If you still have last night's third season premiere of Mad Men sitting on your DVR, move on to something else. Or maybe you're not planning to watch. Either way, here are the plot points Matt Weiner put into play.

Biz Stone is trying to get $575,000 for his tidy "poet's cottage" in the Berkeley hills. The Twitter co-founder's real estate agent must be tearing her hair out: Stone's explained on television how much he regretted buying the place.

It only took a decade, but Us Weekly finally got their dirty clutches on video of actor Channing Tatum taking it all off for a crowd horny Florida ladies. It's his best work since Step Up 2: The Streets.

Aaron Sorkin told the website MakingOf that he's never agreed to a project so fast as when he signe on to adapt Ben Mezrich's Facebook book. Sorkin still doesn't know what he was thinking.

Famous prosecutor and TV commentator with absolutely no respect whatsoever for the fundamental principles of Western Criminal Justice Nancy Grace wrote a novel! It's about a hard-charging no-nonsense prosecutor....

Some liberals and elected Democrats have asserted that the anti-health care reform town hall protesters are engaged in "astroturfing," a term meaning corporate-sponsored pretend grassroots activity. But Fox has definitively disproved that.

Recently-departed filmmaker John Hughes was known for making insightful but fantastical movies about teens. His death was an unexpected boon for a group of young filmmakers wrapping up a documentary about him. It's like his ghost sewed their prom dress!

The Kreepie Kats miss Ben Silverman, Twitter, and John Hughes. And Frasier. After the jump: the Kreepie Kats Summer Blockbuster Red Band Teaser Trailer #1! Forward it to all your friends!

It's best to watch this clip without any context or introduction. Just click, and press play, and prepare to be entertained.

Has any celebrity tied himself so closely to a technology product as Ashton Kutcher with Twitter? It's doubtful, and yet Kutcher hasn't received a dime for his defacto endorsement. That's not lost on the actor.

Is bro-blogger Tucker Max's movie as chest-thumpingly awful as the script made it out to be? Based on some "leaked" footage we've been sent, yes, yes it is. Sex with midgets and deaf girls; wannabe-alpha-male trash talk; it's all there.

How many ways can you analyze 30 seconds of silent footage? An infinite number of ways! Over the last 24 hours, cable pundits, our modern Vienna Circle, have explored all the possible meanings of a bunch of guys drinking beers.

*Which means it's probably a marketing ploy for something.

As Barack Obama, Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police officer James Crowley get ready to share a beer, the nation finally has an opportunity to discuss racial prejudice and its lasting impact on American society. Haha, just kidding.

Donny Deutsch was filling in for David Shuster on MSNBC today when his coworkers decided to humiliate the ad man and failed CNBC host on-air with that 1983 picture of him in a speedo. Excellent!

Remember how Sarah Palin graduated from her fiftieth college with a degree in communications? What the hell happened to addle this woman's mind so much that she can no longer form logical sentences? We went to the tapes to investigate.

Katie Couric may be a little late to the "Alessandra Stanley screwed up Walter Cronkite's obit" party but she is officially its celebrity guest. Couric used her entire "notebook" column to school Stanley, and, boy, is it a doozy.

It's actually kind of pretty and, yes, duh, of course bridges aren't completely fixed and immovable. But still it's a little disconcerting to see just how much these old things shift. Remember a couple years ago when that thing in Minnesota happened and everyone was all "America's infrastructure is crumbling and we're all doomed"? Can we focus some of that attention on New York's bridges, specifically those that go to Brooklyn? Because while I may never again have to set foot in that accursed and undesirable borough, I have many friends who still dwell and toil there and I'd like them to come visit me in my Manhattan palace without dying from bridge collapse on the way.