You, the American soda consumer, should be aware that your precious swill contains a chemical called 4-MeI, which has the unfortunate side effect of giving humans cancer. How many of you will get a deadly disease as a direct result of this chemical? Consumer Reports kindly figured out the answer.

Studies in rats now show that that exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals can have negative effects on three successive generations, so you better hope that your great-grandma didn't brush with Colgate.

For nearly two weeks, authorities have scurried to deal with the toxic spill of a coal-cleaning chemical that's left 300,000 West Virginians without tap water. But the company running the spill site shocked officials yesterday by disclosing that the spill included a second, little-known chemical.

State inspectors say that Freedom Industries, the chemical company that poisoned the water supply of 300,000 West Virginians last week, has been improperly storing the same chemicals at a second site.

You, the consumer, demand that every artificially hydrogenated preservative-laced concoction that you consume be sweet as a honeybee's tits. You, the consumer, also demand that your sweet nectar be free of "calories," nature's survival mechanism. You, the consumer, have found a new fake sugar to love!

An explosion at a chemical plant in Louisiana this morning has injured many—though no reports of fatalities as of yet. Hazmat units are attending to the accident at Williams Olefins Chemical Plant in Geismar, Louisiana. The plant churns out 1.3 billion pounds of ethylene and 90 million pounds of propylene per year. The industrial area is a little over 50 miles northwest from New Orleans, 30 miles southeast of Baton Rouge.

In an effort to simplify your morning routine, the inventors at Colgate-Palmolive have filed a patent for technology for regular toothbrushes containing chemicals that would slowly be released into your mouth as you brushed.

This headline, like many good things in this world, is perhaps an exaggerated simplification of a scientific topic, yes, but an exaggerated simplification rooted in the latest research. A new NIH study found that PCBs—"mostly banned" chemicals with industrial uses—are linked to fertility problems, causing women to take longer to get pregnant. And how do you get PCBs in you? The WSJ explains:

Sure, you like drinking canned Diet Pepsi that was prepared who knows when from who knows what and shipped who knows how far who knows how long ago. But sometimes your Diet Pepsi gets that... not so fresh flavor. It's almost as if there's something—what's the word I'm looking for?—natural in there.

Californians are ready to claw someone's eyes out after a report from state's Department of Toxic Substances Control (DTSC) found that several nail polishes billing themselves as "toxic free," were, in fact, toxic times three: they contained formaldehyde, toluene and dibutyl phthalate (DBP), also known as the "toxic trio" of chemicals.

Chimp research! Bird safety! Nemo extinction! Raptor claws! Rat acid! Alkali oceans! Lemur meat! Dolphin jetpack! And real talk words of wisdom about our current chemistry debates! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—with compassion!

Pepper spray has become the Kim Kardashian of chemical agents: Irritating to mostly everyone who encounters it, it has nevertheless become ubiquitous in the press due to its omnipresence in real life. And just like Kim (and her clan), its overuse has even inspired an online opposition movement.

Fatty foods, new research indicates, have affect your brain in a similar way to marijuana, activating brain chemcials called endocannabinoids that "produce a drug-like feeling." This feeling—like marijuana!—then encourages you to eat more fatty foods, of course.

Eye disease! Springtime anorexia! Food pathogens! Coca-Cola chemicals! Chinese smoking! Tall blood clots! Botox lawsuits! Teen drinking! And legal stem cell research, yeah! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while smoking!

Windex manufacturer S.C. Johnson pledges to disclose all product ingredients by 2012. Is it more than "turpentine and poison?" Huh.

Dr. Tyrone Hayes is a biologist at UC Berkeley and a longtime critic of atrazine, an herbicide produced by the chemical company Syngenta. He took the bold step of sending lots of taunting, rap-quoting emails to the company. Scandal ensued.

If you're like me, you may have just *assumed* that if a chemical is being manufactured in large quantities and placed in your breakfast cereal, there would be *some* evidence that it will not kill you. Not true at all!

Hippie yupsters have always been like, "I don't use plastic water bottles cause their chemicals cause cancer," or whatever, and we just laugh at them, but it turns out those people are the ones with the best erections.

"During 1946, exhaustive scientific tests have shown that, when properly used, DDT kills a host of destructive insect pests, and is a benefactor of all humanity." And cancer. Copyranter found a particularly good one today. Click through for full version.

Haha: Those shockingly expensive Sigg water bottles beloved by yuppies and hippies for being free of some specific deadly chemical did in fact contain that deadly chemical. Do we spy the hand of The Creator?