Congratulations to Jim Cramer for reiterating his call for investors to pull all their money from the market on the Today Show this morning, just hours before the Dow rallied for a 5.8% gain.

• Jon Stewart made fun of Jim Cramer and Cramer responded in kind. Then Stewart took another shot at the Mad Money host. And Cramer responded once again on the Today show this morning. Your turn, Jonny. [HP, MM, BI]
• Okay, so CNBC didn't see the economic collapse coming. But if we're handing out blame, we better not forget about the nation's newspapers! [NPR]
• Ratings for Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice have tumbled. [AdAge]
• More cuts at New York are rumored to be in the works. [Gawker]
• American Express has shuttered Travel + Leisure Golf. [WWD]
• Apple is launching an American Idol iPhone application. Finally! [THR]
• Equally exciting: Universal movies are coming to your Playstation. [THR]

The deeply wrong Jim Cramer took to the airwaves this morning to defend himself against cruel vaudevillian Jon Stewart, telling the Today Show's Meredith Vieira that sometimes it's OK to be wrong.

The Daily Show's now-famous takedown of CNBC was peppered with embarrassing quotes by Fast Money host and comically inept market prognosticator Jim Cramer. Cramer thinks this is "absurd," and frankly his feelings are hurt.

Amid the weakest stock-market close in 12 years, Nouriel "Dr. Doom" Roubini decided to scare everyone further, by telling CNBC our depression will last three years, unless maybe we void all mortgages.

CNBC is on fire! Just like the economy. After being lambasted for being catastrophically wrong about everything its anchors and reporters are paid to understand, the business network is actually enjoying its notoriety.

• Marty Peretz, former owner of the New Republic, is buying back the mag with a group of investors led by former Lazard exec Laurence Grafstein. [Politico]
• The New York Times Co. has successfully raised $225 million by selling off 21 floors of its Eighth Avenue office building. [NYT]
• "Was last week the worst one in CNBC's 20-year history—or the best?" asks the Times today. Thanks in part to Jon Stewart, we're pretty sure it was its worst, but ratings are up so CNBC execs aren't complaining. [NYT]
• Carl Icahn is stepping up his effort to take control of Lionsgate. [Variety]
• McClatchy, which publishes 30 daily newspapers, says it plans to slash 1,600 jobs, or 15% of its work force, as well as cut salaries across the board. [WSJ]
• Mag covers with Barack Obama have performed well, by and large. [NYP]
• Watchmen was No. 1 at the weekend box office, grossing $55.7 million. [EW]
• The Tribeca Film Festival announced its May lineup today. [THR]

CNBC personalities like Rick Santelli and Charles Gasparino have done their loudmouthed best to hone the financial network's laissez-faire bonafides. Good luck holding that stance if CNBC's troubled parent company seeks a bailout.

Who's to blame for the economic mess? Not CNBC, says CNBC anchor Erin Burnett! "Everyone in this country knew there was a housing bubble," she told Bill Maher last night. Is she the new Santelli?

CNBC hires only the finest financial minds, such as Erin Burnett. You say the Great Depression was bad? She says: "The invention of the chocolate chip cookie." Game. And. Match. [Click to watch]

• Got an idea for how Arthur Sulzberger Jr. might be able to rescue the struggling New York Times? He now says he'll "consider anything." [NYO]
• Hachette plans to leave Midtown for cheaper space near Wall Street. [NYP]
• Josh Schwartz is finishing the pilot for an as-yet-untitled Gossip Girl spin-off that will be tied into GG's season finale on May 11. [NYO]
• Depressing: The story of the 55-year-old former TV Guide editor who is now an unpaid intern—yes, unpaid intern—at wowOwow.com. [LAT]
• Why did Jon Stewart go off on Rick Santelli? An unnamed "on-air host" claims Stewart is "bizarrely obsessed with" with the CNBC reporter. [Dealbreaker]
• Speaking of Stewart, Slate's The Big Money would like you remind you that Jon Stewart is not actually a journalist. Yea, thanks for that. [TBM]

Jon Stewart has at least four horsemen in his apocalypse: CNBC, the two other financial networks and Octo-Mom. And the Daily Show host isn't done talking about any of them.

• HarperCollins is launching a new imprint which will focus on "pop culture, sports, style and content derived from the Internet." Clever! [NYT]
• Sony Pictures is cutting 300 employees, or 4% of its workforce. [LAT]
• YouTube and Universal are in talks to build a "hub" for music videos. [WSJ]
• Jon Stewart went to town on CNBC last night, in case you missed it. [Portfolio]
• For some reason, NBC has decided to bring back Heroes next season. [THR]
• In the first two months of this year, 7,453 jobs were lost at media companies. You know, just in case you're keeping track or whatever. [THR]

If David Letterman's extended fracas with John McCain taught us anything, it's that would-be opinion leaders will pay for canceling on TV hosts. On tonight's Daily Show, Rick Santelli and his network paid dearly.

Poor Jim Goldman! The CNBC reporter keeps coming up empty-handed on Apple scoops. His latest complaint: Apple didn't let him bring a laptop or BlackBerry into its annual shareholder meeting. Bloggers liveblogged it anyway!

Shouty CNBC reporter Rick Santelli is freaked out by the "moral hazard" of Obama's mortgage rescue. Conservatives on Capitol Hill fret that bailouts will result in a new bubble. What is this misplaced financial moralism?

Rick Santelli and a bunch of traders are furious! They are outraged at Barack Obama's crazy mortgage plan which will maybe stave off a couple foreclosures. [Update: New video with the best of Rick's rage!]

The stock market closed down almost 300 points today, almost equaling its November low point. CNBC anchors have been so flustered all day that they can barely speak English, as this clip illustrates.

What's screaming CNBC madman Jim Cramer been up to? Putting on a Burger King mask in order to infiltrate a slumber party full of 14 year-olds. There's no taking this one back, Jimmy. Everyone knows.

• More magazine closures may be on the way at Condé Nast. [NYO]
• Time Warner posted a fourth-quarter loss of $16 billion. [AP]
• Bill Keller says there are "deadly serious" discussions taking place at the New York Times about charging for access to the paper's website. [E&P]
• Obama campaign manager David Plouffe has signed a seven-figure deal with Viking to write a book about last year's presidential election. [AP]
• Thanks to Ron Burkle, Wal-Mart customers can no longer pick up copies of magazines like People, Sports Illustrated and Time. [NYP]
• Jonathan Wald is leaving CNBC. [CNBC]
• Ticketmaster and concert promoter Live Nation are close to a merger. [WSJ]