The internet has always been a natural habitat for the paranoid and angry, but it's never been as easy to mobilize your fellow conspiracy theorists than it is today. So why does the super-sophisticated conspiracy-troll machine draw diagrams like a 1st grader?

Three-year-old Gracie Lynn was eating breakfast with her parents at a Bob Evans in Evansville, Ind. this week when she noticed a man dressed as Santa Claus sitting alone in a booth. Not one to leave the bringer of presents to eat alone, she simply walked over and sat down across from him. Her mother told WFIE that the two talked "like they'd known each other for years." What does this little girl know? And was that the real Santa Claus?

While the official word is that comedy legend Joan Rivers died of complications from throat surgery—namely, oxygen deprivation that led to irreparable brain damage—we'll never know exactly how she died, because her daughter Melissa Rivers asked doctors not to perform an autopsy.

I received a dick tip today regarding the picture above (via James Franco's Instagram), which was taken while Franco and Seth Rogen filmed Naked and Afraid:

Damn. After launching a petition to have his amazing laser cat photo run in his high school year book, Schenectady High School senior Draven Rodriguez will have to settle for the significantly less exciting prospect of posing for another photo with his cat and the school's principal—and her chihuahua. Sounds like someone was jealous...

The Justice Department indicted FedEx Thursday on federal charges that accuse the company of having conspired with illegal online pharmacies to deliver controlled substances and other pharmaceuticals purchased by people without prescriptions.

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, the only prisoner of war held by the enemy in Afghanistan, was freed last week after a deal by the U.S. to exchange him for five Taliban fighters at Guantanamo. But is he a turncoat? And did the White House sell out America to secure him? Here's what we know.

A leading pro-gun organization claims the U.S. Department of Agriculture is buying up ammo for a "confrontation with American citizens" to finally set up the Obama dictatorship. See, all that ATF and FBI action was just a socialist fakeout.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the armed crazy folks are still armed and crazy.

An Oberlin professor has accused another professor of trying to murder him. In response, the alleged would-be murderer is suing his accuser for sullying his good name. Life in academia can be killer.

They've shoved health care down your throat, and they've tried to take your cows' freedom of movement away. What will Hussein Obummer and his commissars do next? He'll seize your state's attack choppers and leave you at the mercy of martial law, that's what. Wake up, sheeple!

Last year, when it was announced that International Business Times had bought the shrinking Newsweek brand, some media organizations started asking questions about IBT's connection to a shady Korean-born Christian minister. Now we have some new, weird info on that connection.

Prog rock. It's socially aware. It's high concept. It's the Nostradamus of 1970s pot-smoking teens. And it totally knew the Trade Center towers were going down in a (thermite) fireball, man.

Sirhan Sirhan — the man convicted of assassinating Robert F. Kennedy — was moved in a "routine" transfer to a San Diego facility on Friday, which was also the 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Corrections authorities are calling it an "unfortunate coincidence." Theorists of conspiracy, have at it.

A civilian Navy official scored a nearly $2 million dollar contract for his ne'er-do-well mechanic brother to illegally produce "unmarked and untraceable" silencers for AK-47s, patterned after car mufflers, allegedly to sell to the Navy SEAL team that killed Osama bin Laden, according to federal court documents and a Washington Post article published today.

Kevin Shields, the extremely wise and plugged-in founder of fuzz-gods My Bloody Valentine, just dropped a bomb on the British public: Brit-pop—the "Cool Brittania"-era explosion of ghastly, derivative rock'n'roll from the likes of Oasis, Blur, Pulp, and any other number of one-word bands—was in fact a conspiracy foisted on the Western world by British intelligence agencies. I mean, it's so obvious once you think about it.

Here's a good journalism #protip: If the main source for your bombshell NSA article is a guy who thinks that President Obama is gay and that President Bush has his poop classified, you may not actually have the scoop you think you do.

Remember the '90s? Snap bracelets? 'N Sync? Friends? Accusing the Navy of taking down a U.S. passenger plane with a missile? That's right—our favorite '90s conspiracy theory is back, thanks to a new documentary purporting to show "new evidence" that TWA Flight 800 crashed because it was hit by a missile. Here's everything you need to know.

Every year, some 18,000 people between the ages of 5 and 34 die in car accidents, the leading cause of death for that age bracket. Which makes a fiery wreck either a sadly unsurprising way for a 33-year-old to die... or the perfect cover for a CIA assassination.

Naomi Wolf—the author, Thought Leader, and political consultant/non-consultant—has been following the story of Edward Snowden, and she has decided to share her thoughts on Facebook. Specifically, Wolf wishes to convey her "creeping concern" that Snowden "is not who he purports to be." Who is he, then? Signs point to his being one of them. You know: THEM.