A concert over the weekend in Colorado turned ugly when fans began rioting, burning down vendor tents and throwing people through windows. This might sound like a Juggalo event, but no... it was a Earth, Wind & Fire concert.

There have been conflicting stories from the son of a sheriff's deputy who was beaten by Denver cops in 2009, and the cops who beat him on video. According to two eyewitnesses: "It was very, very vulgar. It was brutal."

Primaries just happened! Former World Wrestling Entertainment Executive Linda McMahon won the Republican Senate nomination in Connecticut, performing [wrestling joke] on her opponents. In Colorado, Obama-backed incumbent Senator Michael Bennet beat challenger Andrew Romanoff for the Democratic Senate nomination.

Dan Maes, a silly Republican running for Colorado governor, says that his potential Democratic challenger, Denver mayor John Hickenlooper, is "converting Denver into a United Nations community" via his efforts to promote bike-riding, which "could threaten our personal freedoms." Seriously.

Poor Ken Buck, the Tea Party's favorite Colorado senate candidate. Democrats have him on 24/7 gaffe surveillance, and have just released audio of a juicy one: Buck wishes that the Tea Party "dumbasses" would stop asking about Obama's birth certificate.

Colorado gubernatorial candidate Scott McInnis has apologized for lifting pages and pages of material for a series of essays he wrote, comically titled "Musings on Water," from a judge's work 20 years earlier. He's in trouble!

Former congressman and presidential candidate Tom Tancredo is an unlikeable human; whenever GOP candidates invite him to their rallies, they immediately regret doingso. And yesterday, Tancredo went on a tear against Barack Obama, using the most epic, hilarious language available.

A Colorado woman says she drove her car into a canal because she was startled by a vampire. The vampire... of bad driving! No, actually, a real vampire. She said she crashed, because of a vampire. [KVDR]

The official residence of the mayor of Denver has a fire pole in the master bedroom, a pink grand piano, and "mini-condominiums for squirrels." Sweetest mayor's house ever, right? So why is Denver selling it?

The White House implied to a Senate candidate in Colorado that there were jobs for him if he dropped out of the race. Is this the new Sestak scandal? Yes, if by "Sestak scandal" you mean "totally normal thing."

"It's like a bad dream," said a newly nine-fingered man who lost an iPad to a robber who pulled so hard on the Apple bag intertwined around his fingers that it stripped his pinky to the bone.

An adult male is in custody after shooting two people at a middle school in Littleton, Colorado. The victims, a boy and a girl, are in a local hospital, and neither injury "appears to be life-threatening," according to local authorities.

Villainous NASCAR-branded trinket retailer and employer of last resort Wal-Mart is being accused of firing ten African employees in Colorado in order to give their jobs to "local" people (whites). Also, Wal-Mart hates god but loves cigarettes. Allegedly.

Either because they wanted conservatives blamed or because of the natural antipathy radical young leftists have for establishment liberals, two anarchists reportedly smashed up the Colorado Democratic party headquarters.

Bob Schaffer is a former member of the US House of Representatives, and he was a Republican candidate for the US Senate in 2008. Now he is selling margarita mix on the local news.

Who doesn't remember being a young lad making chump change biking around your neighborhood flinging the local paper onto doorsteps at five in the morning? Being a newsie was as much a rite of passage for America's suburban youth as it was to make some money. But kids these days, yeesh! Just no work ethic. Well, the work ethic is there, the love of newspapers too but the respect for John Q. Law isn't. Turns out in Colorado, thieves are stealing those newspaper machines at an alarming (and industrious) rate. From Folio: "Thefts of newspaper machines in a pair of Colorado counties-Greeley and Weld-have reached high levels, with the 47th Tribune newspaper dispenser stolen this week." More sordid details of the world gone wrong after the jump.