Russian telecom VimpelCom has a deal with Apple to offer the iPhone earlier this month, but it's not on sale in Russia until later this year. So how did Russian president Dmitry Medvedev end up with one? Russian blog Siberian Light spotted him playing with an iPhone — presumably black-market — at a press conference.
Though the Emmys are often derided for being boring and predictable, last night's painfully awkward ceremony left us reeling. Whether it was the interminable improv given to stiff reality show hosts, the endless, poorly-chosen clips from shows like Desperate Housewives that segued into The Price is Right-level set recreations, or the vituperative comments from presenters and winners that had clearly turned on the shoddy format, the event was one prolonged cringe after another. Scientists are still studying the side effects caused by watching the ceremony without proper safety glasses (to make it through the whole show, we had to resort to viewing it through a pinhole), but have no fear, our two-minute long recap of the show's most awkward moments is FDA-approved. Enjoy! [Academy of Television Arts & Sciences]
Dear, sweet, precious, life-sustaining alcohol has starred in more movies and TV shows than any actor or actress could ever hope to star in. And tonight let us give the nectar of the gods its due. What's your favorite hooch scene? As ever, I'll humbly recommend one after the jump.
In honor of this week's total meltdown of our economy—and the fact that Bush/McCain expects us to pay to bail out the fuckers who caused it—let us focus on the stripe-shirted, bottle service-loving, date-raping, trust-funded, Ivy League pieces of human waste who made it happen. Don't get too caught up in the mercurial definition of "douchebag" when selecting clips of horrible people in movies and TV, since it's a rather recently popular term. Just think of the douchebag as anyone who hasn't really earned their own money, has horrible taste, is insanely crass, and gets off on being a shit to other people. We've had them all through the ages. Because there is no way an uninspired idiot like Jakob Lodwick could have invented them just to categorize himself. I'll get us rolling after the jump. Update: Forget the "moneyed" part. Douchebags exist in every social strata, and some of them are female as well.
Admittedly, I don't know who these people are, or what on earth they're talking about, but I do know these are clips from the upcoming episode of Gossip Girl and that many, many otherwise sane adults are hopelessly addicted to it. So dig in!
Though Shia LaBeouf is still recovering from wounds both real and imaginary, none are too fresh to stop actors Seth Green and Clark Duke from landing a few blows of their own. The Defamer-loving duo spoke to MTV while promoting their new comedy Sex Drive, and when they learned that LaBeouf had shamed their interviewer into carrying a bulky folder, the actors let fly with a volley of neverending LaBeouf insults that would put any "yo mama" contest to shame. Don't listen to 'em, Shia: plug your ears, pop in a VHS of Porky's II: The Next Day, and have a stiff drink (or five). [MTV]
Here's a song from Ben Walker called "You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter." YouTube featured the video on its front page, so the video has many more comments and views — 185,711 views at last count — than it would otherwise.Many of the 367 commenters seem to have no idea what Twitter is. "Guess I'm a figment of my own omagination [sic]. I've never heard of Twitter. " writes AdmiralGreenscreen in remarkable English for a YouTuber. "neither have I thank god," says flybreath.
Control Alt Delete, an indie flick shot in Vancouver, B.C. about a programmer working on Y2K bug fixes who develops a sexual attraction to computer hardware, has scored a distribution deal after premiering at the Toronto International Film Festival. Which means it'll be coming to theaters in a major market near you and eventually released on DVD. The premise isn't as unrealistic as you might think, if you remember the frenzy in the technology business in 1999.If you don't, you probably think that the Web 2.0 bubble will never burst. If you do, you were probably developing a wicked taste for single-malt scotch, cocaine and Internet porn — and have the collection agency notices from rehab-facility bills to prove it. Either way, your perception of reality is sufficiently warped that you'll find the scenario plausible enough to suspend disbelief long enough to enjoy the gags. Certainly more credible than the hypnotism macguffin in Office Space.
By now you're well aware that William "Bill" Shatner has not been written into J.J. Abrams's Star Trek movie, an egregious cast omission all but certain to sink this latest Enterprise before it even manages to nudge itself off its launching dock. But the fact of the matter is that he isn't, and while we seem to have come to terms with it, Shatner has not. It has thus evolved into precisely the kind of nerd-slight that gets bounced to and fro on the internets for us to stand by and watch like some interminable Pong game, just with less suspense or investment in the outcome. The latest chapter sucks Shatner's daughter Liz into the proceedings—surprisingly normal-looking considering she was the product of a one-beam-stand with a hot little green number from Orion—in which they both clear the record. Bill was not, we repeat not, approached to appear in Star Trek, J.J. Won't you reconsider? No? OK.
