On Monday, actor Scott Baio somewhat inexplicably addressed the Republican National Convention on the subject of making America great, and also and safe. “So of course, let’s make America great again,” he said, “but let’s make America America again.” What?

CLEVELAND — On Wednesday, small-business owner Michelle Van Etten will address the Republican National Convention on the subject of Making America First Again. According to the convention schedule, Van Etten employs more than 100,000 people. Actually, the Guardian reports, she doesn’t employ anyone.

CLEVELAND — In 2012, the non-TV press at least had a halfway decent view of the stage. The press stand seats here in Quicken Loan Arenas are effectively behind the podium, which will eventually have the unintended effect of making it clear to the media when any speaker goes off-prompter (not that anyone scheduled to speak this week is known for that, or anything).

CLEVELAND — In the public square on Monday, as religious fundamentalists condemned sodomy to anyone who would listen, William Hale made sure his dog, wearing a vest laden with GoPro video cameras, was staying hydrated. “A lot of people ask if the dog is a boy or a girl,” he told Gawker. “I try to be gender neutral. It’s just ‘Liberty.’”

There is a foul odor emanating from the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, and folks—it isn’t the party platform. This morning, just before the start of the convention, a police officer conversed with a dispatcher about the distinct smell of “rotten bananas and mildew” wafting out of the arena’s banjo-shaped stage. That back-and-forth, broadcast via police scanner, is captured above.

CLEVELAND — Outside the Republican National Convention on Monday, Gawker ran into Matthew Heimbach, a podcast host for The Daily Stormer, who is encouraging delegates to write in the late George Lincoln Rockwell, founder of the American Nazi Party, for president. Donald Trump, Heimbach said, doesn’t go far enough. “He needs to become an ethno-nationalist. He needs to understand that a people is the basis of a nation,” he said. “Specifically, white people.”

Greetings, teens! Have you ever wanted to see a national nightmare live and in person? Can’t make it out to Cleveland this week? Don’t worry. Gawker’s brand new Snapchat has you covered.

Hat in hand, the organizers of the Republican National Convention have asked Las Vegas billionaire Sheldon Adelson and his wife Miriam to help them out of a $6 million hole, according to a letter obtained by Politico.

Late Wednesday night, The New York Times published a tentative schedule for speakers at next week’s Republican National Convention that included former NFL quarterback Tim Tebow, UFC President Dana White, Silicon Valley billionaire Peter Thiel, Donald Trump’s wife Melania and all of his adult children.

On Wednesday, the hacker or hackers using the name “Guccifer 2.0” released a new batch of files alleged stolen from the Democratic National Committee detailing plans for a “counter convention” to be held in Cleveland during the Republican National Convention next month, The Hill reports.

Cleveland is likely to see plenty of clashes between protesters and police during the Republican National Convention later this month. The local court seems to think so too, and will be extending its hours to a nearly around-the-clock schedule in order to process the hordes of people who will surely be coming through.

After promising that the 2016 Republican National Convention wouldn’t be “boring,” Donald Trump has begun lowering expectations for the event, even declining an invitation (from whom is unclear) to speak at all three nights of the convention. “I don’t want people to think I’m grandstanding—which I’m not,” he told the New York Times. “But it would get high ratings,” he added.

According to Bloomberg, Donald Trump’s advisors are currently working to get former heavyweight champion and current registered sex offender Mike Tyson to appear at next month’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

The Republican National Convention in Cleveland next month is shaping up to be a complete disaster, with hundreds of delegates in revolt and many prominent members of the GOP forgoing the event entirely. In fact, so few people want to speak that Donald Trump said earlier this month he is considering instituting a “Winners’ Night,” for sports stars.

On Monday, in a 20 minute speech, delivered from a Cleveland stage devoid of campaign paraphernalia, Hillary Clinton reminded Americans that, fundamentally, the world is divided into people whose lives matter and people whose lives don’t matter, and that on some level the only real difference between any two politicians is the question of where they draw the line.

We already knew that Cleveland was prepping for a riot gear-paved hell should the situation at the upcoming Republican National Convention turn dire. Now, thanks to Cleveland.com, we’ve learned that cops are also keeping 200 beds open at the Cuyahoga County Jail just in case.

The president of the Cleveland Police Patrolman’s Association, Steve Loomis, released a statement today saying that the family of Tamir Rice should spend part of their $6 million wrongful-death settlement to “educate the youth of Cleveland in the dangers associated with the mishandling of both real and facsimile firearms.”

The city of Cleveland has settled a federal lawsuit filed by the family of Tamir Rice, a 12-year-old black child who was fatally shot by police while playing with a pellet gun.