Finding a fat, lazy American is easy: it's either you, or your co-worker. Finding the fattest, laziest person in America? A much harder task. Well Dr. Oz found him, and promptly berated him on national television.

Clever turns of phrase and slang-filled insults in freestyle rap battles are simply too much for white people to comprehend. What we need is a translator to just give us the facts.

The 10-year-old boy that refuses to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance in Arkansas because of gay marriage has been all over the news recently. This brave kid is (predictably) being harassed at school. No more!

A woman wrote Ellen a sappy letter about being buried in debt due to falling on hard times (in this economy!). Ellen decided to pay off her $23,000 debt. The woman proceeded to absolutely freak out.

You have to admire Conan's humility here. The man hosts the Tonight Show, and is willing to play Galifianakis' foil for the sake of four minutes of absurdly brilliant comedy.

Lipdubs are the scourge of internet video, churned out by desperate would-be fameballers. But staff from Google's San Francisco office apparently can't resist making music videos, either. What workplace horrors made them turn to a sideline in Miley Cyrus impersonation?

Slacker generation, sexual deviation, end of a MILF relation, and bed-bug infestation. The best from Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office and 30 Rock. Must-see TV Thursday? You be the judge. To the lulz!

Drue Kataoka sells engulfing quick dips in art and culture to rich Silicon Valley workaholics. Now she's selling the ultimate fast immersion: the chance to "leave your mark" on Kataoka's art during a private jet ride.

Google is trying to break into the music business. But the squeaky-clean company is aiming at a very grungy market, as Oscar de la Renta-wearing VP Marissa Mayer discovered during a recent — ultimately contentious — radio appearance.

What the hell was going on on The View today?! Bill O'Reilly was dressed as Count Floyd. Barbara Walters was possibly Lydia Deetz. O'Reilly argued with Whoopi about his book. Then O'Reilly got booed for dissing Rosie. But... why?

Well look here, it's our friend Robert Thomas—ex-associate of Balloon Dad Richard Heene—all up on the Today Show this morning. Thomas on Heene: "The negatives outweigh the positives." It seems so! Click through for the entire interview.

So Rush Limbaugh was forbidden from owning the St. Louis Rams because the Obama White House controls the NFL players' union and, obviously, they control the NFL. But he totally didn't say those terrible things about black people!

Terra Networks paid Oliver Stone an estimated $75,000 to speak in Manhattan last night. The Spanish internet company probably did not expect the director to call internet users philistines and internet video "jerking off in front of a camera."

Bob Dylan's much-anticipated Christmas album is out. And — huzzah — it doesn't sound horrible. Still, you can't help but imagine Dylan as a drunken interloper who stumbled into choir rehearsal at a prim suburban church.

Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg has granted a rare interview so he can share such management expertise as: founders like himself are scientifically shown to be superior CEOs, according to a stat he heard once, somewhere, which "someone should probably look into."

One of the amazing things about this screaming fight on a San Francisco Muni bus is the way the citizen cameraman deftly captures every moment. At one point he's even shooting over his shoulder. Cell phone cameras never sleep, straphangers.

It's hard to explain Drue Kataoka. There's the hair. The intimate spiritual moments with aged Silicon Valley dons. And this new music video about net neutrality, co-starring Facebook fameballer Randi Zuckerberg. Think of Kataoka, perhaps, as Silicon Valley's Julia Allison.

We know that a casting call went out this summer for a Law & Order episode (loosely) based on the Curious Case of the Hipster Grifter. A tipster thinks it's tonight's show (the second promo clip). Hmmm. Maybe not.