Felix Dennis is publishing's wild man! How is the former Maxim publisher and admitted (then hastily retracted!) murderer keeping himself busy these days?

Some joker slipped some pornography into an Austin Powers video at a Brooklyn public library, and a grandma was shocked when she rented it. "Ha," you might exclaim, in reaction. NYC's most objectionable assemblyman objects to your "unbelievable chutzpah"!

Marion Barry—master politician, crack aficionado, crazy man, national treasure for reporters (and still married, btw!)—says he didn't really stalk his girlfriend last weekend, as much as he had a "spat" with her, but she's unstable. Or...something.

It has been days since Empress Sarah Palin quit Alaska, forever. And no one yet knows why! Her "explanation" lacked, uh, actual coherent reasons. But there are theories.

How is Matthew Winkler, bow-tied tyrant-in-chief at Bloomberg News, quashing his staffers' dreams today? By making his underlings suffer because of a grudge he has against one of the world's most prestigious papers, according to an insider [UPDATED below].

On the one hand, Alex Jones is a (terribly entertaining) unhinged conspiracy theorist who rants about the New World Order and FEMA Concentration Camps and produces crazy movies about how 9/11 was an inside job and how Barack Obama is basically Hitler. All of this is well and good for a late-night radio talk show host! But for an elected member of the House of Representatives to appear on his show might strike some people as a sort of implicit endorsement of his more outre beliefs.

Despite the Illuminati-supported ascension of a Negro Communist to America's throne, the John Birch Society continues to boldly exist, and do things, such as oppose the New World Order, from a strip mall in Wisconsin.

Love flourishes, with the help of the internet! Are you an intensely sexual, spiritual, non-Scientologist goddess, searching for a meditative high school physics teacher for true love? Hare Krishna prostitutes a plus! The most romantic website ever is here:

The Way We Live Now: Great, if we're millionaires. And we're not, any more. So the remaining millionaires use us as a global army of slave drones for their own whimsical amusement. Their "cash money" buys us nothing. We're enraged!

Giovanni Luciano just got done spending a couple years in jail for running a big credit card scam in Bungalow 8 while impersonating a Dolce and Gabbana heir. Now he's back in New York and acting rather strangely!

Wisconsin is home of the media crazy. A TV anchorwoman in La Crosse traced those harassing emails she was getting—they're coming from inside her co-anchor's house!

Shep Smith, who's been doing his "awesomest bro on Fox" thing for years now, is finally getting some attention from the elite liberal media! The Times reports that he is not crazy, and therefore hated by his audience. Really?

Hmmmm, just what is Senator Tom Coburn suggesting, here, with his statement to a constituent about making sure "political candidates are eligible for the offices they seek"? Oh, right, he is appeasing a lunatic "birther."

We support the idea that kids should eat healthy food. Theoretically. But when it involves a crazy mom ranting against birthday cupcakes and battling Girl Scout cookies, we must demur. Meet MeMe Roth, publicist and food Nazi mother:

The free world has been protesting North Korea's 12-year prison sentence of Current journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee as unjust and outrageous. How embarrassing! Now the women have admitted their vile crimes. According to North Korea's official news agency.

Meet MeMe Roth. She is at war with the birthday cake and the living incarnation of why you are so psyched not to be a school administrator in Manhattan. This mother of two, who sends her children, ages 10 and 7, to P.S. 9 on the Upper West Side, is also the president of National Action Against Obesity ("a one-woman campaign run out of Roth's home in Manhattan," according to the Guardian, which recently profiled Roth in a piece strongly suggesting she has an eating disorder.) As such, Me!Me! feels, uhm, passionately about protecting children, particularly her own, from obesity and all its associated health risks. In short, she is a terror.

Anti-abortion radical Catholic Mullah Randall Terry threw a press conference with free chicken wings and Guinness for journalists, yesterday. It did not boost attendance, really.

Oh, right, because he's a wonderful entertainer. But he also has a brain, and a conscience, and Shepard Smith has noticed that the emailers have become... unhinged, lately.

Who taught 89-year-old neo-Nazi killer James Von Brunn how to use the internet? Isn't it weird how much of a net presence he had, for a century-old lunatic? We have his (surprisingly postmodern) art and his weird forum posts.

What's crazy Representative Michele Bachmann up to, these days? Oh, just saying crazy things, in Congress, where she is an elected representative of the people, and a legislator. Today: America is like "the commercial movie 'Titanic.'"