Those recordings of Barack Obama cussing for his book are being squandered. After three whole weeks there are barely any juvenile mashups! Apprently we have to get the ball rolling.

Martha Stewart's show today was all about pot! Pot pot pot! Jimmy Fallon was there, and he talked about pot! But right in the middle of the winky-drug jokes GOD INTERVENED.

This ad came on during the Oscars and we're still baffled. It starts with Tom Cruise and Jimmy Kimmel in a steamy, tumbling embrace in Cruise's bedroom. Then it gets weird.

An on-stage musical extravaganza. Two epic gay rights speeches. Sean Penn's upset win for Milk. The 2009 Oscars were easily the gayest yet.

While you were busy ogling pretty ladies in pretty dresses, ABC was airing Barbara Walters' investigative report on the really important issues. Such as: Is Joe Jonas a jerk? And is Hugh Jackman gay?

He's red-cheeked, in a bar, vaguely aggressive and verbally erratic, so maybe Jack Black is a little sauced. More likely, he's just being Jack Black. Very Jack Black. (Click for clip.)

Indian names baffle E!'s Ryan Seacrest, so he just held a sign up to the camera to introduce children from the cast of Slumdog Millionaire. Sad. Then things got more weird.

Last night Red Eye was talking about Travis the Chimp—who was shot and killed after eating a lady's face—wondering why his crazy owner spent so much time with him. One guest figured he was well-endowed.

Not to be outdone by colleague Kathie Lee's same-sex flirtation, Today show host Matt Lauer invited NBC newsman Brian Williams on to cohost this morning. Chemistry and sexual-dynamism as palpable as Kathie's hatred for Hoda.

Wynonna Judd is lonely—she admitted as much on The Late Late Show last night, and there was no hiding the fact that host Craig Ferguson makes her feel like a natural, Alli-endorsing spokeswoman.

Donald Trump can be amazing at spin, when he's not being a pig or sexist dinosaur. The latest example: when the real estate loudmouth masterfully tricked a Late Show audience into applauding his latest business bankruptcy.

Conan O'Brien's story seems more bitter each time he's asked about learning Jay Leno would precede his Tonight Show on NBC.

We'd like to present the mad skillz of hip-hop supergroup Back of the Class:

Allen Stanford, the Texas billionaire charged yesterday in an $8 billion fraud by the SEC, apparently lied to his clients about all kinds of things. Including not losing any money to Bernie Madoff.

On the 110th hour of the Today show this morning, Kathie Lee got a little randy. She was talking about a specific kind of kiss, and felt compelled to demonstrate it on everyone around her.

Sandra Herold, owner of Travis the chimp (Travis ripped a woman's face off after writing the stimulus bill), went on The Today Show because it seemed like a great idea in her current mental state.

Now that Late Night has worked YouTube's apoplectic Hong Kong flight misser into its skit lineup, other parodies and mashups can't be far behind. (Or at least SNL.) Clip after the jump.

Whoopi Goldberg's chat with Bill O'Reilly tonight was bizarre. O'Reilly told the black, female, comedian that he had risen from the "bottom rung" just like her. But that's not what angered her.

A plugged-in tipster directed us to the freshly-uploaded YouTube video above, in which Rosenblat speaks to an unseen interviewer. He could be talking to a GMA producer in a pre-interview, doing media training with a publicist, who knows. (The video is carried in a YouTube channel named after Rosenblat, although the title of this video curiously misspells his last name.)

Obama chose the perfect face for his "signing the stimulus" party: a blonde, clean-cut young yuppie fellow who owns a small business. A small hippie business.