Last night was the first preview of the Katie Holmes-starring revival of All My Sons—a critic-proof production that will be remembered less for bringing new insights to the classic Arthur Miller text than it will be for hosting the most spectacular female celebrity disappearance since the days of Amelia Earhart and Shelley Long. (She'll first have to figure out a way to sever the 3000-mile-long, indestructible microfiber restraint tethered to her ankle, rigged to reel her in at the press of the button if she so strays so much as 15 feet from her Church-approved, "apartment-Barneys-theater" travel route.) Tom Cruise was largely credited with captaining the deafening standing ovation that met her bows—rich in first-pumps, index-finger #1s, and "It's all you tonight!" points towards the stage—until one handler had to pull the actor aside to quietly explain that the 78-year-old emphysema-sufferer seated in a wheelchair next to him was physically unable to, quote, "C'mon—get on your feet grandma and show my little lady some love!" From the AP report:
· Now you have no choice but to check in for our Emmy liveblog on Sunday: We'll be first with the results of the Ryan Seacrest/Jeff Probst bareknuckle rematch. [Jimmy Kimmel Live] · Appaloosa actor-director Ed Harris has clearly never listened to any Johnny Cash in his life. Ever. [EW] · On the fourth day of the global banking crisis, God said, "Let studio stocks rise." And it was good. [DHD] · He also said, "Let cable news ratings soar." That didn't go too poorly either. [The Live Feed] · Tina Fey's SNL riff on Sarah Palin today became NBC's most-viewed Web video ever. [THR] · First Harry Potter geeks, now Superman fans: All aboard the Warner Bros. hate-mail train! [Variety]
Click to viewAnnoyed by professional "futurists" and their soft, fluffy visions of cloud computing? Think your old rack-mounted server is bulletproof? Then watch as Dr. GoGrid lays waste to hardware from Dell, HP and Sun with an AK-47. Even if you aren't an IT grunt, just enjoy as beige plastic and green circuit boards are blasted into particulate. Trust me, it's cathartic.
We were hurt when voluble Fox News conservatalker Bill O'Reilly called Gawker a "despicable, slimy, scummy" website last night. Ha, not really. We wouldn't have expected anything less! O'Reilly has always had trouble controlling his temper, ever since his "Fuck it!" days on Inside Edition, when he still had hair. Click to watch this neat one-of-a-kind compilation of Bill's angriest moments over the years. And then SHUT UP.
Sure, the elitists at the Washington Post reported Sarah Palin "Left [A] Trail Of Bad Blood" as mayor of tiny Wasilla, Alaska, and local homemaker Anne Kilkenny famously emailed the whole world to say the Republican vice presidential nominee was a "ruthless" city politico. But as the attached clip show, Palin at least started out wanting to spread CHANGE and HOPE, not unlike a certain other politician now on a presidential ticket. "I want to bring a positive energy and determined voice to your ideas," Palin said in her debut mayoral campaign spot, signed "Positively Sarah." The feathered hair and keyboard-and-trumpet score will brighten your evening all on their own! The clip is after the jump.
· Come to think of it, Conan O'Brien would make a suitable stand-in for an Irish Setter for all your dog-head-cleaning demonstrations. [Late Night] · Well, lookee what Gawker turned up: Sarah Palin's personal e-mail account, including her entire contact list, which she apparently tried to delete out of existence. On cue, the McCain camp are throwing a shit fit. We're just going to snack on some moosepuffs and watch it all play out from a safe distance. This is totally better than The Hills! [Gawker] · Looks like we're not the only ones jazzed about this development! [The Internet] · It's Ryan O'Neal's Father-Son Meth Bust Day mugshot. [TSG] · We prefer the more Anderson Cooperesque Ben Stiller, but it's really just a matter of taste. [Daily Mail]
BoomTown's Kara Swisher went to Palo Alto’s MacArthur Park restaurant for a luncheon hosted by Germany’s Hubert Burda Media yesterday, the organizers of the DLD conference. A target of her shaky videocam work: Facebook flack Brandee Barker, who hid behind a fern. Asked if Microsoft was buying Facebook, Barker shouted, "Never!" Brave words, if not exactly consistent with Facebook's fiduciary duties to shareholders to consider all reasonable offers. Besides Barker, Swisher captured Silicon Valley figures like nerd chanteuse Randi Zuckerberg; Wired writer Steven Levy, fresh from his fly-on-the-wall writeup of the making of Google's Chrome browser; and layoff-happy Loic Le Meur. The crowd is shown descending into a happy drunkenness, giggling about Wall Street all the way down. After the jump, the full clip and a guide to the best moments:Click to view
Ruth Westheimer, the pundit who brought frank sex talk to middle America, stumbles in a discussion on NBC of the dangers of frank sex talk on social networks, calling Facebook "Facelift." Actually, that sounds like a great spinoff site for Mark Zuckerberg to target the over-40 set.
Pantless Knights Productions, the folks who brought you last year's sketch rap hit "Mac or PC," have released a new project — the Search Engine Rap Battle. Think Eminem's 8 Mile but with MC avatars for Microsoft, Yahoo and Google. Some of the rhymes, like MSN's takedown of Google at the end of the clip after the jump, are actually hilarious: "You might have users, but they'll soon be leavin ya / Cuz your search results say search Wikipedia." Even better are the costumes: Live Search in a skintight butterfly unitard, the Google propellerhead on a Segway and a rootin', tootin' cowboy from Yahoo. Instead of bribing people to use and promote Live Search or spending $300 million on meaningless television ads to "start a new kind of conversation," Microsoft should just hire these kids.
