Being a carefree Republican gasbag isn't always as fun as it seems. All they want to do is call President Obama the worst names and insult his heritage. And yet personally attacking the president, as Republican strategists said in what was supposed to be a private conference call today, would seriously turn off the many swing voters needed to win a general election. Having to build majority coalitions on a national scale just takes the joy out of life, doesn't it?

We missed the Michele Bachmann/Donald Trump joint "tele-townhall" this evening, because it was a Michele Bachmann/Donald Trump joint "tele-townhall." But maybe we made the wrong decision, because it sounds like it was a trip.

A reporters' conference call began earlier than scheduled this morning thanks to the several Democratic senators hosting it, who were overheard talking tactics before realizing that some reporters were already on the line. They weren't discussing anything very secretive, but they were coordinating adjective selections. It's all rigged!

Hot on the heels of this morning's second quarter earnings report was the Times Co.'s conference call, intended to explain said report. CEO Janet Robinson once again proved that she is a master of the Boston-area retail market. She just loves to bring up the opening of the new Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus in the Natick Mall! And that the Bloomingdales in Chestnut Hill moved to fancy new quarters! And like, that means more ads for the Boston Globe, ya know. But. The Bloomingdales move was completed months ago (as was the turnover of the old store to an "upscale" Macy's, if you can imagine such a thing), and we're just wondering how long she's going to beat this Nordstrom and Neiman's drum. Can those two stores alone save the Boston Globe? And then she made a fatal error. She stumbled onto our turf—thanks to our discount-loving (Jewish!) heritage.