You have seen the "my friends" roundup, incessant repeats of the "that one" clip, perhaps watched the "Tom Brokaw complains about time" montage, reveled in examples of McCain's ill-advised joking and smiling and doing that lizard tongue thing, and of course you're familiar with the weird non-handshake thing at the end. But here and only here will you find the best debate video edit of all: the "McCain kinda shuffles around the room like an old guy" collection! Watch as he sorta wobbles to and fro! Thrill as he attempts a natural, casual gait despite the rebellion of every aged joint his body! Feel sorry for him despite yourself as he acts tired, oh so tired, this isn't how it was supposed to be, this isn't how it was supposed to be at all, just tired, Cindy, let's go home, please.

Ugh. In preparation for tonight's finale (...Part One) of Bravo (not for long!) fashion competition show Project Runway, the remaining four designers were on Regis & Kelly this morning. And wouldn't you know it, the awful, whiny, self-aggrandizing Kenley, a villain on this show if ever there was one, cried again and made people feel sorry for her. Because, I guess, it is really sad when you are mean and rude to people and then they end up not liking you. So unfair! Gosh I hope she gets the boot tonight. Clip is above.

Both candidates went into the debates with the goal of looking Already President. Because many Americans simply wanted to believe they could trust the new guy, Obama won the first debate on those terms. Last night, it became clear that Obama's strategy was to spend the first debate as a calm, respectful presence and to open up more distinctions between the two candidates in the second. It also became clear that McCain's strategy was to assume he just couldn't possibly be losing to that punk kid. Conservatives are miserable that McCain lost last night. He pissed away the election! It was his last shot at winning! He never delivered the knock-out blow! He'd lost it already. Seriously. What could he have done, last night, that would've been a game-changer? Anything? He tried a stunt—"the Treasury Department will buy all the mortgages!"—but it just sounded like a stunt (also that is a great way to remind Republicans that they never liked you to begin with, by proposing a plan to the left of Obama). He was a little bit nicer, a bit jokier, but also much more critical of Obama in ways that made more sense than last time. What else could he have done? Magically appear 20 years younger? The only way to win this year on policy is to run to the left of the Democrats and the only way to win on character is to be more youthful and serious and new and comfortably familiar than Obama. McCain lost before he showed up. Once he showed up he looked old and tired. It'd be cruel to hand that man the presidency in a time like this. Tina Brown: "During the campaign McCain has aged dramatically. Like Dorian Gray, the bargains he has made with his conscience are reflected in the mirror. He has developed a strange Jimmy Cagney rasp and new verbal eccentricities that seem to have fused the speaking styles of Bob Dole and Ross Perot." John Heilemann: "He rattled around onstage looking slightly lost, making hokey jokes that fell flat in the hall, offering edgy barbs at Obama (and even Tom Brokaw!), and telling hoary stories that referenced Ronald Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt, Tip O'Neill, and Herbert Hoover - historically significant figures who reinforced the image of the Arizona senator as yesterday's man." Rich Lowry: "I thought McCain was good. It's as passionate and well-informed as he's ever been on domestic policy. His debate briefers did their job well. I think he repeatedly scored points in the first hour, but they were jabs rather then crosses-blows that Obama could absorb." And it should be noted that at The Corner they are convinced the only way McCain could've won this was to bring up William Ayers over and over and over again, to paint Obama as a radical leftist and to somehow get Real Americans to Wake Up and realize that this guy isn't who he says he is. Fittingly, their dissatisfaction with their mediocre candidate totally mirrors McCain's obvious shock that people are taking this Obama guy seriously. And now that Obama's favorables are so high, now that everyone is pretty sure they do know this guy (the time to paint him as something foreign and secretly scary came months ago, and Obama passed that test just fine), trying to scare voters away from him just demonstrates your contempt for their judgment. You know, the sort of contempt liberals were all accused of feeling because we couldn't believe anyone would've voted for Bush. Everyone hates the voters! We're pretty sure there isn't a "game-changer" of any kind available to the McCain campaign, and the best they can hope for is some sort of catastrophic meltdown by Obama. We're also pretty sure our debate preview was totally right!

Asked about possible candidates to serve as his Treasury secretary, John McCain said in Tuesday's presidential-candidate debate that Meg Whitman was a top candidate. His running mate, Sarah Palin, loves to talk about putting the state jet on eBay (even though, as is all too typical for eBay sellers these days, it didn't actually result in a sale). Whitman's record at eBay is mixed; she probably stayed three years too long. But since we're on the topic, why not put all the worthless mortgage securities the government is buying on eBay? The listing fees alone will be a major boon to the Silicon Valley economy.

