We're not sure how to break this to you. So we'll just say it: People in China go to Ikea just to hang out. And sleep on the beds.

Have you ever used Zicam Cold Remedy? Did you subsequently lose your sense of smell, for life? If not, consider yourself lucky.

The noble American mall has been killed by the recession. Already dead! So is there a trend piece to be written, still? Yes. Can we sum it up in one sentence? Yes we can:

Are you enamored with the fast-forward capabilities of your futuristic 'Tivo' device—but sad that you're missing all those commercials? Tivo has figured out a way to implant ads over skipped ads. Technology is wonderful.

Finally, someone has combined the most puzzling qualities of Snuggies and Park Slope Parenthood into one atrocious product: the "Peekaru."

A crippling recession that's forced thousands of people into tent cities, eating dog food, is no reason to penalize our nation's dogs. So brave Americans are buying more gratuitous dog things than ever!

The Snuggie-Slanket wars have been joined—by the "Sealpelt." It's only $400. Yep. [via Likecool.com]

American buying culture is still alive and well! If the hullabaloo over a new store is any indication. Britain's popular Topshop chain has finally come to New York. Today in Soho, there was much rejoicing.

It's amusing to watch retailers squirm and cry about disappointing holiday sales. What part of "we don't have money" don't they understand? That's what happens when you balance an economy on consumerism and debt!

The power is yours! Prices are slashed, you can return anything, you can haggle for discounts. Designer gear was flying off the racks at Barneys this weekend. It's all so tragic!

Hot on the heels of their gripping exposé of what it's like inside an American Idol taping (apparently that studio is much smaller in person, and there's a man wandering the aisles prompting the audience to applaud!) the NY Times continues their series Things On the West Coast That Don't Begin To Exist Until We Acknowledge Them Years After the Fact with a look at The Grove. What to make of the dancing-waterist, most trolleytastic consumption experience west of the Rockies? Best to submit yourself willingly to this seductive simulacrum of Main Street, U.S.A., filled with all the ma n' pa Apple Stores and charming cellphone accessory carts of your youth: