Having many years ago traded our shitkicking, bar-brawling days for a pastier, stir-crazy life of bloggy servitude, our bittersweet tears of joy welcome this violent throwback to the good times. To wit: Apparently upset with a scene-stealing drunkard crashing her performance at Austin's Saxon Pub, country-fu pioneer (and Willie Nelson offspring) Paula Nelson landed a kick that commenced a fantastic Lone Star ass-whuppin'.

Last night, Britney Spears returned to her legitimate sitcom stunt-casting roots for the first time since her Will & Grace guest spot of two years ago. This go-around, she was called upon by lesser-threatening CBS comedy How I Met Your Mother to play Abby, a dermatologist's receptionist smitten with the show's main character.

CNN's Showbiz Tonight turned to Julia Allison to explain the phenomenon of tabloid regulars with little or no talent in this clip. She calls it the "de-evolution of celebrity." I can hear the producer on the phone now: "Hello, pot, we need someone to call the kettle black this afternoon. Are you available?" Of course, Allison doesn't just know how to put on makeup, wear a dress and pose like the rest of these creatures — she's an umtrepreneur!

· Wearer of the Kardashian pants Bruce Jenner came face-to-face with his gay fanbase on Keeping Up With The Kardashians last night, when a server at The Abbey instantly recognized him as the star of Can't Stop the Music. (Imagine if Steve Guttenberg and The Village People happened to be strolling by at that moment. They could have staged a revival!) [KUWTK]
· Fred Thompson's White House-shot ends with the actor returning to Hollywood and signing with WMA, who'll handle all his TV, theatrical, and unsuccessful presidential bids from now on. [Reuters]
· Beatboxing Idol runner-up Blake Lewis thinks little David Archuleta is "boring." He also thinks David Cook is an arrangement-stealing poser. He basically hates everyone except Chikezie, who he doesn't think will win. And he doesn't watch the show—never has. Yup, that about covers all the Simon-hand-biting he could cram into this one soundbite. [rickery.org via Idolator]
· We didn't catch Make Me A Supermodel this week, but apparently Perry really excelled at the Do Your Best Jared Leto As A Hot Tranny Mess Challenge. [DListed]
· Introducing the Paris Hilton Shoe Collection. All styles available in sizes 11-14, only. [endless.com via ONTD]
· A casting notice for Cillian Murphy/Ellen Page drama Peacock, in which Murphy plays a split-personality husband and wife, features several sides from the script dubbed "fucking brilliant" by Defamer editor-at-large, Mark Lisanti. [pmscasting.com]

Google's Zurich office may look like a playhouse, but it certainly has its rules and regulations. "The only thing you're not allowed to do on a flypole is carry your laptop with you," our narrator tells a BBC crew on a tour of the place. "Coffee, food is absolutely fine."

In these politically charged times, we are hard pressed to think of four more qualified individuals to address the delicate issue of race and religion than three comediennes and a former reality show contestant. That said, we don't cast The View, we just watch it. And this morning's show featured a real humdinger of a Hot Topic, as the conversation between the ladies of The View turned once again towards the controversial subject of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. As Whoopi and Joy attempted to bring Elisabeth to the realization that she may have unfairly slighted Obama by equating his views on race in America with his Reverend's, the backed-into-a-corner Liz broke out one of the more ridiculous analogies we have ever heard air on public television. Expect a lawsuit from the good people at JIF and Smucker's to be filed within the hour. [The View]

Not only are these ladies almost a year late for the "Obama Girl" craze, they're so deliciously terrible and so enthusiastic that I laughed until, for the second time ever, YouTube made me cry. The backing track sounds like it's from a Game Boy. The women are, well, they don't look like Obama Girl (although one looks like Fat Jenna from 30 Rock). One of them has pants that disappear on greenscreen. And in the final chorus it's literally raining McCain. This video is the metric equivalent of ten thousand nights of karaoke.

"And you make money for that?" is the first question I get when I tell my extended family about my life as a professional sweatpants-wearer. I'm not too good on the numbers, but some bloggers do get paid and apparently quite well. I think it has something to do with page views? This amazing AP clip about bloggers who are "happy to serve as ultra low cost freelancers" can teach you about how the internet thing sustains itself. Click through and judge this dumbed down explanation of Web 2.0 economics!

While the direct effects of the WGA Strike have been well-documented ($3.2 billion in economic impact, the cancellation of the Golden Globes, the greenlighting of Quarterlife), it's harder to quantify some of the strike's more indirect effects. For example, if the Writer's Strike had never happened, Heroes probably would not have gone on hiatus until the summer, which means that the world would likely never have been subjected to the latest nonsensical video ravings of Milo Ventimiglia's Divide Social Club. The group, which consists of the aforementioned Mr. Ventimiglia and two of his meathead buddies, was founded in March of 2006, but it wasn't until Milo found himself without steady employment a few months back that the group's work began to take off. And by take off, we really mean devolve to a level of inanity that makes Chris Crocker look like Daniel Webster. Take, for instance, the video clip above, which documents Milo and his pursuit to eat poolside nachos ... with sour cream.