One might expect a right-wing shouting head like Bill O'Reilly to help the Republican Party ratchet down expectations for John McCain ahead of tonight's presidential debate. But the Fox News Channel host is raising the stakes. A few minutes before the debate started, O'Reilly said the event will mark the Republican presidential nominee's "last stand." "McCain has to do well tonight, or say goodbye," he added. We're still pretty sure there's a scheme here — O'Reilly's probably got an easy definition of "well" — but this makes it all the more difficult for McCain to spin if he does poorly. Click the video icon to watch the clip. (PS: The commenter liveblog is here in case you missed it.)

We were just remarking at the lack of star-wattage speaking up on behalf of overturning the evil Prop 8—but here to fill that void is Defamer videographer Molly McAleer (and her gay husband Ed testifying via speakerphone), offering a stirring condemnation of those who would grinchily rescind gay Californians' right to marry. No on 8! No on 8! No on 8! C'mon! Go to some of the events after the jump and chant along with us!· Jackson Browne at Amoeba Music · Doug Benson's I Love Movies at UCB · Open Mic at the Hollywood Improv

We're going to preface this by saying that we here at Defamer don't just respect our elders, we downright adulate them. (That is, unless they're in the car ahead of us, counting pennies at the Vons 15-items-or-less lane, or generally engaging us in a conversation that involves several extinct movie stars and cookie brands that we've never heard of.) The last thing we'd want is for you to think we were taking some sort of perverse pleasure in witnessing whatever it is Cloris Leachman's body was doing on Dancing with the Stars last night.In a similar vein, we're not providing the above Regis Philbin brainfartstravaganza to mock the lightly addled broadcast legend. God only knows how many bits of showbiz ephemera he's amassed over the years, and are currently floating through his cortex like fabulous amoeba; the very act of reaching up and grabbing the right one at the right moment seems almost a fool's task. We'll tell you one name, however, that Reeg will never blank on: that of his schoolgirlish mancrush object, Jon Hamm. With a side of eggs, if you please. Are we right, Reeg? Special thanks to intern Matthew Rebula for doing such a nice job in putting this together.

While the fires on Wall Street continue to smolder and ghouls still prowl the darkened streets of downtown, searching for delicious human meat, a show called Wall Street Warriors still soldiers on. Yeah, it's on something called Mojo which is like Hi-Def television or something. Anyway, it follows real-life young idealistic finance types as they wheel and/or deal. And it's sort of sad given today's ruination. Above is an ominous clip from the most recent episode, the season finale. The two young men you hear are idealistic stockbrokers, the "punch in the gut" they refer to has to do with SanDisk stock dropping a bit. But, grimly, they remain hopeful. Little did they (or any of us?) know what awaited them just a few short months later. It's like that old Faces song. You know the one:

As far as nightmare-fueling Dancing with the Stars performances go, nothing in the sequence above even approaches Marie Osmond's legendary Baby Doll Dance of Despair—a harrowing journey into wind-up madness that to this day makes our left eyelid twitch whenever we hear the song "Start Me Up" or see the color pink. We'll extend that now to fuchsia, too, as it seems Cloris Leachman's hairpiece-malfunction-plagued rockabilly ballet has already burrowed itself into our subconscious; we hold it singularly responsible for what is sure to be a recurring Busby Berkeley-on-bad-acid fever dream, featuring our worm's-eye view of hundreds of spanky-pants-wearing octogenarians scissor-kicking around us in circle formation.

As if the borders distinguishing the fictional sex-junkie David Duchovny plays on Californication from the background-player-deflowering poon-addict he plays in real life weren't hazy enough, along comes another wrinkle to further confuse the issue—and this one involves us! On last week's Californication, Duchovny's character Hank is in jail for assaulting a police officer, where he's visited by ex-girlfriend Karen and their teenage daughter, Becca. At one point, Becca holds out an iPhone bearing his mugshot and says, "Check it out: You're on Defamer." Hank responds that he thinks it's "a pretty good picture," and we'd agree—though not nearly as good some others we've run. If your brain hasn't yet collapsed like a deflated beach ball from all the meta-ness, just wait until Tea Leoni stops by HQ to guest edit for a week.

"And, according to the New York Times, he was a domestic terrorist and part of a group that, quote, 'launched a campaign of bombings that would target the Pentagon and our U.S. Capitol,'" [Palin] continued.

