· We understand why Sharon Osbourne was all whooped up on Ellen, but our money would be on Courtney Love if their feud ever came to blows. If Osbourne had ever taken a look at Love's batshit MySpace blog, she'd know she'd be the one fighting out of her crazy-class.
· This is what happens when you trust a guy named the Sultan of Sleaze with your money.
·We're probably no more than three days away from the announcement that Chris Tucker will star in the remake of Escape from New York.
· A magnificent cock moves on, filling us with indescribable sadness.

"'I did not fuck you,' was how Courtney Love responded when told by her Seattle attorneys that she owed them up to $340,000 plus interest. That was the balance due on legal fees attorney Katherine Hendricks and O.Yale Lewis say Love incurred in a 2002 lawsuit against former members of her late husband's band, Nirvana, from which she ultimately earned at least $9 million. But the troubled rocker and widow of Kurt Cobain has now agreed to settle the attorneys' tab for an undisclosed amount, according to King County Superior Court records." [Seattle Weekly]

Who stalked whom? Comedian hottie Steve Coogan says rocker-crazy Courtney Love's a stalkie loon. (No way!) Why, Steve? Why you have to have your hands sullied in all this? We loved you so.... [Black Book]

At the height of Owen Wilson's very public personal crisis, Courtney Love uncharacteristically offered up her own, highly opinionated views on the topic—suicide and hard drugs being two subjects that run, pun only partially intended, deeply in her veins. Suspecting she knew exactly who and what led Wilson to his act of desperation, the singer told Us magazine that the culprit was Steve Coogan: A far bigger star in the U.K. than in the U.S., Coogan gained fame overseas for his TV portrayal of dim-bulbed newsman Alan Partridge. (In this clip, he fittingly admits he has no idea who Kurt Cobain is, and is baffled over why he might have taken his own life.) Coogan and Love had a brief affair, which was rumored to have caused a pregnancy, but that thankfully produced no illegitimate children—between Love's body dysmorphia and Coogan's English dental genes, the kid never stood a chance.

• Kevin Federline admits, via the latest filing in his divorce from Britney Spears, that he's worth exactly zero dollars and zero cents, and he's wanting a handout from his ex, who makes—sigh—$737,868 a month. [NYP]
  

• "I was just out of rehab, and [Steve Coogan] was right there with the drugs. I tried to warn Owen. I tried to warn his friends ... I hope from the bottom of my heart that Owen stays the hell away from that guy." [Us Weekly]
  

The emaciated husk of a formerly zaftig Courtney Love still steadfastly insists her rapid weight loss was achieved through entirely safe and natural means, with a self-devised nutritional system so effective, we wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see a chain of Courtney Love Weight Loss Centers popping up around the country. But for those concerned that even the slightest blast of guitar feedback might now turn the rocker into a human tumbleweed, Love reassures her blog readers in her trademarked pidgin prose that she's already packing the pounds back on through that most popular of snack-sized Hollywood peace offerings, the cupcake:

Forgive our naivete, but by this point we thought Courtney Love was about as messed up as she could possibly get. But the campers at Dysfunction Junction have welcomed her back with open arms, as she's mysteriously dropped more than 50 pounds and now looks like a refugee from the flesh-melting climactic scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark. London's Daily Mail has bravely gone out on a limb and decided her attitude about the emaciation is suspect:

• U2 spokesperson Bono and Penelope Cruz were spotted strolling down a beach hand in hand. Wait ... Bono's gay? [R&M]
  

Realizing that her new, streamlined body may have thrown a harsh and unwelcome spotlight on some of her regrettable surgical enhancements of the past (it became glaringly obvious after a valet accidentally cut himself on one of her jutting cheek implants), perfection addict Courtney Love took to her MySpace blog, announcing in her trademarked, crackified prose her plans to visit a leading Parisian plastic surgery unbotcher:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you finally saw Entourage's Lloyd ascend to rightful player status, holding court among throngs of adoring Gays.

