Chocolate milk! Going inside of your child's body, and doing who knows what to Aedynn's delicate little organs! In our nation's capital, the number one education is this: How chocolatey is too chocolatey?

Last week an ad was emailed to J. Crew customers featuring a photo of the company's president and creative director Jenna Lyons and her son in which she was painting his toenails pink. A caption below the picture read: "Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon." Oh, fun. Good for her. Good for him. Right? Wrong. This is an outrage!

Rebecca Black's "Friday" is so terrible that… her mom and the production company that made the song and video are fighting over it. A "Friday" legal battle is brewing, and it's not about who should be sent to Music Prison over the song.

Last week, Fox News' Bret Baier was grilled by Jon Stewart regarding the network's "hard news" objectivity. And while Baier asserted its legitimacy, on tonight's Daily Show, Stewart unearthed some questionable (read: driving-the-narrative-via-baseless-opinion) statements by Baier's boss, Bill Sammon.

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart—during an "Indecision 2012" segment—opened with discussion of potential Republican presidential candidates for 2012 and the need for them to desperately appeal to what amounts to a pretty ridiculous base of voters.

On tonight's Real Time, Bill Maher declared that Republicans believe in "being against everything [Obama] is for" and "must nominate for 2012 a man who is the exact opposite of Obama." He even created one for them! Meet Karab Amabo.

Tonight, in a segment more fitting for 30 Rock than The Daily Show, Jon Stewart considered the problem that NBC News has because of the fact that it's owned by GE, whose products often appear in controversial news reports.

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart opened with a new segment called "When Reporters Attack." His first target? HLN loudmouth Nancy Grace, and her hilarious fight with a meteorologist who said that radiation from Japan probably wouldn't harm Americans

Here are two things you could do with your iPhone last week that you might not be able to next week: learn about how to fake-"cure" yourself from being gay, and avoid DUI checkpoints. It's outrage time in the App store!

On tonight's Late Night, best guest ever Brian Williams stopped by for a chat with Jimmy Fallon. When the subject of conversation switched to Libya, Fallon got uncharacteristically angry/political and began bashing President Obama and his lack of communication.

Over the weekend, the Unites States—along with France and England—began military attacks on Libya in an attempt to remove murderous dictator Muammar el-Qaddafi from power. Tonight, The Daily Show returned, and Jon Stewart questioned the coalition's actions.

On tonight's Factor, Bill O'Reilly welcomed controversial conservative talking head Ann Coulter on to discuss the nuclear crisis currently unfolding in Japan. For some reason, Coulter—pretty adamantly—wanted to let us know that radiation is good for us!

When Gilbert Gottfried was fired from the role of the Aflac duck for making terrible tsunami jokes, he was just the latest in a long line of insurance spokesmen to get fired amid public outrage. (Well, there's another one.)

During last night's Real Time, Bill Maher decried shows like Secret Millionaire—which he claims "try and put a happy ending on America's enormous wealth disparity"—in a rant against the glamorization/idolization of the rich by the poor.

A social media genius at Bing decided the tsunami was a good way to boost their brand recognition on Twitter. This morning Bing tweeted: "How you can #SupportJapan -For every retweet, bing will give $1 to Japan quake victims, up to $100K."

The Upper Breast Side is Manhattan's leading lactation and breastfeeding resource center and retail store with a pun in its name. A valuable resource for befuddled and sore-titted moms. Naturally, a cabal of wealthy bastards want to destroy it.

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart pointed out the hypocrisy of Congressman Peter King's crusade against Muslim Americans, considering his ties to terrorist group the IRA. Tonight, Stewart picked apart King's response to the accusations. They didn't wash.

On the day President Obama was inaugurated, he promised to close the detainment center at Guantanamo Bay in one year's time. That never happened. Yesterday, it was announced that Obama would resume trials at Gitmo! Here's Jon Stewart's take.

Rep. Peter King recently stated that he would hold Congressional hearings to question American muslims who, he believed, hadn't done enough to stop terrorism. But what about King's own ties to the Irish Republican Army? Tonight, Jon Stewart investigated.

On tonight's Daily Show, Tea Party Senator Rand Paul stopped by to chat with Jon Stewart. The most interesting portion of their discussion dealt with how much government regulation is too much. For Paul, the answer was, well, any!