Did you feel sorry for Rod Blagojevich, who just wanted to sell one measly U.S. Senate seat to pay his kids' college tuition and meet mortgage payments? Don't. He also blew $400,000 on clothes as Illinois governor.

A taped conversation played during Rod Blagojevich's corruption trial reveals that he considered naming Oprah to the Senate. "Nobody would assail this pick," he said. "She's a kingmaker…she made Obama." Shoulda picked her! She would have called off the cops.

After banning Rod Blagojevich from tweeting from the court room Monday, the judge in his corruption trial has now "admonished" him "to avoid making any facial or other expressions" during proceedings, which he had been doing, annoying jurors and prosecutors.

The judge in Rod Blagojevich's corruption trial has told him to stop tweeting in court.

Illinois' alleged horrible criminal ex-governor, Rod Blagojevich, is very excited for the start of his corruption trial, which he's been promoting on television and radio since forever. Is he actually going to tweet nonsense throughout the trial? What a muppet.

[Failed Celebrity Apprentice contestant Rod Blagojevich was looking for a fight today when he arrived at court in Chicago to defend himself on corruption charges. Image via Getty]

Can you believe it's been 18 months since former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was busted for being a total crook? Today, Blago and his swooping mane finally get their trial. What do we have to look forward to?

The SEC's not the only government agency that parties hard: employees of the Minerals Management Service smoked meth, watched porn, and took gifts from the industry they were supposed to be regulating—the offshore drillers! SEC guys are pussies! [AP]

Almost 24,000 people have died in Mexico's drug war since 2006, nearly five times the number of US troop deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan. An NPR investigation suggests that the Mexican government is helping one cartel rule Ciudad Juarez.

A judge has dismissed the suit brought against Variety over their 'Iron Cross' Oscar shakedown.

Salty Sea Dog and former congressman Eric Massa (D-Public Showers) is under investigation by the FBI for corruption. Uh oh! His campaign made large, suspicious payments days after he announced that he would not seek reelection.

Tragic news out of DC: with the passing of legendary Democratic Congressman John Murtha, an entire lobbying firm has gone out of business.

Joshua Newton, the director who thought a $400,000 Oscar campaign in Variety would buy his movie a positive review, has made good on his threat to sue the Hollywood trade.

The delightful but sadly incredibly corrupt Harlem Congressman Charlie Rangel announced a 9 a.m. press conference. A couple minutes before 9, he went before cameras to announce that he'll "temporarily" stop being the chair of the Ways and Means Committee.

Police Commissioner Ray Kelly is the most popular man in town, according to a recent poll. Kelly's approval rating is an impressive 70%—which is hilarious, because there's more news of the NYPD's corruption every day.

New York Gov. David Paterson consulted with "key Democratic leaders" over the weekend to discuss either a) his imminent resignation pending a New York Times report that he is a corrupt snuggling swinger or b) just talk about stuff.

Here are selections from Rep. Henry Hyde's 217-page FBI file, which details a four-year FBI investigation into allegations that he took bribes to steer state contracts to favored companies when he was an Illinois state senator.

Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.), who died in 2007, was a staunch defender of "traditional values" and a prime mover in the impeachment of Bill Clinton. And according to documents obtained by Gawker, the FBI thought he was on the take.

This New York Times profile of 73 year-old Frank Serpico, legendary cop whistleblower: awesome reading. He's old, bearded, Hermit-y, interrogates trespassers with sleds, and still talks about being shot in the face. But also: has a French girlfriend! Dope. [NYT]

The TSA's looking not-so-great these days, seeing as how their uber-reactionary measures to security breaches could technically be classified as some "PT Barnum-level shit." So how do you think they react when bloggers leak their directives? Subpoenas and door-busting, naturally.