...im knowklegaBLE ABOUT WHo my enemies are in th e media and they are few,. but ionce youve had as iusaid last blog a fantastical dfownfall when you get back up you have so nmuch to teach others that you didnt in your delusional failsafe bubble and although flying coach is not an option for me - just cos i have learne3dc that cheap is something i can do ins ome places and cant do in others in these few short weeks-=... [MySpace]

...oh yeah goodbye yellow brick road- they were l,ike stories big long bedtime stories- wioth very little filler buyt each song re3klated to the bnext and thats always goign to be my aeste3tic- i amy evolve and have evolved ads a amuysician and a lyriuciost but im not going to lose a few things i may lose alot of pounds but im bnot goping to lose my guitar for a who;e showp... [MySpace]

· Not only do we now have video to better illustrate yesterday's Homer vs. Ancient Fertility God post, we also have a link to this delightful animated image of what he was planning on doing with that donut. [via BoingBoing]
· Like, in the Batman movies, maybe Two-Face will actually be an evil manifestation of Harvey Dent's repressed homosexuality? [Laughs] Now, that's interesting. Sure, maybe so.
· But as far as we know, no one's yet had a chance to confront Heath Ledger about the Joker as evil manifestation of repressed homosexuality.
· We take back what we said the other day, because now Courtney Love has never looked better.

· "I can answer that with three letters: N-B-C. Very, very good writing team. Very, very good cast. The network fucked it up because they intervened endlessly. If you really want a job to work, don't get Jeff Zucker's team to come help you because they're not funny ...." [Note: This is a (slightly) revised transcription of the quote reported by TV Week that we originally posted.]
· Courtney Love is looking better than ever.
· Is there actually a Transformers fan insane enough to bid $40,000 on a prop, or is some prankster interfering with eBay's invisible hand of commerce?
· "I really want to do a different take on the celebrity interview. The last thing I want to see is Nicole Kidman talking about what movie she's going to be in. I want to talk to Nicole Kidman's neighbor about what's going on with Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban when he's pretending not to drink." That's admirable and all, but the big question for Chelsea Lately's Chelsea Handler: Will even Kidman's neighbor be willing to slum it on an 11:30pm show on E!?

Last night Courtney Love celebrated her love for life and her 43rd year of strung-outedness with a concert at Hiro. As old Hole fans, we were super-duper-psyched to see the Widower Cobain. RSVPs were free but when we told we were from Gawker we were told it was a private party and no media was allowed. Whatevs. A friendly tipster, one of the lucky ones who got in, sent a portfolio of concert shots which we've animated for your convenience. It looks safe to say that the glamorous starlet of yore is behind us and we're back in the company of the bonkers one. Welcome back Courtney, hope you'll live through this!

• Foxy Brown found out that her boyfriend was a pimp. Then she was attacked by a hooker who pulled out chunks of her weave and stole her hearing aid. What is next for Foxy? Can it please involve 'Flavor of Love: Charm School' please please please? [NYDN]
  

• Kate Moss and Pete Doherty = Heloise, Abelard. Evidence? This is Kate: "You have touched my heart and soul you little fucker... You make me high my sweet. My skin shivers and longs to be held by you." Pete: "Smack and needle-free we shall marry in the summer and I become 10 times happier than any given smackhead. Huzzah!" Awww. (Seriously!) [Page Six]
  

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted a grocery-shopping Larry Birkhead getting a head start on Dannielynn's food-dependency issues.

If transmogrifying musical icon Courtney Love often appears to have the temperament of someone who woke up on the wrong side of the bed—assuming she spent her last abrupt slide into unconsciousness in a bed at all—it only adds to her mystique. Still, it's one thing to watch your cherished guitar heroes mouthing off at the world from afar, but quite another when that turbulence is directed at you. That's exactly what happened to aa WOW Report staffer, who reports of his ego-shattering run-in with Love following her Friday night performance at the House of Blues: