• Martha Stewart disses Donald Trump when discussing her failed version of The Apprentice; the Donald fires back with an open letter promising a world of pain. Battle of the inflated egos; let's get these two behemoths scheduled for a cage match. [Reuters]
• Morrissey used to love Maureen Dowd — until he found out she ate meat. Maybe that's why she's still single. [True to You]
• As far as we know, New York Times bestselling authors don't really troll Craigslist for ghostwriting gigs. Actually, maybe James Frey does. [Craigslist]
• Mag marketing from hell. [Big and Sharp]
• UK Maxim editor Greg Gutfeld introduces the Huffington Post style guide, Aryan Nation edition. [HuffPo]

Our value-conscious brother Consumerist has started taking after his big brother Gawk and now enjoys scouring the outer edges of Cragislist for education and amusement. Today he points us to this listing, found in the barters section, which provides a whole new way of trying to break into this godforsaken business:

Man, everything's gotta be superlative in British journalism. It's not a surprise that London's Observer says Craig Newmark's Craigslist will kill the newspapers — every newspaper says that. What's shocking is this line: "Newmark, a man so nerdish he makes Gates look like a flamboyant playboy..."

Yeah, $40 is definitely too cheap for sex.

You picked Pope Steve over His Holy Larryness, Listmaster Jim over Shiny Czar Jon. Now the Apple CEO and Craigslist CEO go head-to-head, black-turtleneck-to-black-turtleneck. Who's earned your love (or your unbridled lust)?

While we're picking stars to play the Valleywag hotties, check out this photo of Craigslist founder Craig Newmark and hunky CEO Jim Buckmaster:

• London papers cater to their demos. [BigShinyThing]
• If you're so lucky as to have a lover this Valentine's Day, remember: He spent last night cheating on you. [WSJ]
• Stoners fight for the right to, uh, be stoned: Free the Cartoon Network, dude. [SetCartoonFree]
• Big dick wants to shoot you in the face, give you a heart attack, and hit you up for some more contributions before you die. [Craigslist]
• Crisis: the Fashion Killers show has been cancelled! Could Laura Albert not find someone to play celebrity DJ and Fake Writer JT Leroy in time? Not exactly — we hear Knoop was at the show last night, though not in her Leroy costume. [Fashion Killers]
• Downtown softcore parties Rated X and Hot Fuckin' Pink might be a bit too pervy for the owners of Scenic. Poor Gawker paparazzo Nikola Tamindzic may have to shoot pornography elsewhere. [VV]

Jonathan Ive is Jobs' style guy. The industrial designer keeps it beautiful by keeping it simple. So does Jim Buckmaster, the Craigslist CEO who keeps the classifieds unadorned.

In honor of this grand, romantic, and highly profitable fabricated holiday, Gawker promises to bring you a day full of overpriced truffles and long-stemmed roses — just because we love to love. Let us whisper sweet nothings in your ear:

Craigslist's CEO amazes New Yorkers by rejecting the riches of this world:

Looking to Eat Pussy in This Blizzard

A "VERY successful" businessman with a flipped startup under his belt seeks a "one-woman relationship" — not counting his wife, of course.

You've been in this situation countless times: You've just labored through a meeting with some blank-faced NBC development people who are convinced that your brilliant idea "doesn't smell like a show," and, pacing the cold streets of Burbank, you're surprised to see that the frustrating encounter has made you visibly aroused. Covering up your unexpected tumescence with a copy of that day's Variety, you wonder where you can go for for relief. Never again shall you beat off in frustration in the Peacock's parking garage:

Is the Bay Guardian feeling threatened? Editor Tim Redmond challenged lovable geek Craig Newmark about opening Craigslist sites outside San Francisco.

• Time Warner's Q4 performances beat analysts' expectations and sent the stock price up 4 percent. Which I sentence we thought we might never write again. [NYT]
• San Francisco alt-weekly Tim Redmond editor really, really hates Craig Newmark. As all other newspaper people should too, really. [SFBG]
• Teen Vogue's Gina Sanders named Conde Nast's Publisher of the Year, which means she'll get something like a free European vacation. We really need to be moving to the publishing side. [WWD]

• We'd like to issue a formal apology to kiddie-chronicler David Amsden: When we saw the cover story for the latest New York mag, which examines the ambisexual teen "movement," we automatically assumed you were the author. But you weren't! We had you all wrong — we thought you automatically got covered that shit. Sorry to misjudge. [NYM]
• Dude, brah, we've got to get us some hot bitches for Sunday. Seriously, yo, I am NOT getting up from the leather sectional to fetch my own Budweiser. [Craigslist]
• Wait, isn't Hayden Christenson gay? [Egotastic]
• Former Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman joins the roman clef party by revealing his desire to shave former co-worker Paula Froelich's head. [Gatecrasher]
• The Oscars suck. Try something more democratic, like the Felixes. [The Felixes]
• Ashlee Simpson is David Lee Roth. Sorry, David. [CityRag]

Too adorable! Josh Kornbluth of KQED interviews Craig Newmark, and it's like watching two nerdy teddy bears have a conversation. Even an interruption by a clip of Josh with bunnies can't outcute Mr. Craigslist.

· "Now you listen here, Jakey. This might seem all silly-goose to you, Mr. Serious Actor Man, but I'm milking this thing until the Oscar nominations are out, OK? Now if you don't want to wind up snubbed, put your hand on your goddamn hip and play along!"
· Blogger Tony Pierce figures out where Heather Graham moved her birthday party (The Short Stop—nice choice) after snubbing Akbar.
· Just like in her acting career, Jessica Alba's incredible good looks obviously played no part in her success in this poll.
· Gallery of the Absurd never fails to horrify us with its artwork. Today, Britney Spears and Cheetos team up to chill us to the bone.
· A Craigslister in NY is less than thrilled with the medical accuracy of last night's Grey's Anatomy. Seriously, though: The flesh-eating bacteria? That's been around long enough to been recycled through ER three or four times, hasn't it?

From Craigslist today:

Defamer is committed to connecting eager job hunters looking to get a foothold in the entertainment business with exciting opportunities to play a support role in the inebriated-coeds-flashing-their-breasts- for-a-free-trucker-hat-and-a-lifetime-of-regrets industry. As always, Craigslist provides: