Crazy people of America: stop telling everyone that you're going to kill prominent politicians! We know you're too dumb and crazy to do it, but the Feds don't!

In this video, a reporter repeatedly interrupts clergymen, arguing with them about the definition of a "grocery store," and finally gets so mad he storms out of the press conference. He's very earnest! But crazy. [700WLW]

Pat Buchanan, valiant defender of the White Man and his interests, knows that there is hostility and bigotry toward white men who voted for Pat Buchanan. And it's all because of that woman, Sonia Sotomayor.

Roman Catholic priestess and White House correspondent for the Macon-based Georgia Informer Brenda Lee just wanted to give Barack Obama a letter telling him to stand strong against the gays. Why did the Secret Service pervs have to do her like that?

You hear about people finding out years after a one-night fling that they have a kid they never met, and you think, "Wild, but I can see how it happened." Then you hear about Larry King's "long lost" son, Larry King Jr., and you think, "Larry King is insane."

Yesterday, asshole expert Jared Paul Stern identified German "Prince" Marcus von Anhalt as the "World's Richest Asshole." Like all noblemen, the Prince has a Myspace page:

Yes, this is partly our fault, this story having legs, but still: this man exists, and that is not our fault. He is the blogger who is exposing Barack Obama's scandalous Dijon obsession.

Friday we wondered: is Deborah Perez, who claims her dad was the Zodiac Killer, some sort of wacko? Now it appears the answer is "Yes, a big one."

Hark, who will stand up for the common man against Joe Biden and his hatred of public transportation? How about a multimillionaire media big shot with a compulsive need for money and luxury?

"I'm 2 miles away coming to your house...are you home?" "You need to call me...This isn't fair to me. Do you have no soul?" Text messages from a psycho ex, or your auto loan company?

Hello, I've just returned from a panel of some of our favorite dynamic media personalities: Daily Beastie Tina Brown! Bush roboflack Ari Fleischer! And the (charmingly?) doddering Peggy Noonan! Come explore the fun!

The Mexican Swine Flu outbreak and it subsequent media coverage: what does renowned Life Stylist Blair French have to say about it? Enough to issue an ill-advised press release, astoundingly!

The new Harper's has a really scary piece on the evangelical Christian radicalization of the US Military, and to celebrate, here is an ex-Navy chaplain issuing a fatwa against one of its subjects.

The St. Louis newspaper runs a picture of a black man kissing his white girlfriend; rednecks write racist comments; we mock those comments. Now, the almost-as-bad backlash: the "I'm the least racist!" comment contest:

I mean can you believe the nerve of this fuckin' guy, coming on CNBC and saying amateurs should follow a proven successful passive investment strategy and shouldn't try to time the market according to the rantings of a man whose stock picks have a losing record? The nerve of this fuckin' guy. Shove your "index funds" up your tight ass!

Cary Tennis: "I like to try new things. It means that often I do not finish old things. I have another thing wrong with me, too. Sometimes I don't like to try new things." What?

Everybody, even Ashley Dupre, thinks yoga is so great that they even make their dogs do it and stuff, but what about when the yoga instructor hypnotizes and molests your girlfriend in class? Oh it happens.

"Black care never catches a rider whose pace is fast enough," Rod Blagojevich said to assembled reporters outside a Chicago courthouse today. That means he pleaded not guilty.

Hah, it's fun to marginalize a protest movement by selectively focusing on its craziest fringes, but the "Tea Party" movement is all fringe and no legitimate grievance. Look, the white supremacists are psyched!