You might think that American Apparel would thrive in the recession, with their affordable clothes and dirtbag-embracing ads. But you'd be wrong, since an investor just rescued them from defaulting on a loan.

Yesterday we heard rumors that Viacom has introduced a new system for screwing its vendors out of getting paid on time. Today, more insight into the Kafka-esque world of "InvoiceWorks," from a real vendor!

Thoroughly discredited PR man Mark Penn enjoys being dominated by Rachel Maddow, and charging outrageous fees to package common sense as insight for out-of-touch corporate mouthbreathers. Today: poor people like cheap things!

Porn porn porn. Cable companies are hoping to "quietly" sell enough pay-per-view porn to make, you know, a profit. Ad Age wrote a whole story about it just so it could use this quote:

Do you know what today is? It's the 20th anniversary of Time Warner. The massive merger that created the media behemoth happened on March 4, 1989. Time Warner was the future! And now?

Well now, let's just open the paper and have a look at the...OHMIGOD, what the hell, Jesus Christ, is the entire world economy collapsing today, worse than ever? Yes it is.

Recycling last year's Black History Month stock photography to save a buck: that's the Wal-Mart way. Come on, evil corporations. Fake diversity is 'Wack, Yo,' as minorities say:

Shocker: PepsiCo hired the profound geniuses behind the Breathtaking, universe-shifting multimillion-dollar tweaking of the Pepsi logo to redesign Tropicana's packaging. It was a complete and utter failure! Yet another reason "rebranding" is dumb:

Ha: Mazda, the corporate owner of merman Michael Phelps, made Phelps apologize to the entire nation of China for inhaling THC-laden smoke, from a bong. Just imagine the devastating effects that had, on China.

Recently the New York Times explained how hard it is to live on $500k a year. Twice! Now the paper reports: nobody's paying for business lunches any more! Is this just a made-up thing? Yes.

Courage; Good Judgment; The confidence to forge ahead. These are just a few of the attributes that businessmen who own private jets possess. Frugal businessmen who've given up their jets, however, are bitch-ass punks.

Last year Pepsi spent several hundred million dollars on a new logo. Everyone figured they had just ripped off the Obama logo. But now an internal document from the branding company has surfaced: Breathtaking bullshit.

"American Boy" singer Estelle probably went into music for some soulful reason, but now you have to wonder, if it's all just Crystal Light commercials, why should anyone go into music at all?

American companies spare no expense making their employees pay for the recession! Today's cuts: lunchtime, rubber bands, your, uh, job, and a full memo from Reed Business about everyone getting closer, and closer:

It used to be that private planes inspired hatred simply because their occupants were probably over-wealthy environmental hypocrites. But thanks to the recession, private jets are an even more radioactive populist issue. Fly and die!

Your stupid corporate cost-cutting tips are pouring in, like the free water you used to enjoy at the office. Today's cuts: food, water, light, computers, trash cans, and everything at Harper's Bazaar. And dignity:

Your stupid corporate cost-cutting stories (and photo, above) are getting worse better and better! Today's cuts: plants, scanners, entire offices, and all appreciation of employees, period:

Yesterday we asked you to tell us the asinine things that companies are doing in the name of cost-cutting. Today, the first worthy entrants: every expense is non-essential, you know:

Last month we predicted ten companies and industries that would actually come out as recession winners (crazy, right?). It's time to check on how our predictions are doing! (Hint: f'in awesome):

Useless middle managers, desperate to stay busy and avoid layoffs, are coming up with ever dumber corporate responses to the recession. We will discover and mock them all, with your assistance.