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Suspended NBC correspondent David Shuster is just the latest in a long line of people to regret ever bringing up Chelsea Clinton, who has long been something of a third rail in American politics and media. The press was sufficiently skittish about her under Bill Clinton's presidency that they by and large observed requests from the First Family to leave Chelsea alone during her time as a student at Stanford University. Even though contemporary Chelsea has stepped up her involvement in her Mom's presidential campaign, she apparently must be treated delicately in the political scrum, if the Shuster incident is any guide. After the jump, a surely incomplete list of people who wish they had never mentioned Chelsea Clinton. Learn from it and avoid their fate.

David Schuster, an NBC News correspondent whom no one on Earth had ever cared about before today, has just been suspended for announcing that it was "weird" how the Clintons "pimped out Chelsea" when they made her call all those superdelegates and those ladies from The View. Chris Matthews, Tucker Carlson, and even lovable old Pat Robertson will still appear on the network regularly. [Media Matters]

Big news on today's View. First: Joy threw a Super Tuesday party and everyone but Elisabeth showed up. Also: Chelsea Clinton personally called all of them (except Elisabeth) to ask that they please vote for her mother. And they all did, and then they talked about it on The View. Even Sherri! Jesus. Did anyone call Tyra? The Daytime Lady Primary wasn't lost with Oprah! [Jezebel]

The daughter of Bill and Hillary, the former White House resident now lives in New York where she attends work as a correspondent for NBC news and is pursuing her doctoral degree at NYU's Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service.

Last night, Chelsea Clinton was observed in a state of extreme inebriation at a bar on 2nd Ave and 2nd Street called, cleverly enough, "2nd on 2nd." This is a Karaoke bar. Time was after midnight, but before 1:00 am. She was being propped up against a wall by two friends, without whom she would have slumped to the floor. Her hair was "up." She was eventually escorted out of the bar by her friends, a guy and a girl. Seriously, how often does anyone see Chelsea Clinton anywhere (ed: quite, actually), much less wasted? Turned out to be a double dipper, because Tom Green was there as well. He sung a few songs on Karaoke. None of us can remember which. He was wearing a beard.

In this under-the-wire edition of the Stalk: Chelsea Clinton A and Chelsea Clinton B, Tom Green, Kate Bosworth, Rudy Giuliani, Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham, Alan Alda and Josh Hartnett, Will Smith, Mariska Hargitay, Kareem Abdul Jabaar, Ivanka Trump, Gretchen Mol, Bob Balaban, Jorge Posada, Jerry Stiller, Paulina Porzikova, George Hamilton, and, keeping Mike Meyers out of the basement, Ricky Martin in Brooklyn.

• A reader emails us that her friend who works at the Daily Show suggested sending us the sign above because it was just so funny. Wow, working at Comedy Central must be really depressing.
  

• Hip-Hop mogul Damon Dash keeps the area around 89th Street and Central Park West safe for his son, whose cell phone was stolen by local "thugs." Next up, Dash will work on eliminating gang activity outside Dylan's Candy Store. [Page Six]
• Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt settle the details of their divorce: He gets the production company, she gets the house and the bloated alcoholic. [IMDb]
• Model Molly Simms is reportedly unhappy with her picture in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As it turns out, most women don't enjoy looking like Vegas hookers. [Gatecrasher]
• Rapper Eve falls for Teodorin Nguema Obiang, the son of Equitorial Guinea dictator Teodoro Nguema. Spending Christmas on Paul Allen's yacht, however, makes it easy for to Eve to forget that whole torture situation. [R&M]
• Because he knows how to read, Henry Rollins is a threat to Australian national security. [Page Six]
• Chelsea Clinton lays low with her new boyfriend, Goldman Sachs banker Marc Mezvinsky. Not that we were particularly intrigued by the whole situation. [Lowdown]

More reader "corrections/appendices to rumors":

