Our little end-of-the-day fun-fests have ignored the golden-er, black and white-age of movies and TV for far too long. We all know that many of the most important and memorable moments for both mediums occurred before the widespread use of color film kicked in, and before color film was even invented at all, for that matter. So let us celebrate our colorless faves this evening. I'll kick it off with the series that sent me to sleep every night as a kid.

· We said goodbye to Bernie Mac, yet another untimely casualty of the Billy Bob Thornton Co-Star Curse. · We also bid farewell to Isaac Hayes and dusted his house for Scientology's fingerprints. · If it wasn't bees afflicting MGM/UA, then it was the co-owner walking out after two years. Tough week! · Culture maven Russell Brand and Tropic Thunder screenwriter Etan Cohen nobly fielded a few of our questions. · Britney Spears's inspiring trip down the comeback trail will surely provide the basis of her mother's next candid child-rearing guide. · Retard Enemy #1 Tropic Thunder faced premiere protests and network inquisitions. · If they're just going to fake the Olympics anyway, we might as well get to work on the made-for-Defamer drama The Michael Phelps Story. Here's your star. · While Christian Bale was cleared of kin-assault, ex-007 George Lazenby vigorously denied his wife's kid-sousing allegations. · Presumed Clone Wars "crack whore" Ziro the Hutt just turned out to be gay. Sorry about the misunderstanding, Mr. Lucas! · Tori Spelling soothed her 9021Woe with a helpful dinner-party toilet tutorial. · Barack Obama texted George Clooney for the appropriate response to a new Obama art exhibit. · "Anybody remember a screenplay about Rudolph Valentino?" · You'd think Warner Bros. might tell the corporate cousins at EW they're pushing Harry Potter back before it makes their next cover. Alas. · If Scarlett Johansson's Tonight Show sex fantasies aren't doing the trick for you, try the ScarJo Threesome Sweepstakes. · Jeff Zucker and Ben Silverman: The Butch and Sundance of NBC.

· Any chance you happened to catch the kayaking event during the Olympics earlier today? We're not sure why paddling down a Lazy River that exists entirely within the confines of the Bird's Nest is an Olympic sport, especially after seeing this video of a man who can jump on eggs without breaking them. Face it, not even Michael Phelps could pull that off. [YouTube via AOTS] · For those of you desperate for a Bret & Jermaine fix while awaiting Season Two of Flight Of The Conchords, their new music video for "Ladies Of The World" ought to suffice. [MySpace] · Cinephiles rejoice! Criterion will be releasing Wes Anderson's Bottle Rocket on DVD and Blu-Ray in November. [Criterion via Skeet On Mischa] · Janeane Garofalo and SNL's breakout rookie Casey Wilson are doing a shot-by-shot remake of Tango & Cash. We're not exactly sure why, but we sure hope they keep it up. [CC Insider] · Twilight will take that pre-Thanksgiving slot that Harry Potter just vacated, thankyouverymuch. [Variety]

Sheesh. War sucks! Here's more journalists getting fired at in the line of duty—they all lived, we think!—followed by yesterday's clips of warzone violence. Update: The Committee to Protect Journalists writes with context:"That video you posted shows Turkish journalists in a car under fire—one of the three in the car was injured." Sadly, at least three journalists have been killed in Georgia since fighting broke out.

Ironman was cool and everything, but some Hollywood limousine liberal film editor-who presumably was paid for his or her services!-cut out the most awesomely synergistic scene of all: the meeting of Tony Starks (Robert Downey, Jr.) and the other Tony Starks (Ghostface Killah). The full deleted Ghostface-Ironman-Dubai party scene is after the jump. I guess Raekwon was in the other room or something: Click to view

Why do so many people in tech deliver singing telegrams? Because they're so painful. My colleague Jackson West ventured this explanation: "Tech people are uncomfortable enough in the real world — raising the discomfort level and then blogging it for laffs provides a tail-eating narcissistic kick." Plus, it's a passive-aggressive sadism that can be documented in video and posted online. In the clips below, watch singing telegrams get delivered to prominent New York VC Fred Wilson, Yahoo ad exec Mike Walrath, and NextNewNetworks cofounder Timothy Shea. Watch and feel the heat rising on the back of your neck.Victim: NextNewNetworks cofounder Timothy Shea

After releasing an initial set of publicity photos that were nothing more than a cruel tease, the CW has relented, cutting together a teaser trailer for the new 90210 that finally, finally gives the people what they've been waiting for: Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth, sometimes even in the same frame! While we have to give the network kudos (we figured they'd merely tease the presence of the actresses as though they were the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park), we must again protest the severe lack of screen time for the performer we really want to see: Jessica Walter, who is essentially reprising her soused Lucille Bluth character from Arrested Development. Tell you what, CW: if you guys can promise to release a scene where a withering Walter sniffs at the snacking Jennie Garth and says, "You want your belt to buckle, not your chair," we'll call it even. [The CW]

So. The Georgians sorta instigated this nutty war but the Russians were apparently looking for any old excuse to swarm in and take charge. The U.S. is stepping up the rhetoric but lord know what we'll actually do to stop the Russians from toppling the Georgian government. Georgian president Mikhail Saakashvili is now waging a second war—a public relations war! He knows one of his better bets is to turn United States public opinion toward his beleaguered nation and against those terrible Russians, so he plays up how Western his country is all the time. They love America! Hot dogs! Johnny Cougar! In this clip, Saakashvili goes off on an incredible tangent about how Georgia once had amusement parks and Dolby Digital movie theaters (seriously!) but the Russians destroyed that, because they hate fun. How can anyone be against surround sound? Those filthy Russians!

Have you been too busy this week—doing stupid things like spending time with loved ones or finishing your funny and poignant first novel or lying in a pool of your own vodka—to watch the games of the 29th Olympiad coming to you from the future in Beijing? Well you've missed a lot, let me tell you. Thankfully, through the magic of technology, our masterful video staff was able to compress all the highlights you missed into one minute. There's gymnastics and fireworks and Phelps and the Elbow Incident. Clip is above.

· We've never really been giant fans of A&E's borderline exploitative documentary series about the throes of addiction, Intervention. While it's great that the show helps families and addicts attempt to deal with their significant problems, we always end up feeling icky on the rare occasions that we see the show. This week's episode, about a woman hooked on huffing computer duster, was no exception. [Videogum] · Former NYT film critic Elvis Mitchell was recently stopped crossing the U.S. border with $12,000 in cash hidden in a shoebox, along with a stash of 15 Cuban cigars. His explanation? He's afraid of banks. That might make sense if he was driving his own vehicle, but he was actually riding in a taxi at the time. [NY Post] · While the Two Coreys had no trouble cashing a paycheck to appear in Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, Kiefer Sutherland decided to take a pass. "Lost Boys was a massive part of my life, it still is. You can’t crap on that." Smart move. [/Film] · In the biggest wedding news since Jay-Z and Beyonce tied the knot earlier this year, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi are reportedly tying the knot this weekend in California. Should be De-Lovely! [US Magazine] · Greg Johnson, one of our favorite up-and-coming comedians, just ran across the United States. Naked. [Buzzfeed]

Ohh, Georgians. It will be hard to maintain your current favorable coverage in the US press if you do things like this. The attached clip shows a Fox News reporter running from gunfire from Georgian troops. The absoltely amazing thing is that as he's running from them he's still, like, totally on their side? They are exhausted and humiliated by those Russians (those baaad Russians!). Also who hasn't wanted to make a Fox News correspondent dance a little, right? Totally understandable! (For balance, the clip is followed by a clip of a Georgian journalist getting shot in the arm on-air by a sniper. Presumably a Russian sniper? Who knows. Fog of war!)

Richard Quest, the CNN correspondent arrested in Central Park last April with crystal meth in his pocket and a rope on his genitals, is back to loudly telling you business travelers everything you need to know! And his time off has made him no less, uh, vivacious. Click to watch him scream through the intro to his latest travel segment, including valuable info on people's loss of "Priv-uh-see." Something Quest knows all too well.

Eric Schmidt spent 18 minutes on CNBC yesterday talking to Mad Money's Jim Cramer, but per usual, the Google CEO didn't say much. Only about 60 seconds worth, we discovered after boiling the segment down to its crucial bits. Learn that Google is bad economy-proof, YouTube doesn't make money (and doesn't need to), and that shareholders should just stay quiet in the clip above.

Loudmouth Mark Cuban mockingly characterizes Google — which still can't figure out how to make money off YouTube — as the vendor who brags: "we are losing money on every sale, but we will make it up in volume."But Google CEO Eric Schmidt doesn't deny the charge. On Jim Cramer's Mad Money yesterday, Schmidt said "Eventually, we'd like to make some money of out [YouTube], but even if we don't, even if ultimately its a loss leader, the fact that so many people come to YouTube means they ultimately come to Google and click on ads." The numbers back up Schmidt's claims. According to ComScore, in June 2008 YouTube pointed 2.4 million search queries through Google search — just a couple hundred thousand fewer than Yahoo search.

· This has got to be some kind of new low: Join in the fun as Tori Spelling's party guests crowd into the bathroom to watch husband Dean McDermott try out the new features on their high-tech wondercrapper. You'll be glad you did! [Tori and Dean] · Fine, Millions of Milkshakes—L.A.'s newest frozen-delight venture—features the Britney, Paris, and Lindsay among its 75 million flavors. But does it feature a Zoila? It had better. [Eater LA] ·After seeing Victoria's act, watching Hungarian weightlifter Janos Baranyai dislocate his elbow should be a piece of cake. (Warning: Graphic.) [Deadspin] · Once we're onto the subject of Olympics injuries, we're getting reports that Michael Phelps has dislocated his penis in the 400-meter Individual Medley. [WOW Report] · Ranchero singer and telenovela star Pablo Montero has been arrested for cocaine use and possession, forever altering the course of future-Dancing with the Stars-participation history. [NY Daily News]

We apologize for being a little behind the gun on this clip from Friday's Jimmy Kimmel Live!, but we'd hate for the week to go by without acquainting you with It-Boy Ascendant James Franco, and his lovely stories from the set of Gus Van Sant's Milk. With a rough-sex outline Scotch-taped between the third and fourth pages of the shooting script, Franco quickly realized he was in for the Crisco-assisted ride of a lifetime—but it's this born raconteur's rubber-member reminiscences that really won us over. Enjoy, with someone you love.

Eight months ago, we posted an excerpt from a video former Feedburner CEO Dick Costolo's made in which he explains life after being acquired by Google. A standup comedian, Costolo plays the sad clown in the video, explaining that at Google he's got a significant job title, though "you can't tell by the words in it." Now that Google has killed FeedBurner's ad network, its reason for being, it's time to post Costolo's entire video. Note that Mr. Team Player didn't use YouTube.

With Tropic Thunder —the product of Ben Stiller's harrowing journey into the heart of retarded darkness— storming multiplexes today, the film's stars are going into promotional hyperdrive. And nothing sells your movie more than some old-fashioned controversy—particularly one in which you're accused of being insensitive to the disabled. (Semitic advocacy groups, meanwhile, surprised everyone by seeing nothing objectionable in Tom Cruise's minstrelsy, Jewface performance.) On the GMA hotseat today was Stiller and co-star Jack Black, both of whom calmly explained that in matters of insensitivity and bodily function, context is everything; framed by the movie's central comedic conceit of actorly self-indulgence, then, not a single dropped R-bomb or ass-bomb should be considered anything other than purely satirical.

· Today on Feeling Zoila, Jeff Lewis's frittata-serving lifemate reveals what she's learned from her OCD-afflicted boss. We think we can now safely say we know where she got that bad habit of standing on the front lawn in denim short-shorts and shaking her dumps for passing motorists. [Flipping Out] · "I know I've complained about your split-ends before, but hair, thank you for being the only thing on this planet preventing me from totally losing it right now!!!" [Mollygood] · Shia's pinkie is still attached and doing well, said co-star Isabel Lucas, which was more than she could say for Adrian Grenier. [Just Jared, People] · Beefcake week continues here at Defamer with some 19-year-old, shirtless Seacrest. [TMZ] · For the love of God, do not click here. (You have been warned. Don't go complaining that you shouldn't have done it.) [Celebslam] · Inky, Pinky, Sprinkly, and Yum. [shinyshiny.tv]

What better way to cool down in the summer heat than with a frozen reality turkeycicle, aka High School Musical: Get In The Picture? We had yet to encounter the kids vying for whatever it is this show is promising—we assume some sort walk-on role on High School Musical 5: Pregnancy Pact!. But we figured, "Hey— aspiring child actors competing for our hearts and votes on a competitive talent show, what could go wrong?" A lot, it turns out.The series is presided over by host Nick Lachey, who has apparently been directed to address the contestants as if they were kindergarteners on a field trip to the local industrial bakery. Nick: this is not a step in the right career direction. And speaking of the contestants: Where did they find this many teenage weirdos? It's like they managed to round up every junior high kid across the country who'd tell on you for drinking at a sleepover because it "just didn't sit right," dangled the promise of fame in front of them, then turned the cameras to capture their creepily eager smiles and emphatic head-nods as the world's most patronizing day camp counselor ovvverrr-eeenunnnnciiiiates a lecture about the importance of cooperation. We want to beat them up! Where's our little bendy-toy, Victoria? Ahh—there you are. Better. Much better.