As Fox Studios throws its enthusiastic support behind How I Met Your Mother by tripling its stars' salaries, the laugh track-enhanced CBS sitcom returns to the tabloid slophouse for some ratings-goosing stunt-casting.

Blago's on TV now. His defense: the House has been trying to impeach him for years! Since day one! Oh man Shep Smith is literally talking over him and mocking him. Update: Hey, video!

Judson Laipply's pop-choreography clip "Evolution of Dance" hasn't made a dime from his stardom. At the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, no one in the crowd could place him. His nine-figure viewcount has proven to be nothing more than the transitory flitter of eyeballs.

Two months ago, the Today show's Hoda Kotb swore "I don't drink really that much!" Really? This compilation is an intervention. Hoda, you may drink more than the entire cast of Fox & Friends.

Oh, look, it's a self-described 1980s radical casually explaining how he turned our president-elect into a Black Panther who got, uh, "open minded" at "jazz concerts," hint hint.

It appears that Sarah Palin's post-campaign career activities will consist exclusively of bitching about the media. In a new interview she takes on Katie Couric, Tina Fey, Caroline Kennedy, and all you jerks watching at home:

· Two guys disguised themselves as Hasids and stole $4 million in diamonds from a 47th St. wholesaler. Also stolen: Snatch's plot. It's all really a testament to how natural-looking synthetic payos have become.

Just before Anne Hathaway received Mary Hart's advice to shut up and bleach, the actress was on the Palm Springs red carpet with stern words for onetime paramour Barack Obama.

Watch Oprah's expression as a minister tells her, "Being gay is a gift from God."

It's a fun new game and you can play along at home! Just place our president-elect's name in a list of names of shady characters. Then get rich on the teevee!

Barack Obama had to have lunch with a bunch of boring old white guys today. Was it a round-table discussion on the future of the media? No, it was the presidents' lunch.

If a TSA agent cries after making you take off your shoes or throw away expensive makeup, will you still be mad at him? ABC's Homeland Security USA sought an answer last night.

Jon Stewart humiliated pundit Tucker Carlson with a public deconstruction years ago. But his disassembling of media villain Rupert Murdoch last night was, in a way, more damning.

The attached ad, ostensibly raising money to help Israelis, aired during MSNBC's Countdown tonight. As a tipster pointed out, one of the explosions looks totally fake.

Fox and Warner Bros. may currently be locked in a fanboy-torturing Watchmen legal battle, but that isn't going to stop WB from releasing Watchmen's final, full trailer...in Japan.

Two things apparently distract Jeremy Piven, according to CNET TV host & CBS correspondent Natali Del Conte who was on Fox's Red Eye last night: her breasts and Gawker.

As if nearly exposing Lisa Rinna's snickerdoodle to a horrified America wasn't enough, Richard Simmons's campaign of meal-dealing terror continues to devastate Manhattan.

Invite Richard Simmons on your morning show, and he will not only bring the flair/"issues," but will also become your devoted manservant.

First clip: A CNBC reporter dishes outsidery snark about Apple's supposedly botched iPhone launch. Second clip: CNBC's Silicon Valley bureau chief guzzles the Apple Kool-Aid. Is this the same network?