It's been several months since Conan O'Brien's last run-in with his assistant producer-slash-archenemy Jordan Schlansky, so it's great to see their mutual animosity hasn't lessened one bit.

Long story short, Jennifer Lawrence used to own a lot of butt plugs. I mean, a lot of them.

Not in the sense that what happens locally has national ramifications, but in the sense that every local news station around the country is reporting the exact same story. Line for line.

For years, Paul Rudd has been coming on Conan's various late-night talk shows to promote his various films, and for years he's been showing the exact same clip: The "infamous wheelchair scene" from 1988's infamous E.T.-ripoff-slash-feature-length-McDonald's-commercial, Mac and Me.

Imagine you're driving around in your mustachioed car when suddenly the phone rings and it's Conan and he's wondering if he, Ice Cube, and Kevin Hart can hitch a ride with you to go buy some weed and 40s.

When local news anchors around the country learned that Mike Myers and his wife Kelly Tisdale were expecting their second baby, they all had the exact same reaction.

In solidarity with the government's shutdown, Conan O'Brien decided to temporarily lay off all his non-essential staff members.

Conan's Breaking Badapalooza took place last night, and it was as methamphantastic as advertised.

It's been nearly a week since Crazy Rhubarb Lady stole both our hearts and our rhubarb with her unintentional impersonation of a scarier, more possessed Linda Blair, and yet no one has attempted to cash in on her virality with a Crazy Rhubarb Lady parody skit — an true oddity in this day and age.

On last night's Conan, guest Aubrey Plaza was asked about the soon-to-be-infamous masturbation scene from her upcoming not-a-romantic-comedy The To-Do List.

Tuesday is Willie Nelson's 80^th birthday. To celebrate, he did what any legendary country musician would do: he recorded a fake Gandalf audition reel for The Hobbit 2 on Conan.

It's fitting that the best coverage of the third and final presidential debate was saved for last.

Second Will Ferrell video in as many hours, but this one's too good to pass up.

Even though their father has been conspicuously absent from most non-Fox News media outlets, his five sons appeared on tonight's Conan. To start off, Conan does the only sensible thing and hands out name tags then goes right after their collective love of khakis.

The Wieners Circle in Chicago's Lincoln Park is well-known for good eats and bad attitudes.

Community and Mad Men actress Alison Brie was a guest on Conan tonight and, somewhat predictably, did not address the firing of Dan Harmon. However, she did talk about her clothing optional college and working out nude. So just let your mind grapes deal with that for a minute.

Nick Offerman, a manly man's manning-up coach both on TV and off, appeared on last night's Conan in a new segment called "Nick Offerman from Parks & Recreation Reads Tweets From Young Female Celebrities."

During a commercial break yesterday, Wolf Blitzer received news that a woman was about to allege a 13-year extramarital affair with Herman Cain, who happened to be in a CNN studio with Blitzer at that very time. So as anyone who watches things very closely would do, Blitzer proceeded to ask Cain about the forthcoming allegation. And while the actual interview was entertaining in its own right, it pales in comparison to a version played by Conan O'Brien on Wednesday night's episode of Conan, which you'll find above.

Conan O'Brien ended his week-long stint in New York with a bang tonight: He officiated at the same-sex wedding of a staffer and aired the ceremony on his TBS talk show. Scott Cronick works as Conan's costume designer and he was accompanied down the aisle by Bravo's Andy Cohen before tying the knot with his partner, David Gorshein, under a chuppah that had been set up on the stage. Then it was up to Conan to make it official, as you can see in this clip from the show.

President Obama's reliance on a teleprompter to deliver big speeches has long served as fodder for his political opponents. So the news this morning that a truck carrying the presidential podium had been stolen was ready-made material for late-night TV hosts like, say, Conan O'Brien, who aired this video tonight to demonstrate what happens when the president is forced to go it alone.