Despite our ongoing educational campaign about the fact that bullshit "toning shoes" are bullshit, the segment grew by more than 800% in 2009. BIG SIGH. The ironic part? Obese people barely have any bullshit products to call their own!

Model-wrangling billionaire Ron Burkle scored a victory this morning in his battle to grab control of Barnes & Noble, when an advisory service recommended that shareholders vote for Burkle's slate of directors. What's B&N chairman Leonard Riggio (pictured) doing wrong?

Has soulless Starbucks reached a new low? Not content with fighting its own customers over the vissicitudes of bagel grammar, the cold corporate coffee chain reportedly ejected patrons directly into the teeth of yesterday's vicious NYC storm. Oh! The humanity!

Blockbuster—an anachronism in a Netflix/ on demand world—will be filing for bankruptcy next month, according to the LA Times. Fear not, sentimental veterans of many a "Blockbuster night" (making out): the Blockbuster brand shall not disappear.

Billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle is trying to get his model-caressing paws on Barnes and Noble, the bookstore where you love to sit right on the carpet and read, which is gross. Anyhow. B&N says Burkle will "destroy"(!) it.

American Apparel, Dov Charney's skeevy apparel empire, is in mortal financial peril. Now, the chattering has already begun: Could the company survive without Dov Charney at the helm? Well, of course. How else would it survive?

Wal-Mart's single best-selling item: bananas. Huh. See I would have guessed tainted meat.

American Apparel is having a terrible summer. First, their photo-based, no-uglies-allowed hiring practices got them lots of bad PR (from us). Simultaneously, the company was, you know, financially collapsing. The latest blow: potential delisting from the stock exchange.

Pepsi cola has already been revealed to be the pinnacle of the entire universe. But that has not resulted in Pepsi's "Max" chemical product beating Coke's similar chemical product in market share. Solution? War.

Yesterday came the first real signs that American Apparel could soon face bankruptcy. Today, the news for Dov Charney's breast-covering empire grows darker: a shareholder lawsuit, rumored store closings, a stock that's still plummeting, and disgruntled employees emailing us.

CBS's corporate advertainment show Undercover Boss was wildly successful at making propaganda palatable and, indeed, superficially desirable. Now, CBS is ordering up a companion series. But will it also help workers internalize a self-destructive dynamic? Oh you bet!

American Apparel's stock plunged 27 percent today after the company's long-delayed second quarter financial results revealed falling sales and dim prospects for improvement. Is bankruptcy on the horizon?

Billionaire Clinton pal and model wrangler Ron Burkle is salivating metaphorically at the prospect of getting his hands on Barnes & Noble, the once-mighty book chain that's now in play. Why?

Do a million great ads offset a crappy product? Not quite.

Mark Hurd, the CEO of Hewlett-Packard, is resigning after a company investigation into sexual harassment allegations against him found "violations of the company's standards of business conduct." No replacement's been named yet. [NYT. Pic: Getty]

Barnes & Noble is putting itself up for sale! Remember when everyone thought B&N would become the Wal-Mart of book selling, an indomitable corporate force controlling the literary world? Boy how wrong that was, huh?

Facebook is going to postpone its IPO until 2012, to get its shit together first.

American Apparel's stock nosedived this morning after its accounting firm, Deloitte & Touche, announced that it would no longer work with Dov Charney's fashion cult because the company's financial controls may not be reliable.

Last night at BB King's on 42nd St., Albert Gore III—the 27 year-old son of our nation's most almost President—faced an opponent in the Corporate Boxing Challenge. We were live on the scene, to cover this historic violence.

Incredibly vain parents are actually buying Huggies horrible denim diapers, so much so the brand regained the market share they recently lost to Pampers. This can only mean one thing: diaper war.