YouTube has an in-crowd, which actually matters a bit to those trying to "go viral." The viral strategy is best contrasted with the "make a lot of art that will stand the test of time" strategy; it's high-concept and low-quality, and one of the winners it's produced is Nalts. Brian Nalty, a grown man with a family, is best known for giving his son's friend a fart-noise machine and videotaping him in a library. (The clip is below.) Anyway, Nalts has a blog where he tries to teach how others can become famous too. But god, his "Marketer's cheat sheet to viral video" is boring. No worries, Nalts knew just how to punch it up!

· Somebody call Doc Brown, this is 1.21 jigga-WHATs of unabashed awesomeness. Keep your eyes peeled for the homey with the prosthetic leg; he puts Mucca to shame. [College Humor via AOTS]
· During the course of our day, we read a lot of truly shitty op-ed pieces. It's part of the job, we don't like to complain. While we normally shield these sorts of works from your eyes, we would like to share one of the more egregiously awful pieces we've read in eons with you now. Its title? "How utterly cool is Natalie Portman?" Barf. [MSNBC]
· "We've seen comebacks happen over and over again in the entertainment industry, whether it's John Travolta, the Spice Girls, or fictitious characters such as Indiana Jones or Rambo. Now it's Mr. T's time." So true. We pity the fools who don't read Mr. T's graphic novel! [Mohawk Media]
· We have to be honest, once we hit the 90-second mark in this video and realized that it's 22 minutes long, we stopped watching. That said, many tips have hit the Defamer inbox today telling us it's funny. So, there you go. Democracy in action. [Funny Or Die]
· And finally, we close the day with a bit of good news. The Elliott Smith wall on Sunset in Silver Lake has, thankfully, been untagged and restored to its pristine beauty. A tip of the cap to our friends at LAist. [LAist]

Because we here at Defamer are always willing to do our part to dispel myths, hoaxes, and pretty obviously arranged comedy bits on late night TV, we now reach deep into the "Yo Defamer — WTF???" submission box hanging outside HQ, and fish out an index card dropped by one of our confounded readers:

Hillary Clinton, who generally comes off way as more prepared and well-spoken than Barack Obama in their televised debates, has, naturally, received quite a bit of flack for her occasional attempts to crack jokes. These jokes—"change you can Xerox" and "no one asks me if I want a pillow"—are mostly harmless, but her delivery is terrible. Despite this, her family and friends insist she is actually a funny person. And they're right. In the clip above, she is very funny. The only problem is that she's also sarcastic, in the real sense of the word, and not the Michelle Obama sense of the word. That is maybe the worst possible way to differentiate yourself from Barack Obama, who inspires sarcastic people with his earnestness. We, with help from Jon Stewart and Ellen DeGeneres, shall explain why.

That 15-million-view video where someone wrote the words to Daft Punk's "Harder Better Faster Stronger" on their fingers and performed an elaborately choreographed hand-dance to the song? AMATEUR HOUR. The comedians Barats and Bereta perform Kanye West's "Stronger" with two hands — that's "Harder Better Faster Stronger" plus Kanye's "bape shit." (That, followed by four more "Daft Hands" videos, below.)

This is like a bajillion days old (a year and seven days, but it's been floating around lately), so sorry if you've already seen this rant from a YouTube user named LILSHOWSTOPPA, which she describes only with the words "DAMN IM MEAN AS HELL." It's gotten nearly 300 thousand views, and I think when I stare into where her eyes should be, I can see forever.

If you've not yet heard the tale of the Buffalo news crew Oscar night gaffe, it goes something like this: Shortly after Best Director was announced, a technical mess-up caused the audio of a conversation between a local ABC news team to be broadcast to the general public. It's the content of that exchange, warranting a statement of apology from the network, that is truly hilarious. But we'll allow you to discover that on your own, in the footage above. Once you're done watching, we invite you to provide your own dismissive, nine-word synopses of any of this year's nominees.

"I'm Fucking Seth Rogen!" It's funny! The comedy song is a response to a response to a one-shot joke on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, but that's okay because it's better than the original. Which is just one of five rules for making a parody that gets ten million views and takes you from "second place on a listicle in Wired" to "cover story titled 'Fuck Andy Samberg, Watch This' in Esquire."

Earlier today we showed you Barack O'Bollywood and invited you to send in your favorite distracting and discomfiting viral videos about the Democratic candidates. Some of you did! We've embedded some of these videos after the jump. They make for disturbing viewing, you have been warned. There is musical theater and porn and ABBA.

As we noted several weeks ago, diminutive quick-cash loan company spokesman Gary Coleman has finally given up on playing the ever-dwindling Diff'rent Strokes-groupie field, and settled down with a lovely young lady named Shannon Price. Until now, little was known about the happy couple, save for the fact that Coleman sometimes accidentally launches things at Shannon's head in moments of anger, and that at the age of 40, he is still a technical* virgin. (*A post-wrap-party exploratory session with Dana Plato notwithstanding.) Well, The Today Show set out to correct all that, by squeezing the newlyweds on a couch alongside Al Roker for some get-to-know-the-Colemans time. Enjoy, and while you're at it, have a ball imagining what their kids will wind up looking like, should Gary ever overcome his sex-having issues.

*Paul Boutin, our local heterosexual, told me I had to say it like that to avoid sounding gay. Apparently "charismatic dorkiness" is the verbal equivalent of a punch on the shoulder. Did it work?

Gawker's Richard Blakeley caught this exclusive clip of Barack Obama appearing on Good Morning America to refute charges from the Clinton campaign that sometimes he dresses in funny Muslim clothes.

Once we heard that the late night afterthought Jimmy Kimmel was planning a revenge video in response to Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" viral sensation, it seemed inevitable that an onslaught of response videos would emerge. And just on the heels of Jimmy's subpar Ben Affleck spoof, Zack and Miri Make a Porno co-stars Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen are now getting in on the action. Shot on the set of the upcoming Kevin Smith comedy, Banks glumly strums the guitar and explains that she just had to take a ride on Seth's "weird-looking cock" ("It looks like an otter!" proclaims Seth) in order to meet Judd Apatow. With cameos from Office sidekick Craig Robinson, Traci Lords, Jason Mewes and Zack and Miri director Kevin Smith himself (who emerges towards the end carrying a shiny strap-on), this video not only earns brownie points for being a funny addition to the "I'm Fucking" canon, but also for its surprise twist ending.

Yet more video has surfaced from Harry Shearer's magic satellite dish, the one that catches only feeds of television people engaging in embarrassing behavior just before they go on air. This installment begins and ends with brownshirt-friendly controversialist and faghag comedienne Ann Coulter politely requesting that someone cut up a line of Nicorette for her to snort, and in between we visit angry right-wing pundit Bill O'Reilly and scarf-obsessed network anchor Katie Couric. And more! Mildly unsettling clip embedded after the jump.

All told, we here at Defamer devoted five hours and forty-six minutes to watching and chronicling the 2008 Academy Awards last night. And wouldn't you know it, during that stretch, there were only a handful of moments that we'll remember next week, let alone next year. To that end, we gave Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer the unenviable assignment of paring last night's overblown monstrosity down to only its most essential elements. So wave buh bye to no-name costume designers and bid a not-so-fond farewell to Jon Stewart's blandly serviceable monologue, for this two-minute bestlight reel is chock full of moments like Gary Busey neck-raping Jennifer Garner, Joey Fatone drinking Lisa Rinna's milkshake and Tilda Swinton giving George Clooney's rubber nipples the business (among other gems). Enjoy!

With fidgety stars corralled into the Kodak Theater for nearly four hours of Church of Hollywood sermonizing, it's no wonder that the Governor's Ball, the first and most stately of all the post-Oscars soirées, is invariably a successful event. It allows winners, also-rans, and Oscar-shaped agents alike to mingle in a fantasy-like setting, occasionally snapping retractable tongues far enough to catch a cherry-flavored bubble floating their way. (We're not even joking—watch that Making Of the Governor's Ball Desserts featurette, sure to be one of the highlights of the 2008 Oscars DVD extras.) The LAT was lucky enough to be seated at the Michael Clayton table, where Jelly Bean Clooney (not the swing-era jazz titan, but The Last Movie Star) was realistic about his poor showing:

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We take a breather from all things Oscar to celebrate another star-filled reacharound: The premiere of "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. It was, of course, the response song to "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Sarah Silverman's danceable, genre-hopping paean to cuckoldry, delivered as a Valentine to her sweetie on the 5th anniversary of his show.