A California circus became the site of a chaotic melee on Friday when clowns clashed with animal rights activists in front of hundreds of onlookers, KNBC reports.

Louie, the famed organ-playing clown from Wichita's now defunct Joyland Amusement Park has returned after missing for 10 years. He was found in the home of Damian Mayes, a former employee of the park who used to repair Louie's organ—and a convicted sex offender. "It is a great feeling we finally have found it (Louie)," Margaret Nelson Spear, one of Joyland's former owners, told the Wichita Eagle. "…It is a big relief. We are pleased."

On Saturday night, police in the south of France arrested 14 teenagers who were reportedly carrying pistols, knives, and baseball bats while dressed as evil clowns. Spooky!

A 54-year-old drunken clown was arrested in Michigan this week for sitting in his garage and firing his pellet gun at a can on the street on what would have otherwise been a perfectly nice Monday morning.

In a lawsuit filed by Regina Janito, the mother alleges two men dressed as clowns terrorized her and her family during a visit to the Massacre Haunted House in Montgomery, Ill. She accuses one of the clowns of "violently" poking her daughter with a purple vibrator while the other simulated oral sex on a teddy bear with another vibrator strapped to its crotch.

Since the beginning of October, residents of Wasco, Calif. have been calling police to report sightings of a strange (undoubtedly murderous) circus clown, Bakersfield's KGET-TV reports. Appearing only at night, the clown has been spotted carrying a variety of fun props, including mallets, balloons and—that most classic of novelties—an axe.

The answer is yes.

"The fun thing about clown sex is there's really no rules," says Jay, a 33-year-old from Chicago and expert on the subject. Jay shared his fetish and many of its accompanying toys—greasepaint, rubber noses, clown pants that you can wear with nothing under them, a cat o' nine tails made of uninflated balloons—on an episode of Logo's sex therapy reality show Bad Sex last night.

The most surprising part of this terrifying clown video is that there weren't more heart attacks involved.

Today is the day Taco Bell makes its big, waffle-shaped push into the fast food breakfast market, and Ronald McDonald is leading the way. A whole army of Ronald McDonalds, in fact.

Puddles the Sad Clown is just like teenage pop sensation Lorde, except that he's extremely tall, entirely mute when he's not singing, and is a clown. They do both have golden voices, though.

Think about the last time you saw a clown. Was it dead? Jerking its rigor mortised limbs in an eerie approximation of gaiety? Did a child toddle up to the clown and tug the hem of its grubby, moth-eaten sleeve to request a balloon crown, and did the clown's arm detach itself completely from its socket with a horrible crunch and did the dead, heavy weight of the arm—and the angle of the yank and the velocity at which it was traveling—all align so that when the limb fell down to dusty earth, it took the child with it? And were you not able to get a refund because company policy states that there are no refunds?

It is Fashion Week—for men. It is Fashion Week for clowns.

Antiviral is an occasional column in which we run down the worst hoaxes, pranks, Photoshops and straight-out lies blowing up on the internet.

There is an Australian clown on the loose in the streets of Melbourne, frightening pedestrians not with the inherent creepiness of a crazy man in a clown costume or a whimsical water pistol, but with an actual gun.

Today, in terrifying clown news: A Wisconsin man dressed as a clown was arrested after drunkenly holding a young child over a railroad overpass.

Halloween is a special time when drunken adults dressed as horrifying clowns start crashing their cars and freaking people out down at the McDonald's. Over the next 10 days, hundreds of scary clowns will be arrested nationwide for all kinds of terrible behavior. When a person decides to be an evil clown for Halloween, they are basically planning on being arrested.

There's nothing scarier than a clown. Except, possibly, a clown who is pointing a gun at you. Which was the unfortunate (for him) last image seen by former drug kingpin Francisco Rafael Arellano Felix as he was vacationing with family in Baja California this week.

The Northampton Clown has been unmasked. It's Banksy!

In this photo tweeted by House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, House Republicans sit across from empty chairs (again with the empty chairs) meant to symbolize absent Democratic leadership from the Senate. Or something.