Hope a Fox News production assistant has been dispatched to pick up a big box of cupcakes: right-wing cable blowhard Bill O'Reilly is celebrating his 59th birthday today. Fellow News Corp. employee (and Irishman) Keith Kelly is turning 54. Guy Ritchie is celebrating his 40th. Manorexic fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld is 75 (although he tells people he's only 70). Ryan Phillippe is 34. Nightlife vet Tracy Westmoreland is 52. British actor Colin Firth is 48. Golfing great Arnold Palmer is 79. Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry is 58. And Sanjaya Malakar, the former American Idol contestant best known for his hair styling talents, is turning 19.

After posting our positively gorgeous presentation of the most horrific sex scenes to ever grace the big screen, we're delighted to learn of two new additions to the list. At a recent screening for Then She Found Me, starring Matthew Broderick, Colin Firth, and Helen Hunt (where has she been hiding by the way?), ex-couple Helen and Matthew gleefully dished to the NY Daily News on just what to expect during two reportedly not-so-steamy sex romps featured in the film. As the reporter informs us: