While the biggest mystery in the Conrad Murray case is how on earth he's still somehow a licensed doctor, he's also been making the media rounds this week trying to pretend Michael Jackson's death is a mystery that hasn't already been solved with a guilty verdict.

Michael Jackson's doctor Conrad Murray has been sentenced to four years in jail over the pop star's death. He'd been, inexplicably, administering the powerful anesthetic propofol to treat amnesia—like getting chemotherapy as a haircut, as Robin Williams said.

Tom Cruise's Rock of Ages dance training was a revelation. Dr. Conrad Murray is on suicide watch. Amber Rose says Kim Kardashian totally banged Kanye. Pregnant Jessica Simpson "crave[s] cantaloupe like a crazy person." Tuesday gossip can't control its urges.

Updated. After a tawdry trial featuring a clothed death photo, a naked death photo, and a slew of unbelievable sad documents illustrating the King of Pop's demise, physician Dr. Conrad Murray has been found guilty the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson.

Big news from the Michael Jackson manslaughter trial/snuff porn festival! Dr. Conrad Murray has abandoned his original defense, that Jacko "accidentally killed himself by self-administering Propofol." It's not clear what Murray's new defense will be.

That terrible bottom-feeding tabloid called the Los Angeles District Attorney is at it again: At the manslaughter trial of Dr. Conrad Murray today, prosecutors displayed a second Michael Jackson death photo, this time showing the King of Pop naked "at the time of autopsy." The photo is here, if you're so inclined. [Image via Getty]

Jessica Simpson might be pregnant, unless it's just an unflattering shirt. Demi and Ashton might be breaking up. Lindsay Lohan gets reinvented as "Lyndsy." Nicole Richie's boobs look big. Wednesday gossip is hysterical about pregnancy.

The manslaughter trial of Dr. Conrad Murray began today with Los Angeles District Attorneys laying out their argument that Murray—Michael Jackson's personal physician—is responsible for the pop singer's death. Among the exhibits (along with a photo of Jackson's body) was this recording, taken from Murray's iPhone, of a clearly messed-up Jackson talking about concert plans. The addled tragedy of Jackson's life is well-known at this point, but nothing's really hammered it home quite like this tape.

A terrible bottom-feeding tabloid called the Los Angeles District Attorney published a picture of Michael Jackson dead on a gurney today, in a gossip rag called The Prosecution's Opening Statements Against Dr. Conrad Murray. You can see it here.

HLN hopes Dr. Conrad Murray's trial for the manslaughter trial of Michael Jackson will be as good a ratings boon as Casey Anthony's trial for the manslaughter of her daughter, even though Nancy Grace will barely be around this time, because she's busy doing this.

Tareq blames everything on Journey, then nuzzles a whoremonger and poses sexily in bed. Naomi Campbell blames her bad personality on abandonment issues. Kate Middleton spends four hours doing her hair. A male TV actor comes out of the closet. Tuesday gossip stopped believin' years ago.

A disfiguring dance floor accident forced David Arquette into rehab. Eva Longoria rebounds with Penelope Cruz's brother. T.I. gets "frisky" in jail. James Franco: "Maybe I'm just gay." Thursday gossip hits rock bottom.

Elisabeth Moss files for divorce. Jailbound Lindsay Lohan gets a facial. Michael Jackson's kids will take the stand to discuss his drug use. Tuesday gossip puts its best face and worst faith forward.

Snooki avoids spending the night in jail. Levi Johnston's ex-girlfriend denies he knocked her up. Casey Affleck has more trouble on his hands. Oh, and there's a big wedding happening today. It's time for a delayed installment of Saturday gossip.

Facing arrest, LiLo frantically emails her richest friends, then posts bail. Did Nicole Kidman get a boob job? Kevin Jonas and his wife sleep in separate beds. Jenna Bush keeps getting embarrassed by her dad. TGIFriday gossip.

We are not entirely ruling out the possibility this is an elaborate PR exercise — but Conrad Murray, the doctor accused of giving Michael Jackson a lethal dose of anaesthetic, apparently treated a woman aboard a US Airways jet. [AP]

Without lip gloss, will we even recognize her? Tiger Woods consults Buddhist prayers on his Blackberry. Michael Lohan pops the question to Kate Major. Whoopi Goldberg is on Team Jesse James. Wednesday's gossip roundup has seen a ghost.

Sandy is afraid divorce will make Jesse crazy. Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber aren't breaking up. Dennis Hopper has to shell out fat alimony payments. Michael Jackson's doctor won't cop a plea. Tuesday's gossip is due in family court.

Alex McCord drank while pregnant. Bethenny Frankel found a maternity bikini. Sandy B is def divorcing Jesse James. Coca-cola killed Michael Jackson somehow. Simon Cowell's wedding will be a giant publicity stunt. Monday's gossip was sent to bed without supper.

TMZ have spoken to "multiple sources" familiar with the good doctor's legal strategy, which is to claim that he stepped out of the room only to find that Jackson had administered a deadly dose of anaesthetic Propofol in his absence.