messages from Woods to back up her story. (Sample: "I will wear you out!") And a Vegas club manager came out to say she's been having an affair with him "for some time." [Us, NYP, NYDN]
• Tiger won't face criminal charges for crashing his SUV outside his Florida home. He's getting a traffic ticket and may pay a $164 fine. [Us]
• Bill Clinton is pumped his daughter Chelsea is marrying investment banker Marc Mezvinsky because, Bill says, Marc is a "great human being." Not only that, but when Hillary is traveling, Chelsea and Marc take pity on poor old Bill and take him to dinner and the movies. [People]
• Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich just bought a $90 million estate in St. Barts and now everyone is expecting him to throw the "It" Christmas party of the year. No word on whether the Salahis were invited. Not that the lack of an invite will stop them from attending anyway, of course. [P6]

Every political reporter in the nation was so consumed by one ridiculous non-story over the holiday weekend that they missed the biggest ridiculous non-story of the month: Chelsea Clinton is engaged!

Remember all those rumors that Chelsea Clinton was going to marry her longtime boyfriend, Marc Mezvinsky, in Martha's Vineyard this past summer? That never happened, of course, but the couple is now officially one step closer to tying the knot. Clinton and Mezvinsky sent out an email on Friday to announce they're engaged. [ABC News]