A Chicago Tribune writer explains why Chelsea Clinton has a special place in her heart: "She had every excuse in the book to rebel: Stuck in the limelight at an early, awkward age; incessant teasing from powerful people; private-school friends with money to burn; a father with a penchant for women close to her age. Instead, she took it all in stride...I envision the Bush girls graduating from college and becoming bartenders at Coyote Ugly. They remind me of the girls who did sail through adolescence with smooth skin and well-behaved hair, the ones elected to homecoming court. When they were staying after school for pompom practice, the Chelseas of the world were staying after for Latin Club. I love it that it paid off."
Chelsea Clinton: you gotta love her [Chicago Tribune via Obscure Store]

"Handbag designer" Monica Lewinsky will soon be hosting a reality TV show wherein "a female contestant is courted by men whose looks are kept hidden," and "the men 'must rely strictly on their personalities to captivate' the woman." (Novel idea, this dating-based-on-personality concept!) UPDATE: A reader points out that the show is based in California and suggests that this may be an elaborate ruse to get Monica out of New York before Chelsea Clinton gets here.
Lewinsky to host reality TV dating show [AP via Fark]

· Playboy TV is filming bondage aerobics babe Mistress Victoria's "Slavercise!" class at Manitoba's on Avenue B tonight, followed by a performance by the Sex Slaves band. [Page Six]
· Hours author, Michael Cunningham: "I'm probably the only author in America who loves what the movies did for his book." [Page Six]
· Al Pacino on Robert De Niro's recent movie choices: "I think he needs cash." [Cindy Adams]
· Overheard in Jaded, a jewelry boutique in the '80s: "I finally knew the economy was really in bad shape when Tiffany began selling colored beads." [Cindy Adams]
· No wire hangers, EVER!: Penelope Cruz collects coat hangers and owns 500 of different types. [Liz Smith]
· Chelsea Clinton's final job offer: $120,000 with a $10,000 signing bonus. [Liz Smith]
· Cuba Gooding, Jr. spotted Sunday, standing outside a downtown club, pretending to be a doorman and telling people to move away. [NY Daily News]

· Design team Gaelyn & Cianfarani, who are doing a "cruelty-free" fashion show for PETA, got their start making black leather fetish outfits. [Page Six]
· Moby and painter pal Damian Loeb aren't speaking after Moby refused to lend Loeb money to fix up his Soho loft. [Page Six]
· Chelsea Clinton spotted playing pool and eating nachos with The Bachelorette reject who got busted for drugs at JFK. [Page Six]
· Yoko Ono's birthday invite reads: "Clothing optional. Chanel No. 5 optional. Bring your heart and high heels; sunglasses optional. Guests will be expected to wear the sky on their sleeves. Clouds optional." [Cindy Adams]
· Sean "P. Diddy" Combs on the significance of his military-themed clothing: "I would never use my show for a political statement about war or peace, but I'm strictly peace...[the military-looking jackets were meant to convey] "a warrior-type of vibe, telling people we need to look internally." [NY Daily News]

Per this morning's Page Six item reporting that Chelsea Clinton has been offered a job at "McKinney": (That's McKinsey. M-C-K-I-N-S-E-Y.) A spy reports that during the recruitment workshop, Chelsea's effort at teamwork consisted of forming a team with her boyfriend, Ian Klaus, and the partner in charge of the presentation.

· Courtney Love calls fashion houses around the world in the wee hours of Friday morning demanding "perfect clothes" for Elton John's upcoming benefit for the Old Vic theater. [Page Six]
· Ted Turner officially moves to Florida. [Page Six]
· Page Six says Chelsea Clinton has been offered a job with "McKinney, the powerhouse consulting firm." Note to Page Six: that's McKinsey. [Page Six]
· Conde Nast employees, fascinated with the intricate workings of the Metrocard system, take public transportation. Juuuuuust kidding. [Page Six]
· Playwright Larry Myers is penning a play about the Raelians. [Page Six]
· Cindy Adams handicaps the BAFTAs; says Chicago will win. [Cindy Adams]
· Lara Flynn Boyle's tutu at the Golden Globes was an inside joke, as Jack Nicholson's other woman was a dancer, albeit "hardly the kind that trains at Juilliard." Rapper 50 Cent on Mariah Carey: ""I wanted to hit that...[Eminem] said he was finished [with her] so ... I just thought he was gonna hook me up." Bernie Goetz wants to build "squirrel houses" in New York. [NY Daily News]