Rap music: Will it ever stop inspiring America's youth to commit multiple homicides? Not likely, if the sad case of Richard "Syko Sam" McCroskey is any indication. Because he's charged with killing four people.

Like any red-blooded American op-ed columnist, David Brooks has joined the cacophony over Jimmy Carter's "racism" remarks. But, sadly, his latest outburst won't allow comments. He's doing us all a great disfavor.

America's having rage issues these days. Celebrities, politicians and athletes are acting like jackasses. Promising young women are getting murdered. All in one one week. And it makes Nancy Pelosi cry. But that only stokes the anger. Ryan Seacrest, help!

9/11 truthers have enough signatures to get their "investigation" referendum on the NYC ballot. Goody.

President Obama announced that he will give a speech welcoming America's young students into the new school year. Conservatives, happy to fight about anything this man does, came out swinging against the President's "socialist" intentions. And they're winning!

Ack! Just when you thought kidnapping rapist Phillip Garrido couldn't get any worse, there are now rumors that the blogging religious fanatic may have killed victim Jaycee Dugard's sons. Because, you know, why not? [The Sun]

Nothing is more anti-American than telling children to stay in school, which is why Mr. T was arrested for espionage in 1984. President Obama, though, thinks he's above the law, so parents are boycotting his upcoming address to schools.

Cindy Adams' New York Post columns appear to be produced by a random word-generator machine. Her visage appears to be produced by Botox and shellac. So it is unsurprising to find that she is a Helsmley-level ratdog nut.

Rebecca Mead infiltrated Cindy's aboveground lair in a Park Ave. penthouse and recorded these ramblings about the gossipeuse's Yorkies before being chased out by Cindy's bloodthirsty wolf-celeb hybrid bodyguards:

Oh, look! Phillip Garrido, the maniac who kidnapped Jaycee Dugard 18 years ago, kept her in his horrific backyard and then twice impregnated her, has a blog! And it's scary!

If Glenn Beck is, in fact, laying the ground work for Fox News banishment, he's doing so in true, fear-mongering, overwrought style!

This here's the California backyard where Phillip Garrido, who's living residence is to the right, kept Jaycee Dugard prisoner for 18 years. He obviously gave a hoot about building codes.

Phillip C. Garrido's one sick son of a bitch. He even puts sicko Austrian man Josef Fritzl to shame. For the past 18 years, Garrido spent his time tending to one Jaycee Dugard, whom he brazenly kidnapped back in 1991.

Few celebrities touched our lives as deeply as pitchman and cocaine user Billy Mays. And, in an effort to ensure his dreams lives on, deranged mourners are affixing his likeness to anything and everything that will accommodate a sticker. [TMZ]

People are stupid. Pure and simple. Take, for example, rumors circulating that Michael Jackson, like Tupac and Elvis, still walks among us. Why would people believe such an outlandish thing? Again: they're stupid. And then there's this...

Last year, Senator John McCain demanded that Barack Obama have 100,000 town halls with him, daily, until election day. So he is loving this month. His town hall was a sleepy affair, but it's Arizona, so there was crazy!

Yesterday, we asked: "What's up with Arizona?" And we asked because of Steve Anderson, the Baptist preacher who prays for Jesus to kill the president and thinks gays should get the death penalty.

Like it is barely even about how Barack Obama was secretly born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and is the son of Malcolm X! Most of the movie is just clips of cable news people talking about the election and Obama's first few months in office. But the highlight is surely this all-time classic of unintended consequences:

David Hedrick, an injured veteran who opposes health care reform, appeared on Sean Hannity's show to gripe about being equated with Hitler's "brown-shirts." Then, because the country has gone all hyperbolic, he equates the Obama Administration with Nazis.

One guy is really "burning up the blogs" with some "controversial wishes for the President," according to MSNBC. Hey, a great excuse to publicize yet more crazy death threats against Barack Obama!