Last Saturday was the third annual New York City Pillow Fight in Union Square. Hooray for the relentless twee-ification of New York! Improv Everywhere is to blame for this, somehow. Anyhow, Gawker Videographer Alex Goldberg attended, and filmed the melee. If, like us, you wondered why you saw fresh-faced youngsters clutching pillows out and about in Manhattan on Saturday night, this should clear things up.

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On last Wednesday's The Tonight Show, Towleroad notes, Ryan Phillippe popped by to promote Stop-Loss. Host Jay Leno—a man being courted aggressively by studios and networks, with promises of eight-figure contracts and brand new theaters bearing his name—opened the interview with questions about Phillippe's first paying job on One Life To Live.

Wine Library TV host Gary Vaynerchuk took an even more select subset of The 250 up to De Loach Vineyards in Santa Rosa for a wine tasting. Among the guests were Laughing Squid's Scott Beale, egoblogger Robert Scoble, Facebook evangelist Dave Morin, 4-Hour Workweek author Tim Ferriss and Digg's Kevin Rose. One of the tastings took place on a farm. On this farm there were some sheep. One of these sheep didn't like Kevin Rose very much — and chased him up a hill. Robert Scoble took photos. Scoble showed those photos to MadPod's James Donnelly, who filmed them and put the result on the Internet. Much to Rose's dismay, we are sure, we present that video to you.

· In this new Indy featurette, Shia LaBeouf recalls the tingles he felt the first time Harrison Ford wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, nuzzled in close, and the two embarked on the ride of a lifetime. [IndianaJones.com]
· Some people, however, would be just as happy to spoon with a horse. [Craigslist]
· Good news: They want you to pose shirtless for the cover of a magazine, Jamie Lee Curtis! Bad news: It's AARP's. [CNN]
· Ninja exclusive: First look at Snake Eyes from the G.I. Joe movie. [superherohype.com]
· Christian Siriano will be representing Access Hollywood on the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards orange carpet, where he'll be turning your children gay. [Access Hollywood]
· Where in the world is Defamer editor-at-large Mark Lisanti, you might be wondering? Possibly winning...A NEW CAR!!! [Lisanti Quarterly]
· And in case you thought you were being paranoid: No. The Easter Bunny really does hate you. [YouTube]

We've quite enjoyed Macy's new marketing campaign in which they put together their design "stars" in fast-paced montages jam-packed with one-liners from the likes of The Donald, Martha Stewart and Jessica Simpson, who's fully come to terms with her dumb blonde schtick by agreeing to pretend she just can't figure out how to open the darn door to Macy's while schlepping boxes of her stripper shoes. But the latest spot has us confused. Featuring Mariah Carey (she has a fragrance, unlike any other celebrity we know!), Carlos Santana (highly respected shoe designer and sometimes musician!), Donald and Martha, the commercial's theme appears to be the way in which consumer goods can inspire...quasi-rhythmical snippets on Santana's legendary guitar?

As you could have guessed, nearly all the "sweded" films made during the marketing of Be Kind Rewind (and several knockoff contests) were boring. One parody managed to crack good jokes, and though it drags on in the third act, so does the film, so that's okay. It's Terminator 2, the low-budget version. (My favorite line is "Live with me if you want to come.")

Mmmmm....dirrrrrrrt sannnnndwich. Each week, Defamer videogetarian Molly McAleer plucks just the ripest, juiciest morsels from the tabloid TV landscape, slices them finely, then stacks them carefully on artisanal all-grain bread smeared in a Tuscan olive tapanade for a satisfying meal unto itself. This week: an impressionable Abigail Breslin recalls her Spartan co-star's toilet-mouth; TMZ has a good laugh at serious skin conditions and near-fatal animal attacks; Gary Busey pep-talks the terminal cancer right out of Patrick Swayze; and Oprah's dog chokes to death on a ball. Enjoy!

A YouTuber (no, it's not the same one who gets a million views whenever she stares at the camera, yes I'm sure they all look alike but bear with me) explains how to max out "cute Japanese girl" playability. Turns out it's even simpler than bashing your head against a wall screaming "why doesn't anyone watch my carefully made skits?" Just play Japanese music, flash a peace sign, wave, and stare. The most popular girls don't talk, just like in the good old days!

Because Friday is typically our day to let out a little workweek steam by offering up material just a little more frivolous than the hard news we churn out Monday through Thursday, we offer you this delightful mashup by Defamer videotrix Molly "The Bride of Spindenstein" McAleer. In it, Barbara Walters bids a fond farewell to the shores of her sanity, and sets sail on a large Viking barge for the fabled realm of Dementia: And it's all to a hip-hop beat. Enjoy, everyone! Happy Friday! And Happy Easter!

Just this week, Liz Smith, the bisexual, outspoken Post columnist admitted to being "completely daunted" by the internet. Mocking people who don't understand Google is so much fun. But in a promotional video for Wowowow, the website for "women on the web," she describes herself as the "tech guru" among the old ladies. In the valley of the infertile, the one working ovary is queen. I would commend say Liz Smith for opening herself up to ridicule to get attention for the site, but the joke's on her. The only post-menopausal women who read this site are our moms.