Poor St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church, which sat right down by the World Trade Center, was destroyed on 9/11. It still hasn't been rebuilt. You know whose fault that is? That's right: hateful Muslins and their Muslin-loving supporters.

Rev. Mark Gruber, a Benedictine monk and former professor at Saint Vincent's College, was fired last year after the school accused him of downloading underage gay porn on a shared computer. Did the school knowingly accuse an innocent man?

Stephen Hawking's new book, The Grand Design, is a nuanced analysis of the intertwining of metaphysics and physics through the ages. But all anyone wants to talk about is that the book says God wasn't needed to create the Universe.

To tastefully honor the late Princess Diana on the anniversary of her death, a Chinese lingerie company made this ad urging you to "Feel the Romance of British Royalty." That's so thoughtful. [Daily Mail]

Incredibly popular Internet linkdump Reddit was informed by its corporate parent, Conde Nast, that it could not sell ads supporting Proposition 19, California's marijuana legalization ballot initiative. So Reddit figured out how to preserve its soul and screw Conde, too.

Strident renegade Starbucks bagel linguist Lynne Rosenthal says she'll never patronize Starbucks again.

Flushing, Queens is home to a wonderful international tableau of residents, representing the entire Asian diaspora. So you can imagine how much it sucks for the white people, right? You ever go to one of those Asian grocery stores? Weirdo!

The backers of the "Ground Zero" "Mosque"—a proposed Muslim community center in an old Burlington Coat Factory building—say they'll include a 9/11 memorial in their building. So every posturing idiot, shut up please. What's that, Abe Foxman?

Oooo, it's a racial-cultural-media controversy of the most delicious sort! Essence magazine has hired a white lady as its new fashion director. Is that bad? Or, perhaps, not bad? We'll tell you what we think below—then, everyone argue!

Last night, the NYC Landmarks Preservation Commission met to discuss possibly designating a building on Park Place, north of Wall Street, as a landmark. Of course, the hearing was not about architecture. It was about saving us from THE OTHER.

Geologists "have taken to Twitter" over a proposal to remove serpentine as California's state rock because it can contain asbestos. We're on the geologists' side, because asbestos-containing minerals seem like totally appropriate symbols of California. [NYT]

Why does Mike Bloomberg hate Mister Softee?

Chicago mayor Richard Daley harangued anti-Wal-Mart reporters: "You accept it there because most of you live in the suburbs, right?..But you will question it here in the city of Chicago." Then he stuck a gun up their butts. Well—mentally.

The Sun reports on an important developing story in Scotland: A "STUNNED" mother of two has discovered a chocolate "shaped like a WILLY" and is demanding an apology from its manufacturer, Cadbury's. "It is vile," she says. [The Scottish Sun]

New York lawmakers are considering a proposal to change the name of the state's Office of Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities to something without the word "Retardation" in it. Unintended consequence alert: Could New York lose its reputation for surliness?

University of Miami music professor Doug Bickel (pictured) was either, A) forced out because he's a sexual-harassing, weed-smoking maniac, or B) resigned after pressure from a jealous homophobic fellow pianist. Doug Bickel is either A) awesome or B) fucked up.

America's greatest controversy right this minute: Why is Michael Jordan wearing a Hitler mustache in Hanes ads? Is it because Hanes is crap, and Michael Jordan is an asshole? Makes sense, if you think about it. Carry on. [Adfreak]

Whether anyone likes it or not, "Everybody Draw Mohammed [sp?] Day" is here, thanks to the unstoppability of internet memes. Muslim reactions have ranged from reasonable to unreasonable. But the reaction of the day's (unintentional) creator sums it up best.

In 2007, Swedish artist Lars Vilks drew a series of cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a dog, with the intention of examining political correctness in art. He received international condemnation and death threats. Yesterday, he was attacked. Enough already.

Walking away from your hopelessly underwater mortgage: everyone's doing it! But a new study says that these "strategic" defaults ("strategic"= commonsensical) are driven by anger and fear, not rational calculation. Well. There are plenty of reasons to be angry.