Sitting down with Rolling Stone for a rare interview, David Letterman opened up on his two-step process of alienating and courting some of his most famous guest-emies—towering pop culture figures like Madonna, Oprah, and Richard Simmons—as well as his own plans for retirement. ("I would like to go beyond [my contracted] 2010, not much beyond," he told them.) He was also asked to weigh in on the curious scheduling shift going on at his old network NBC, where top ratings-getter Jay Leno is being forcibly vacated to make room for new The Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien, and his Late Night successor, Jimmy Fallon. No one is more confused about the changes than Letterman:

Viewers who tuned in Wednesday to Late Night With Conan O'Brien were treated to very special vacation slideshow by Mummy 3 star Maria Bello, who, during a recent visit to China, skipped the Great Wall and the Forbidden City in exchange for the more fantastic tour of Misconceived Bathroom Placards. It's not just the mangled English ("handicapped" = "deformed") and malaprops that make the show-and-tell special, however. Just take a moment to enjoy O'Brien's play-by-play, abetted by headlining guest Kevin Costner's awkward sidekick chuckle. If it's not enough to make you forget Andy Richter, it's at least enough to make you forget this man once won an Academy Award. In any case, we genuinely wouldn't mind if they revived this segment every week. [NBC]

At NBC's TCA press conference yesterday, network co-chairs Ben Silverman and Marc Graboff confirmed their plans to eject Jay Leno from The Tonight Show via jerry-rigged catapult device on May 29, 2009. That gives them only three rushed days to erect a new set and change the dressing room door names from "Kevin Eubanks" to "Masturbating Bear" for the premiere of replacement host, Conan O'Brien. There to press the executives on the questionably motivated decision to fire the highest-rated name in late night (Graboff insisted they'd like to keep Leno at NBC Universal, but give us a break): Leno himself, disguised in a bald wig, goatee, and glasses:

We now have a better idea of how long Jimmy Fallon will be made to spin in an NBC.com hamster wheel before his big network debut: The Leno/O'Brien passing of the not-entirely-thought-out-torch will occur at the end of May 2009: "Jay Leno will sign off as host of The Tonight Show on May 29, 2009, with Conan O'Brien taking over the storied franchise on Monday, June 1, 2009." Asked for comment on this Jeff Zucker-hunch gone awry (that comes with a reported $40 million penalty fee to O'Brien should they pull out), NBC co-chair Marc Graboff told the TCA, "We made our decision and I'm happy with it. NBC will continue to dominate late-night." [TV Week]

Maybe it came out of concerns over his tepidly reviewed performance at Just For Laughs, where the straight-faced-challenged former SNL star delivered on the audience's darkest fears with groaner ditties like "You Spit When You Talk" and "Car Wash For Peace." In any case, the strange talent-shuffle scheduled at NBC late night —ratings-leader Jay Leno ejected from his Tonight Show job, Conan O'Brien shuffled in to take his place, and Jimmy Fallon ushered into the post vacated by O'Brien—has become just that much stranger. Dark Canadian comedy overlord Lorne Michaels announced Fallon would cut his teeth with a web-based mini-show leading up to his big gig:

• After an uncharacteristic bit of good PR, Harvey Weinstein is behaving in comfortingly predictable ways, haranguing his wife and firing people. The creative director of Halston, the label bought by Weinstein a year ago, has been ousted after designing one collection. [WWD]

You know when you get really hungry and you're just dying for a delicious, rich, chocolatey piece of... Allen Grubman? Yes, indeed, you can pick up a slice of "Allen Grubman Double Chocolate Pudding Pie" at the tourist trap the Brooklyn Diner on West 57th Street. (It happens to be a block from Grubman's office.) Here are a few other dishes named after local boldface names.

After seeing Kate Hudson's appearance on Conan last night, we have a feeling that her surfer-haired son Ryder is destined to be quite the Hot Perv On Campus. Apparently that whole birds and bees discussion that every parent dreads has not only started far earlier at Casa Hudson than most households, but little Ryder is already pursuing an advanced degree in female anatomy by studying his mom's breasts. And after hearing what life was like for Kate as a kid living with kooky king and queen of long-term unmarried celebs Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, we’re not surprised that the 9-year old Ryder is already “obsessed” with things like boobies and the all-important, very profound question of why everyone “rubs up against each other.” The premature nympho chatter around Kate’s house makes perfect sense — Goldie and Kurt were those kinds of parents. Hear for yourself after the jump.

Last night was the social event of the year for the finance community: It was the annual gala of the Robin Hood Foundation, the poverty-battling non-profit backed by banking heavyweights. The usual suspects from the worlds of hedge funds and private equity were in attendance, as were a smattering of celebs too classy for the Sex and the City premiere, including Jay-Z, Conan O'Brien, Russell Simmons, Tom Brokaw, David Byrne, and Cindy Sherman. Performances by Shakira, Sheryl Crow, and John Legend had noted hoofers like Henry Kravis, Steve Cohen, and Art Samberg tapping their feet underneath their tables.

Jimmy Fallon popped by Late Night to address yesterday's news that he would be taking over for host Conan O'Brien in 2009, an announcement greeted with wide-eyed, Christmas Eve wonder by the three TV executives who hired him, and, "Wait—that annoying dude from those DJ sketches on Saturday Night Live?" from everyone else.

Reports surfaced a few weeks ago that Jimmy Fallon, the former Saturday Night Live cast member, would replace Conan O'Brien on NBC's Late Night. This morning NBC will formally announce the move, reports the Times: "[Fallon] is expected to appear at the news conference accompanied by Lorne Michaels, the executive producer of SNL, who was also responsible for choosing Mr. O'Brien's successor on Late Night." As said in the comments last time around: "Every generation gets the late-night comedy talk show host they deserve." [Times]

Do you shop at Whole Foods? Live in gentrified Brooklyn? Read the Sunday Times with no seething sense of rage? Then Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City isn't for you. But fear not, Conan O'Brien and his pals at Late Night have developed a kinder gentler version. Sample clip after the jump.

Jimmy Fallon's long-rumored takeover of NBC's Late Night is now officially going to happen and will be announced in the coming weeks, according to anonymously-sourced reports from Fox News, Variety, Hollywood Reporter and Reuters. Current Late Night host Conan O'Brien is expected to take over from Jay Leno next year following a six-month break, and Leno is being pushed out. On Saturday Night Live, Fallon was famous for fumbling his lines by cracking up, and was recently named one of the two least funny comedians in the country. He'll take some jeers when he starts, but the critics were brutally hard on O'Brien in his early days, as well. And Fallon's already practiced being a tough, take-no-guff talk show host, as his well-liked Barry Gibb character on SNL, shown in the video after the jump (complete with another insult to the dignity of Times columnist Thomas Friedman).

Rumors that notorious SNL line-flubber Jimmy Fallon might replace Conan O'Brien following his move to The Tonight Show have been floating around for over a year now. But today, Fox News adds some real substance to all the chatter by boldly reporting that "it's a done deal." Debates will inevitably and endlessly ensue regarding Fallon's ability to fill the shoes of everyone's favorite red head (with all apologies to the late Lucille Ball), especially considering Fallon's lack of experience as a writer or improviser. More details from Fox on how Fallon is handling the news and when we can expect an official announcement, after the jump.

Revision3 videoblogger Martin Sargent began the closing keynote at Ad:tech — also a live taping of his talk show Internet Superstar — with a video tour through the conference floor. The best part was when Sargent walked over to a booth. "So you're Smiley Media?" he asked. "That's us." Sargent: "What the fuckk are you so happy about?" The Daily Show's Rob Corddry couldn't have done it better. It was a good moment for Web TV, made especially sweet by the fact that hundreds of ad buyers — Revision3's prospective clients, many of them — were looking on from the audience. Too bad that was the keynote's last watchable moment.

We were always a bit confused when Sarah Jessica Parker touted her no-nudity clause throughout all six seasons of Sex And The City, considering how often her character would appear in three-inch long skirts and see-through tops that left nothing to the imagination. Despite being the only actress out of the four leads who never technically revealed any T&A, we still walked away from the show with a near-perfect idea (unfortunately) of what SJP looks like naked. So why break out in a rash and put on earmuffs at the very mention of the word "sex," a word that's come to define her entire career, in this clip from last night's Conan?

The Roman Catholic priest accused of stalking Conan O'Brien pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and confessed to writing to the Late Night host's parents and sending DVDs to O'Brien's home and office. He promised to stay away from O'Brien for two years. "I recognize that what I did was disorderly, and I'm glad the people of New York have accepted that... I plan to return to the Archdiocese of Boston, and I hope to return to ministry duties." [Times]

Conan O'Brien was the lead guest on The Tonight Show last night, and he graciously left behind his tape measure and fabric swatches, while Jay Leno kept his passive aggressive put-downs of his scheduled usurper to a comfortable minimum. Among his entertaining anecdotes, Conan recalled the time he hosted the Emmys of two years ago—before Fox got their cracked-out claws into them, and transformed the ceremony into a one-ringed-circus presided over by Master of Women's-Footwear-Identifying-Ceremonies Ryan Seacrest. Describing the tense scene from the wings, Conan recalled an increasingly desperate stage manager giving a live play-by-play of the Charlie's Angels diva-feud that could very well have altered the course of Aaron Spelling Production cast reunion history forever.

After gleefully watching along as Martha Stewart doused Conan O'Brien with all sorts of lush-inducing cocktails, from Guinness to gin to mystery concoctions, we put on our thinking caps and sorted through our clip-clustered memories. After we cleared the cobwebs a bit, we remembered that this wasn't the first time Martha shared her love of liquor with television hosts. Loyal Defamer readers will recall her 8am rise-and-shine mixers with Meredith Vieira on The Today Show last month, and insomniacs will certainly remember her booze-on-the-brain appearance on The Late Show last week (in which she listed at least four indecipherable drinks she calls her "favorites"). But her fondness of ladylike cocktails doesn't stop there. Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer put together a burp-filled mashup of our favorite Professional Housewife's alcohol-drenched appearances of late; as always, video is available the jump.

Late-night TV host Conan O'Brien was surprised to read about his "St. Patrick's Day Stew" in Good Housekeeping given that he doesn't cook, has never tasted the dish and has no idea how the recipe got into the magazine. O'Brien devoted three prime minutes of his show, immediately following the monologue, to the recipe. He said the Hearst magazine "completely made this [recipe] up" and made a jokey statement about feeling "a little exploited." Well, Conan, just imagine how the rest of us feel: First we lost any faith in the accuracy of personal memoirs, now we can't even trust that celebrity magazine recipes aren't totally fabricated? Video after the jump.