· None other than Museum of Hollywood Jerks inductee Brian Grazer stopped by The Simpsons again last night. We can hardly wait for his take on Everyone Poops. We smell Oscar! · Sean Penn was so jazzed about getting in James Franco's pants, he just had to text his ex-wife about it. · It's your 2008 O.J. Simpson Conviction Keepsake Mugshot. · Ah, that's better: Recession Blocker allows you to read your favorite online news sources free of all those downer-inducing economic-apocalypse buzzwords. · Unfortunately, it does little to repel vampire hamsters and their similarly lethal friends.

While much has been made of Tina Fey's return to SNL this season—starring as Sarah Palin in a series of pitch-perfect cold-opens that could well be the only things preventing a frayed America from tumbling off a flat Earth's edge—this week's episode also brought two other hilarious and viral-worthy sketches we thought we'd share. The first involves a Lawrence Welk Show-era sister act with a dark, attic-bound secret, played by Kristen Wiig. The second features Andy Samberg as Max Payne star Mark Wahlberg, in conversation with a variety of farm animals. Look—us explaining it is just delaying the funny. They're both after the jump.

A tipster writes to us: "Holy crap... Are you watching CNN *right now*? They replaced the news ticker with content from SMS Text and Twitter, and now CNN is like TRL, in the middle of the day, etc. Rick Sanchez is the Carson Daly of CNN now." And lo and behold, the tipster was not kidding. Alongside footage of a McCain speech were actual childish text message and Twitter (the online refrigerator note) shortbursts like "we're in deep doodoo" sent in to anchor Rick Saanchez by viewers. Stay tuned for such upcoming salient crawl commentary as "Luvz U Palen, LMAO" and "Wut Up Barack, Hit Me!" Click above for a short sample clip.

"Twitter 16" is one of the first hip-hop tracks about tweets. Harlem resident Charles Hamilton says he's "Something like a rapper, but kinda not." Charles, the word you're looking for is founder. While Chuck works on a video to go with his NSFW lyrics, we've screencapped him so you can sing along with the chorus:Twitter me baby, Twitter me baby. I find it notable that he doesn't shout-out to Scoble or Ev.

What's to be done when you've exhausted every conceivable scenario in which to place your series's quartet of homoerotically bonded ne'er-do-wells? In Entourage's case, it means sending them to the desert with Eric "Abs of Steel" Roberts and a bag of magic mushrooms for a mind-expanding journey towards should-Vince-or-shouldn't-Vince-do-a-Benji-movie enlightenment.The result is something akin to what might happen if the CAA Death Star were to hover off from its Century City docking bay and touch down gently in the middle of the Burning Man festival. In the clip above, Ari loses the group, and in the process, all control of his perverse, stranglehold-reliant existence. Is it any wonder that as he panics among the boulders, he turns to his own rock—fiercely loyal gaysian henchman Lloyd—for guidance? With a sixth season announced today, we look forward to future episodes in which the lovable foursome pull off their socks and inject some of Roberts's premium brown sugar between their toes in a heroin-fueled attempt at divining whether or not Vinnie should take on the lead in Eight Below 2. [Entourage]

Many, many movies and TV shows have been wholly saved by the presence of a sage oldster. While there certainly is ageism rampant in Hollywood—illustrated by the fact that there are just a freaking ton of new "actors" and "actresses" starring in flicks and shows that no one over 25 could ever identify—there is still, and always has been, a beloved place for the elders. So that's the preamble. I'm getting us started with Joel Grey kicking much, much ass in 1985 when he was just starting to become an old.

So many people in the Tina Fey thread were talking up the skit "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" from last night's SNL, that I had to see what all the fuss was about. And... Holy shit that's good! It feels almost like that moment 20 years or so back when some genius suddenly realized that a Christopher Walken imitation was needed in the world. Don't believe it? Click through and see!

Last week, Paul Newman passed away while his contemporaries Al Pacino and Robert Deniro stunk up the screen with A Righteous Kill. And I got to wondering, when did Pacino go from the soft-spoken, menacing, understated actor that made him a legend, to this guy who just shows up and screams the end of every sentence? But then, it occurred to me, that overacting and eating the fuck out of the scenery is actually a very good thing now and then, depending on the movie or TV show. So, let us give props to the masters of straight-up over-doing it tonight, shall we? Come on, you know you love it when they go over the top, crap on the top, and then eat the top. I'll get us started after the jump.

Pretty little gaffe machine Sarah Palin says so many ridiculous things that it's getting hard to keep track. Gosh, darn, isn't there a way we can get all of her jaw-dropping utterances and untruths in one place? There is now. The folks at 23/6 bring us "The Best of Sarah Palin." Check it out after the jump. Pew-pew-pew!